I think I want to move...

[hatredisnotavalue]

I really can't believe I am typing this. But I think I want to move. We live in a Northern Exposure town in the out-skirts of habitable Maine. We own 50 acres of land on a dead end road. We live in a three story log home we built ourselves, four bedrooms, two baths with a sixty-thousand dollar mortgage. We have beautiful vegetable and flower gardens and at least three miles of hiking and skiing trails on the property. We have the ^capacity to go off the grid and generate our own electricity.

The house overlooks the western mountains of Maine with incredible views. We can harvest our forest for our heating needs and we have multiple wells on the property for water. We also have high speed internet and satellite TV. My husband and I both work at home and telecommute.

We raised our kids here in the best environment possible for any child. Both are now in college, pretty much on their own.

I know this is many people's dream. But this town is so right wing, so red necked. it's impossible to make any friends. We have lived here 30 years and I guess I am sick of trying to find our niche. In last November's election, 66 percent of the voters voted against the gay marriage initiative. It truly is impossible to make friends up here.

I know this is our Nirvana and many would be jealous of our life. I just wished I lived in an area where D's ruled.

[Chan790]

1. No, I think that's reasonable...

everybody has the urge to see and live someplace new eventually.

My friend Shannon packed up and moved to CT from South Beach with exactly 10 minutes notice because even though South Beach is heavenly, she's a born snow-bunny and wanted more than anything in the world to live in the mountains and be able to go skiing in her own backyard. So...she does. And...it's great.

Me? I grew up on 2 acres of some of the most valuable real estate in CT on top of a mountain overlooking a river valley...I literally had a multi-million-dollar view out my bedroom window growing up, in an area that is just as heavenly as what you're describing. Spent my entire summers on horseback or on the hiking trails or reading under trees as tall as hills in most parts of the country or playing games in the neighbor's vineyards. (The games got more mature as I got older.) First chance I got I moved to the bad part of NE DC...from there I went to Baltimore, No. VA, then Philly, back to CT, moved to NYC, now back in DC. I just have wanderlust and love cities: fecund filth, danger, culture, crime and all. I grew up in someone else's idea of paradise; I don't love or even like nature.

My best friend and stepfather both had the same nearly-parallel experience. Both grew up in the ghetto (Flushing, NY and Hartford, CT respectively) and dreamed their entire lives of living someplace where they could drive a pick-up truck and be all rednecky. Drink beer around a campfire. Play in the dirt. And they're as happy as could be living where I couldn't wait to escape.

My roommate's best friend growing up is a firefighter at McMurdo Station in Antarctica. That's where she wants to be more than any place on Earth.

Everywhere is someone's idea of Heaven on Earth.

[hatredisnotavalue]

2. I think I got the itch visting my daughter in Boston

I have had so much fun there doing the bar scene, and the concerts and musuem thing..I really think I want to do the city life for a while. As well as meeting so many liberals in one city, I just loved it.

[trof]

9. I feel the same way when we see our daughter in Boston.

Quite a pleasant change from deep crimson south Alabama.

[david13]

3. Ah, the grass is always greener, isn't it? dc

[quakerboy]

4. A question

If 66 % voted against, dosnt that imply that 34% voted in favor of the gay marriage initiative? Or at least some portion, unless the remainder all declined to vote?

[murielm99]

5. OMG, you sound like me.

We supposedly have the good life in the country, too. But it is right-wing here. I have never fit in.

I want out. I have told my husband that I do not want to die here.

[elleng]

6. I do understand.

'We' are social beings. My family has disbursed, for good/bad/and normal reasons. I've retired, and moved out of immediate DC area into small city (not exurban) where I haven't made 'friends.' Don't think I will, likely, as most are made thru work/school/neighbors, and its not likely to happen. So kind of in quandry, tho I do have a good friend in DC suburb, but family doesn't like my friend, so life's difficult!

Will think of you!

[Orrex]

7. Have yourselves lobotomized, so that you'll be able to relate to your neighbors.

And you'll live happily ever after!




I can totally understand wanting to move because of not being able to connect with your neighbors, especially in such a comparatively remote area. I'm just amazed that you've endured it for 30 years!

[datasuspect]

8. friends are overrated

i can think of many like-minded people who would enjoy the environment you described.

why don't you run a resort for liberals? that way you'd have interesting people rotating in and out, you can feel useful as a host, and you'd only have to go into town to get stuff.

[trof]

10. Sounds like a good place to start a commune.

You can sign me up for the summer months.
;-)

[InkAddict]

11. Friends are over-rated. How 'bout we housesit for you while you

spend some time in the city.....

[madmom]

12. I had the same problem where I am, I've been here over 20 years and I'm

still the "outsider". I never socialized because the people around here are uptight snobs (this includes my hubby's family) IMO. During the last presidential campaign I had a lady call me and ask if I would like to volunteer in the local dem/Obama office. I did, we found out we live within 3 miles of each other and have become fast friends along with another lady who lives a little further away. We were all like the odd man out in our communities until we met each other now we have fun together, go for coffee, play cards, picnic, whatever. It's almost like a new lease on life outside of our respective everyday home life.

[MrMickeysMom]

13. Yeah, BUT...

... If you hang in there (really), don't you think the pendulum might come back at some point?

I live in a town where anyone questioning Bush or the events of 9/11 (and we're not even talking MIHOP) is likely to be seen as pretty "unAmerican". This is the old guard, and they are falling off the cliff... if not now, soon.

So, hold true to your values. In fact, put it out there for others general consumption, and if they think it's too outside the lines, well, tough shit. You have your pride, don't' you? Sure you do!

Be true to yourself and SOMEONE (like where I am) will stick their heads up soon from the crowd. Then, you'll discover a few more and a few more.

YOU will be the reason they learn to grow as human beings.

I say, STAY (just a little bit longer...) and hang in there!

[Flaxbee]

14. Since you and your husband can both telecommute, is there

any way you could spend a few months renting an apartment in a city, giving it a try?

Or find someone you trust to do a home-switch for a few months? They stay where you live, enjoy the solitude, you live where they do (preferably a city) and see what you think?

Not easy if you have pets, etc... but might be worth looking into, giving it a try.

Or, as someone mentioned (tongue-in-cheek, but still, not a bad idea) - with all that land, could you host some people over the summer? You'd have to have some sort of accommodations for them, but have a DU summer retreat?

I understand. My husband and I are in the boondocks of western NC. Very very religious area, and while there are a few people around here who think like we do (many retired folks from up north who came here to enjoy milder seasons), we don't have friends. And there is no culture - the local rich guy just built a performing arts center, but the only groups he allows to perform there are "Christian" groups.

[hatredisnotavalue]

15. Hey you guys!

Thanks so much for being so encouraging. I thought after I posted this that some would think me ungrateful of my life, which is so not the case. I will give it one more year and fight the fight. I ran for the legislature in my district during 2008 and lost by only 375 votes, in a heavily R area. I will give it one more spin. I must have something in common with 1900 voters! If I don't win, I will move to greener Democratic pastures. So good to know that there are others out there with the same neighbors!

[hatredisnotavalue]

16. p.s. All of you guys are welcomed to stay with us

Please open invitation for a place to stay in Maine...we have tons of room and would love to have ya

[trof]

18. See my 'commune' post.

;-)

[hatredisnotavalue]

19. Well when are you coming to stay!?

[hippywife]

17. Living in Oklahoma, I can easily understand

how you are feeling. The only reason we don't move away is we can't live as we do as cheaply anywhere else. Sounds like you have an ideal living arrangement, too, just in the wrong place.

What I would suggest is making the effort to find people who do share your ideology. We found a group of them out here in our rural area and for awhile, we had once a month get togethers. Pot luck dinner and someone would present a topic of interest to discuss. It was a great time. The only reason we stopped going is that we have too much to do around here and I needed a break from current events for my emotional and mental health.

Do try to find people with whom you share an affinity so that you don't giving up what you have and live to regret it.

Good luck! :hug: