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Depressed . . . maybe you can give me some advice

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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-27-10 11:32 PM
Original message
Depressed . . . maybe you can give me some advice
A year ago, I had surgery for a benign brain tumor. Unbeknownst to me, my husband finally received the check in December to cover the surgeon's fee (he and I were separated at the time). He casually mentioned this to me the other day. He said he had to open a special account for the check, and the funds were not yet available to pay the surgeon. I asked him if he had made a copy of the check, and he said he didn't. I also asked him why he didn't forward the check to the surgeon's office. He said that "NationsBank" wouldn't allow that.

If you are familiar with my previous posts, you would know that my husband is an alcoholic.

I asked him where the checks were for this "special" account, and he didn't know. I found them in our office. According to the deposit slip, a portion of the funds became available on 12/9/09; the remainder became available on 12/14/09.

He is now refusing to sign a check for me to send to the surgeon, believing the money is best suited for other expenses. When I told him that that constituted insurance fraud, he muttered something along the lines of "fuck you", then went to bed.

Now I realize that my marriage is not salvageable, but what should I do with respect to the surgeon's bill? Should I just forge my husband's signature to the check? Should I hope that tomorrow if he sobers up, he will be more reasonable?

Getting married was the biggest mistake of my life. If I live long enough to get out of it, I promise to never do it again.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-27-10 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm not being sarcastic when I suggest this...
Use some of the money to hire a divorce attorney. Pay the surgeon with the rest. Try to do it without committing forgery, if you can.

Good luck.

:hug:

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old mark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-27-10 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. Forge it if you have to, and get the hell out of there - make sure you can get enough cash to
get away.
I have too many guys like that who will just take every penny and leave you with the debt and nothing else.(Women do this too, not just guys...)

Save yourself first, don't worry about being nice - get away.

Good luck.

mark

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emilyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-27-10 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Yes.
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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-28-10 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. I would love to get away, but
unfortunately, I have no one who can help me.

I guess the next best thing is to go ahead and forge a signature to pay the surgeon. If I know my husband, he will have no recollection of our conversation earlier today.

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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-28-10 12:49 AM
Response to Original message
5. My dear Pool Hall Ace...
Your husband is a dirty rotten bastard.

I have no real advice, but it looks like you already have that here in this thread.

Just hugs for you, sweetie...

:hug: :hug:
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stewartcolbert08 Donating Member (614 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-30-10 05:07 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. I completely agree with Peggy!
If you need anything at all feel free to pm me anytime or even email me. If you want I can send you my email. I am so sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else. I also agree with the part about the attorney. After you get that they should freeze everything including that money so that he cant touch it. Good luck sweety!
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-28-10 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. The way I heard it, from his Dad
About one of our local "leading citizens" : "My boy's got problems. One of em' is, anybody he owes money to is the worst son of a bitch in the world!"
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-30-10 08:28 AM
Response to Original message
8. Ace, whatever else you do, do not, repeat not, forge his signature on anything.
Oldie, but goldie: Never say anything on the net you do not want repeated in court.

Go shopping for a lawyer. There are those who will do pro bono or minimum fee for people in a financial hole or set up a reasonable payment schedule.

Good fortune :hug:
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-30-10 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. This is generally good advice,
but whom did the insurance cover? Was/is it a 'family' policy? And did the check/docs mention for what it was sent?

DO find an attorney, immediately.

:grouphug:
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