I know 3 people who will be all alone on Thanksgiving and that's the way they

[Peregrine Took]

want it. All got invitations to family dinners but refused them.

Being alone on Thanksgiving or Xmas is really depressing. I've done it and you feel like the only person in the world. Some people can do it, though, and seem to prefer it, I know my older brother does.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Peregrine Took...

If they're happy alone, then they are being true to themselves.

I would not be happy like that...

Respect is key.

:hug:

[Peregrine Took]

19. But they're not "happy" - they are miserable - alone or with people. n/t

[Catshrink]

2. I've done it, by choice.

Sometimes we just need some space. My job is people intensive and some years I've just been so worn out I need quiet more than I need turkey and hoopla. It's not depressing, it's a matter of survival and doing what's best for me.

[begin_within]

3. I've done it too, by choice, and it's a bummer.

I finally ended up smoking pot and watching "Jeopardy!" on TV. It was lame. I've never done it again. If I was alone not by choice, I would spend Thanksgiving or Christmas at one of those benefit events where they serve food or give out presents. That would be far better than being alone.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

4. Just respect their wishes

I did the same thing in 1999. No Thanksgiving or Christmas celebrations.

[S n o w b a l l]

5. I'm doing it.

I may or may not go to my Mom's just to pay her a visit and if so, I'll just stay a few minutes since she's not feeling well.

I don't mind it at all. It's just like another day to me now. Didn't use to be that way, but I've gotten used to it now.

[Zavulon]

6. I'd do it this year myself if I could get away with it.

The best Thanksgiving I've ever had was by myself in a sports bar. Holidays are overrated. Togetherness, blah, blah - you've got the whole year, one day shouldn't matter that much. No day into which goes so much effort and stress ever turns out to be even close to worth the trouble.

Alas, I don't get to spend this one alone - I get to spend it with my girlfriend and her parents, who are staying with us, so I won't even get lucky at the end of the night. I know, that isn't supposed to be what the holiday spirit is all about, but I've done this day with this crew before and it honestly sucks. Her dad is going to spend yet a few more hours trying to get me into gold and fishing, and I have no interest in either. Her mother is going to drop subtle hints about how everything is wrong and my hair is too long. Then, they tag team and demand to know why we won't just finally get married since we've been together since the Clinton administration anyway.

Our system: we always pretend we forgot one key ingredient for the dinner so that I can go out and "buy" it - the item is already in my car, but I can escape for about 60-90 minutes and then claim that the lines at Giant food were INSANE. This is the quid pro quo that I get for putting up with this shit.

I'm sorry, I'll never understand why people consider being alone on the holidays to be depressing (I've heard all the reasoning, don't really buy any of it). I'd be alone on every holiday if I could. Truth be told, I'd prefer to go alone to my favorite restaurant and make the day of some waitress stuck at work with a massive tip over sitting at home being corrected in the errors of my ways by my would-be in-laws.

[MissMillie]

7. Well, I think if you surround yourself w/ love all the time

then the holidays don't feel so lonely.

I'm very lucky. I see enough of my family and friends to sustain me through the times when everyone else feels there should be a party.

(I can't tell you how many New Year's Eves I've spent alone.)

[S n o w b a l l]

8. That's a very good point, Miss Millie...

I love my family and just took a 7 day cruise with them. But, they all have their own lives and inlaws which I understand. It's the year round love relationships that matter to me too.

[cwydro]

29. Exactly.

It is the year round thing that counts.

[riderinthestorm]

9. I've done it and loved it!

I'm usually the Thanksgiving host for a large group. It's exhausting. One year my husband and my kids travelled to NY to visit his father (who was dying, I had had business earlier the week previous and had spent a considerable amount of time with him so...). I just played along that I was staying in NY that year even though I'd already flown home to cover the farm chores while my husband was away.

I slept in, I cooked myself a little soup and homemade bread. I read in front of the fire. I slept some more. And read. It was WONDERFUL! Perhaps if one were alone all the time that would be different but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would repeat it in a country minute if my house wasn't the traditional "place" for the "big" holidays. I'm gearing up for 15 people inundating us tomorrow. I'm tired already thinking about it.

[Mojambo]

10. I used to LOVE it

Feeling like the only person in the world isn't necessarily a horrible thing.

[Iggo]

11. I'm one of those who prefers to be alone on the holidays.

It can be just as depressing when people won't accept that, and work as hard as they can to go against my wishes. Funny thing is, they claim to be doing it all for me. (To be fair, they probably believe it, too.)

[enigmatic]

15. I'm just like you

Absolutely hated when friends tried to get me to spend the holidays w/ them, but most of them caught on pretty quickly that I didn't reject them out of malice, and then didn't ask of of it, either.

[Iggo]

17. Friends catch on quicker than family, god love 'em. (n/t)

[monmouth]

27. Me too. I'm alone, watching "Closer", kids have called (they feel

like I do) and one is out of state. I had invitations but declined. I love being alone...

[hippywife]

12. Sometimes it's nice to be alone.

Especially when life is stress-filled and you are surrounded by people with their wants and needs most days of the year.

And I hate it when people try to force me into doing something I don't want to do when I'm in the mood to be by myself.

[susanr516]

13. I spent one Thanksgiving alone

I was really bummed about being all alone, but it turned out to be one of the best holidays I've ever had. It was very relaxing.

[enigmatic]

14. Before I was married, I preferred to spend all holidays alone

I made them into my day; whatever I wanted to do was the plan. I spent a Christmas in the late 90's camping in the desert west of Phoenix and it was one of the most profound experiences in my life. I never, ever regretted it.

My wife is like me on this, so we plan them as our days to do whatever...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear enigmatic...

Good for you!

We are doing something we want to do tomorrow, too...

It does involve other people, but we're alone a lot of the time, and we enjoy their company.

:hug:

[elocs]

18. I am spending Thanksgiving alone and that's the way I like it.

There's absolutely nothing depressing about if for me at all. I am alone, but not lonely.

[GoCubsGo]

20. Alone, but not lonely.

Exactly. I prefer it this way, too. I can eat what I please. Do what I want. Watch what I want on TV without having to battle for the remote.

I'm not exactly alone, if you consider my cats are here. They're good company, actually--except when they're sleeping.

[elocs]

21. You know, I can remember when I was in my middle 20s and I had to go out every night I could

because I might miss something. Then I realized that there was nothing more sad than a lot of people all together, lonely, but pretending they were not. Then the next night they (we) would do it all over again.

I have come to evolve to be a solitary person, preferring my own company to others. I don't think anyone would guess that because I am by no means shy and will quite openly and easily talk to strangers in public. But when push comes to shove I prefer my own company and because of that I am not good at compromising in what I want to do, enjoying my personal autonomy. During the holidays it is easy to allow yourself to become maudlin, but it is a state of mind. Memories are never really as good and perfect as we paint them to be and we conveniently forget about the downside and the bad times. I can spend my time alone very comfortably without being sad or depressed.

[Louisiana1976]

26. Similar here--I'm spending Thanksgiving in the company of my cat.

[Hello_Kitty]

22. I guess I'm weird. I've never minded spending holidays alone.

In the military and then when I worked nights at a manufacturing plant, I always volunteered to take holiday duty. I don't have much of a family and hanging out with other peoples' families doesn't really thrill me. Today I'm having dinner w/my BF's fam and I'm approaching it as something I will tolerate rather than enjoy. And, mind you, these are very nice people, and all liberals too.

[cwydro]

23. I have done it by choice

and have been perfectly happy. I have done it on Christmas too.

But I have always been happy in solitude.

I know people mean well, but when folks keep saying "omg, you will be ALONE on (insert holiday here), please come and be with us"...I don't know how to say to them that I am completely happy.

One of my favorite Christmases was spent with my dogs cross country skiing in the NC mountains...all alone. I loved it.

I have great parents, but sometimes I am just not up for the holidays.

[bikebloke]

24. Done it and doing it today.

And I'm not depressed, nor unhappy. I'll do the same for solstice time. Today I spent longer than I anticipated doing bicycle maintenance - not happy about that. Then went for a test ride. It's nice as most of the roads are near deserted.

As for family, once the older generation died off, we were no longer forced into each other's company.

[Kali]

25. I have never had the pleasure.

I would love to skip a holiday or do somehting alone. (without hurting anybody's feelings - unfortunately none in the immediate family would understand, sigh)

Oh and a working oven would make doing this holiday shit a lot more pleasant.

[ismnotwasm]

28. Just me and my husband today

No kids, no family, no stress. It's quite nice. I'm very relaxed and happy right now.

I do take your meaning, holidays are important and deeply meaningful to most people, and it's hard for people to take a real (and healthy) break.

[KatyaR]

30. I've done the holidays by myself for years, and I like it that way.

It's quiet and I can spend the time doing what I want instead of being with people who only remind me of what I don't have and who I've lost. So it's a good thing for me.

[Hello_Kitty]

31. That's what I keep trying to explain to my BF.

I'd rather spend holidays with just him, or alone while he goes and visits his extended family. He really wants me to think of his family as my family but it doesn't work that way. They're not my family, as likable a bunch as they are, and hanging out with them only reminds me of what I lack and things I'd rather not think about.

[NV Whino]

32. Alone today and loving it

Turkey on the barbee. Cats on the couch. Me soaking up the silence and the last of he good weather.

[deucemagnet]

33. Just me and the cat alone today.

I went to a potluck with my work friends yesterday, and that was enough. My family is a ten-hour drive away, and it's just not worth it. I got an invitation to spend the day with my aunt and her in-laws, but spending a day with people I don't know and their eight screaming grandkids is a non-starter for me.

Actually, it's been very relaxing. All the college kids cleared out of town for the holiday, and I get to enjoy some quiet time, watch movies, watch football, and enjoy a day of slothful inactivity. It makes me kind of want to stay home for x-mas!

[AsahinaKimi]

34. Now you know another!!

I am here all by myself...Later I will do some cooking and get my Turkey dinner going. I don't intend on going anywhere. I called my parents, said my "Herros" ... and intend to enjoy the day..

[Rhiannon12866]

35. I'm on my own, except for my pup and two cats.

They're all sleeping, so aren't much company just now. I guess I could have gone somewhere, but didn't feel like making the effort. I've been under-the-weather for over a week. Also, I loved doing my own Thanksgiving, enjoy cooking and making what I know will please someone, and it's just not the same being a guest somewhere else. :-(

[blueamy66]

36. My fiance and I were invited to 3 different dinners...

but declined.

We made our own little dinner and watched football and read and watched the fire and now he is snoring away.

When he wakes up, it's banana cream pie time!

I deal with lots of people all week....it's nice to have some alone time.

[Sannum]

37. I spent last Christmas alone.

I checked into a very nice hotel on Christmas Eve with several books and my laptop - I ordered room service for breakfast and went to a movie on Christmas Day.

I plan to make it a tradition. I don't like holiday hoopla - there is only so much togetherness I can stand.

[jakefrep]

41. That's a neat idea.

Though I generally enjoy getting together with my family, the notion of checking out and doing something on my own on the holidays has its appeal.

[seabeyond]

38. i have done it, by choice and didnt feel good. never did it again. accept the invite and

i am not a people person or into bdays and holidays.

[Skittles]

39. I've done it many times

those of us who don't mind our own company have no problem with it

[debbierlus]

40. I would HATE to be alone on the holidays.

I was with my parents and my kids and, my husband.

I am so glad to have family.

[graywarrior]

42. Done it and would do it again.

It's sooooo god damn peaceful and guilt free. I LOVE it!

[Odin2005]

43. Some people just like to be alone.

They may be autistic, agoraphobic, depressed, etc.

[doc03]

44. I prefer to be alone, I turned down two invitations

for dinner today. One thing for sure I try to spend as little time with my dysfunctional family as possible all contact with them does is depress me and stress me out. Next spring I retire and I am seriously thinking of selling my house and moving as far away from them as I can.

[mike_c]

45. met the ex for lunch-- otherwise, I've just hung out alone, worked a bit...

...and went for a walk. Had a lovely day.

[wickerwoman]

46. I haven't celebrated Western holidays for six years

and have never missed any of them. It's only lonely or depressing if you build it up in your mind to be (i.e. "I'm alone because nobody loves me, poor me, etc.") Otherwise, it's just another day like it is for most of the rest of the planet. Honestly, it's been years since I even kept track of which day Thanksgiving was.

Some people don't need a lot of noise and hoopla and buying things and desperately surrounding themselves with people they don't really like and rarely talk to otherwise to have a sense of tradition or holiday spirit. And being judged to be mentally ill or miserable because you prefer your own company doesn't really do much to convince people of this type that they're missing much by being loners.