HG Ridiculous House porn

[Patiod]

I never had cable before, so I've never spent any time watching the House Porn network.

I'm living for the time being in my Dad's split-level colonial, and the HG channel basically implies that it's a shack - carpet! wallpaper! no travertine flooring! no granite countertops! No glass-tile backsplash!

Everytime the 20-something House Hunters see a bathroom or counters or cabinets like ours, they sneer "It will have to go - it's so dated". I feel like I might as well live in a hole in the ground unless I completely redo the bathrooms and kitchen (which I have not intention of doing, since everything is functional).

The improvements I DO want to make, which will actually make living more comfortable/fun as opposed to stylish - a 2nd floor deck, a hot-tub - are never featured. It's all style vs. comfort/fun.

That's it - this is not healthy. No more HG for me - I guess I'll be watching South Park reruns over the holidays.....

[kwassa]

1. House Porn is the shits!

Split-level colonials are shacks, after all. So passe. So 60s.

[AlienGirl]

2. Aw, I was hoping you meant the kind where House and Wilson are anime cats or something

[Patiod]

3. Uh, isn't that FanFic? In your head, AG?

Yikes!

[AlienGirl]

4. The anime cats kind is really funny and I could use some laughter!

Fanfic rocks.

Tucker

[Ineeda]

5. Stopped watching, too. Really irks me, all this "gotta-have".

You forgot walk-in closet, master suite with enough space for a football game and double sinks in the bathroom, eat-in kitchen with stainless steel appliances, a bedroom for each (potential or actual) kid plus guestroom, home office and at least another two bathrooms. I grew up in a 900 sq. ft. Cape with five kids, two adults, three bedrooms and one bathroom. My first home was 1000 sq. ft. ranch - two kids, two adults, three tiny bedrooms and one bathroom. Now I have a two-bedroom, two bath for just me, but no frills. Suits me perfectly.

[PassingFair]

6. Stainless Steel Appliances!

:rofl:

Don't forget the flatscreen TV's...."Do they come with the house"?

When I sell my house, I'm putting a flat screen in every room.

Some sucker will fall for it....

[Patiod]

9. SO grew up in a rowhouse: 7 people in 2 1/2 BRs

Parents had a room, his three sisters shared a small room, and he had his own closet-sized room, and great-grandma from Sicily was pretty happy with a pull-out sofa downstairs in the living room. One tiny bathroom upstairs, and a toilet out in the middle of the basement. So he thinks my Dad's 1960's colonial is HUGE, even though we know what we're "missing" thanks to plenty of friends with McMansions and the huge place he visited when he was (on scholarship) at a ritzy private Catholic prep school.

I actually HAVE a small walk-in closet at my Dad's, although I doubt anyone would "ohh and ahh" about it - but it's the lap of luxury after 20 years in a 1 BR apartment.

[LanternWaste]

7. while I live in genteel poverty and picturesque squalor

Granted, while I live in genteel poverty and picturesque squalor in little more than a 700 sq. ft. apt., I do so enjoy watching HGTV for the perfect intersection of design and fantasy.

[ipfilter]

8. HGTV is the pergraniteel channel.

Pergo floor, granite counter tops, and stainless appliances.

[Patiod]

10. Sorry, you're wrong

travertine, travertine, travertine floors!! must be travertine (unless it's heated statuary-grade marble)

[ipfilter]

11. pffft. Travertine is for the unwashed.

You haven't arrived until you have terrazzo.

[Patiod]

12. OMG - terrazzo - so 00s

Travertine is for the 10's

[Gold Metal Flake]

13. They are keeping local economies humming.

It's good for America. Installing the stuff future snobs will replace.