For you, what is the role of "chemistry" in dating?

[Boojatta]

If there isn't any chemistry initially, then how do you know that there isn't going to be any chemistry?

Also, what does the word "chemistry" mean in the context of dating?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. What is this "dating" of which you speak?

[Boojatta]

6. It can be explained in terms of hugs and kisses.

There are two major categories of hugs and kisses.

First category: Polite, obligatory, unpleasant hugs and kisses between relatives who didn't have any choice about becoming relatives. It's often first chronologically because little Billy is required to kiss aunt Mabel on the cheek.

Second category: Voluntary, pleasant hugs and kisses.

Dating is a systematic process for creating occasions for hugs and kisses of the second category.

[Capn Sunshine]

2. It's been awhile

but you know it when you feel it. I dated extensively; hundreds of women over the years. When we met I was SO attracted to my wife, it was all I could think about--being with her, or how long until I would be with her. Then when we were together , we could not keep our hands off each other. It was quite delicious. That was 24 years ago. And we still can't keep our hands off each other.
:loveya:
Short answer , you'll feel the attraction.

[blue_roses_lib]

4. It's an elusive thing

But I agree, you know it when you feel it. I just started seeing someone. Went out a couple of times, it was nice, and then went out yesterday and felt that click... like you say, I can't stop thinking about him, and I can't seem to keep my hands off each him. It's been awhile for me too, and Damn it's nice.

:blush:

[Rising Phoenix]

3. example

I went to a 4th of july party this year

hooked up with a guy......didn't know him well....I just wanted him


another guy, very nice, wanted to hook up, and I wouldn't, and he said, "you don't feel for me what you feel for him, even though it is only physical"

not a slut, I was attracted to one and not the other, I don't know why.

[Orrex]

5. Rutherford noted that all dating is either physics or stamp collecting.

[Boojatta]

7. Kick for more replies

[Canuckistanian]

8. What do you mean? Like Chloral Hydrate?

What have you heard?

[Jade Fox]

9. Chemistry is undeniable.....

in my experience. Some people you just click with, and, in addition, it's different every time, and not always good.

Without chemistry the whole thing starts to quickly feel like work.

[av8rdave]

10. I always avoided chemistry

Not one of my stronger subjects.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. when something goes "click" in my head ...

sort of feels like something snapped into place and presto bingo!

[Boojatta]

27. It's okay. We don't need an explanation if we can replicate the process.

Are you willing to be cloned?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. Are you willing to be cloned? no.

For you, what is the role of "chemistry" in dating? none.

If there isn't any chemistry initially, then how do you know that there isn't going to be any chemistry?

I don't know.

Also, what does the word "chemistry" mean in the context of dating? I don't know.

[Deep13]

12. Adenosine triphosphate is an absolute precondition to dating.

Seriously, for me it was a decision, not some gut reaction. I felt that Sweetie and I had so much in common including similar temperments and senses of humor that she was an ideal choice. I have never had cause to regret that decision.

[Orsino]

13. We call it chemistry when it appears at first sight...

...or very soon after. If deep compatibility develops more slowly, we would just call that love, I guess.

[Boojatta]

22. I agree, and I think that elevating chemistry above love is a sign of misplaced priorities.

[raccoon]

14. Actually, I think trigonometry has more to do with it. nt

[Boojatta]

23. Are you alluding to curves?

[raccoon]

30. "As long as you got the curves, I got the angles"--Wolfman Jack.

Never thought of that, but it makes sense.


:shrug:

[Boojatta]

33. Now I understand ... maybe. May I have confirmation, please?

Actually, I think trigonometry has more to do with it.

I took this to mean that chemistry involves subtle, unseen inner qualities of things, and complex systems of interactions, while the true dynamics of dating can be fully understood via visual inspection of outer geometry.

"As long as you got the curves, I got the angles"--Wolfman Jack.

Now I see "trigonometry" as an alias for "angles" which is itself an alias for "games." In other words, you are forced to anticipate the catch before it catches you. You encounter too many tricksters.

Is that correct?

Pondering this, I'm feeling a bit guilty about my posting style on DU. I have a reputation for being less than transparent. However, communication on a message board is in many ways quite different from face-to-face conversation. Also, I haven't received confirmation, so this may be nothing more than my own eccentric, incoherent rumination.

[Beer Snob-50]

15. chemistry is important

as it has given us "roofies" which is an important part of the dating scene.

[cwydro]

16. Well, you sure know it

when you feel it.

That's about all I can say about that.

[kwassa]

17. There is both positive chemistry and negative chemistry

I can be deeply attracted to a person who is very, very bad for me. After a couple of train wreck relationships, I am still attracted to this type of person, but don't act on it.

the trick is to know the difference. I also have positive chemistry with women who for a variety of reasons are completely unavailble. I am now married and unavailable myself, so I don't act on either, quite honestly.

Still tempted. Sadder, but wiser.

[cwydro]

18. Very good point.

I seem to have that same problem.

Best I stay away from relationships altogether.

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. Non-verbal communication.

None of that, no second glance.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

20. 100%

Otherwise I wouldn't be attracted to him in the first place. If you don't feel a visceral need to get busy, don't bother!

[Hell Hath No Fury]

21. There are differant types of "chemistry" --

For me, I can have intellectual chemistry with someone initally and become very physically attracted to them from there.

Then there is this weird chemistry where you really really like someone and are attacted to them, but once it gets physical it is all wrong, just bleck. :puke:

And there's just plain old horndog chemistry -- they look good or smell great or wear a pair of pants right -- and I am physically attracted to them. They can be dumb as a post or an asshole, but I still want to jump their bones.

Chemistry #1 is the only one that has led me anywhere worthwhile. I make it a point to be really aware of just what type of chemistry I am experiencing with a man -- it really saves on a lot of pain/embarrassment/hurt feelings.

[AsahinaKimi]

24. Chemistry

I have been told it takes balance. A little acid and a little alkaline.
(Ssshhh! But my dating is more like piss & vinegar)
:rofl:

[Sultana]

25. don't know

:shrug:

I have never been on a date in my life. I've had an "unofficial" bf but not a real bf. <_<

[Boojatta]

26. In the realm of personal relationships, my impression was that

the real is often unofficial, and that the official doesn't necessarily have any significance.

[Sultana]

34. Trust me the unofficial was just

a friend w/ benefits.


I'm still a virgin........though. It was probably the lamest FWB situation in history. :crazy: :D


*So embarrassed :hide:

[clyrc]

29. From what I can remember from years and years ago

it was pretty important. I don't "click"in any way with most people, so when I do it seems like a really big deal.

[Chan790]

31. I don't believe in it...

or "spark". These are terms made up so allow people to more simply explain why they're not attracted to someone when they know they're not attracted and either don't know why or don't want to explain why.

"I'm sorry, but we have no chemistry." is nicer than "You said you were a vegan and then you ordered a BLT with extra mayo on Wonder bread, hold the lettuce and tomato, at lunch; also you smell like an abattoir in 104'F heat."

I dated that person. She also missed unsubtle clues about appropriate dress for the occasion. I gave her three dates...regret that.

[NewJeffCT]

32. Well, in the past

for me, chemistry was always about how well I got along with the woman personality-wise, as I'm kind of quiet & laid back. So, I tend to go for women that are not just intelligent, but more outgoing and energetic. Chemistry includes: Did the conversation flow smoothly and naturally? Did things 'click' in terms of interests - not necessarily that you have the exact same interests, but you had enough in common that you could talk about your interests? And, of course, do I want to have sex with this woman?

On the last one...between marriages, I met this one woman that I liked quite a bit. We got along well in terms of personality, we could talk to each other, had a good amount of common interests, she was smart, had a good job (and also was good with money & had a very clean home - something that was important to me after being married to a woman that was awful with money & did no housework)... plus, she was cute and a nice person. However, I just did not have any sexual chemistry with her for some reason. I even went out with her a few more times just to make sure because I thought I *should* want to have sex with her, as she had everything else I wanted. However, no luck and I'm not the type to press the issue.

[Boojatta]

35. Kick because there's probably a lot of ground that hasn't been covered.

[Gabi Hayes]

36. chemistry of love.......

[valerief]

37. You mean Viagra? nt

[tigereye]

38. hmm, that's an interesting question

maybe people should see each other a few times just to be sure. Just because there isn't "instant" chemistry, doesn't mean there won't be any.

[ZombieHorde]

39. "what does the word "chemistry" mean in the context of dating"

Mutual lust.

[old mark]

41. Amen. nt

[SKKY]

40. Chemistry is EVERYTHING.

[Taitertots]

42. I've been feeling like a Nobel gas lately n/t

[jrandom421]

43. Chemistry? Sounds like napalm to me.

Why napalm?

1. It comes in low and fast, you don't see it coming.

2. It hits hard

3. It ignites on impact

4. It burns hot

5. It burns fast

6. It sticks around for a while