Gender sensitive alternative to the word "gal" request

[eyepaddle]

Backstory: My wife dislikes the word "girl" when applied to adult women, as it seems dismissive of their maturity and autonomy. I get that, so I am asking for suggested replacments candidates here. I just find the word "gal" to be a bit to hick, "woman" in many cases too oddly formal, and "lady" is just bordering on archaic--and is certainly no less formal than "woman".

To give an example: if I am relating how many day went and refer to a male co-worker I will never say somehting like "This man I work with said..." It'd always be along the lines of "this guy..." or "this dude..."

So referring to a person as something like "this woman at work said the funniest thing..." just doesn't sound right to my ears. Too much formality in an informal context.

Well, can anybody help me out?

[rcrush]

1. HEY LADY

Captain Boobages?

[Captain Hilts]

21. Hasn't that expression completely ruined 'lady'!!! Ugh!

[Duer 157099]

2. Chick?

hehe, probably not.

It is a thorny issue though. Wish I knew the right answer, if there even is one.

[eyepaddle]

4. I'll be honest--I think we're going to have to make one up

If "gal" didn't sound so 1970s-Country-music-variety-show it'd be a good candiate. But I can't hear the word gal and not think of ruffled skirts and cowboy boots.

[david13]

7. I can't stand that one either. I get all that and more. It just rankles me

as it's like chic only more diminutive sounding. Skirts & cowboy boots and bigotry and sexism. All rolled into a 3 letter word.
I say 'somebody'; somebody at work said ...
dc

[Captain Hilts]

27. Makes my skin crawl. nt

[timtom]

67. I always think of "gal friday"

(Remember those classified ads?)

[Captain Hilts]

26. There isn't a right answer. When I was teaching, I'd ask the students in my class

whether they preferred 'black' or 'African-Am' and, when they could not reach a consensus, just used whichever popped into my head at any particular time. But it gave the kids in class a chance to see that I cared what made them comfortable AND that there was no, one answer.

[Louisiana1976]

3. "Dude" can be unisex.

One of my dad's nicknames for me was "Dude," ever since I was a girl.

[eyepaddle]

5. Yeah, and I do use it that way a bunch, but

it doesn't always cut it. I'd even say that "guy" doens't always mean male--but when you need to specify....

I'm stuck.

[JTG of the PRB]

6. +1

I call a lot of my good female friends/coworkers dude at one point or another.

[Captain Hilts]

49. My dad called me 'Ace' and 'Skeezix'. nt

[kedrys]

64. I once called my dad "dude" instead of "dad"

There was an awkward moment. :rofl:

[Demoiselle]

70. How about "Dudette?" eom

[Richardo]

8. I use 'gal'

"One of the gals I work with said..." along the same lines as 'guys'.

I'm old enough that I still find women referring to each other as 'dude' pretty funny. I chuckled all through 'Juno' for that reason (plus: funny movie).

[Bunny]

10. My kid's friends sometimes call me 'dude' and it cracks me up.

In turn, I call them 'chickens' as in "what are you chickens doing tonight?" which they find equally amusing.

[Captain Hilts]

23. That one makes my skin crawl. I don't know why. 'guys' is okay for women in the plural...

it's a real dilemma.

[Richardo]

30. Maybe it's because I've lived in Texas for 16 years

I doesn't grate on me (or anyone around me it seems), and seems like a good middle ground between 'women' and 'girls'. :shrug:

[Captain Hilts]

32. Yes. It's more a southern thing and it doesn't have the pitfalls 'girls' or 'ladies' have. IN the

South, you have to be careful how you use 'guys' in reference to women.

But, you know that already.

[Richardo]

39. You're right about using 'guys' in reference to women down here - can you imagine using 'dudes'?

:scared: Talk about a minefield! :D

[The2ndWheel]

9. Marklar

[flvegan]

11. I use gal, chick and dude for women all the time.

Dude, only when I'm talking to them directly, as "this dude at work..." would have one assume it was a man.

[Inchworm]

12. I like "lady" in your example

If you feel the need to be gender specific.

Myself, I'd say chick or woman, but those that know me realize I mean nothing by terms that I utter. I try to be as professional sounding as I can when I need to be, but even then dude, chick, butthead, crazy lady, lunatic, etc. comes out.

:hi:

[HopeHoops]

13. Wench?

No, that's probably wrong.

[eyepaddle]

14. I'm not a real SCA kinda guy, but I don't think "Wench" was always

a pejorative. A bit of a separate topic I know, but does anybody have the rundown on this?

[HopeHoops]

15. Well, a little over 20 years ago, we got thrown out of a bar because of that word.

One of our table guests stood up and yelled "Oh, BAR Wench!"

We were asked to settle our tab and escorted out of the bar.

[eyepaddle]

16. Heh, yeah, I think it HAS been seen as bit improper for the last 300 or 400 years!

So you were still out of luck 20 years ago!

[HopeHoops]

17. We got thrown out of the SAME bar another time - same dude...

He stood up on a chair and shouted "EAT C*** SUCK T**TY! We're the boys from Ellicott City. Yeah BEAVER SHIT, RAH RAH RAH!"

That was a faster exit.

[Captain Hilts]

25. I don't think 'wench' is necessarily a perjorative either. nt

[alarimer]

29. Off topic, but people at my work use wench when they mean winch all the time.

In writing, that is. In Texas speech they actually sound the same.

It drives me nuts but is also pretty funny. I have the urge to correct people but don't do it.

[david13]

38. Ackshooly, there was a English style eatery, I forget the name, several

outlets, in the San Francisco area, 60's and 70's, old English tavern style, with costumes, and I remember the servors would come up and say "I'll be your serving wench tonight."
It was decorated in English Tudor style, large rough wooden tables and seats. It was meant to be 300 or 400 year old style.
What was the name?
dc

[canoeist52]

40. Medieval Manor? there's still one in Boston

http://www.medievalmanor.com/

[david13]

41. It was similar, but I believe there was no show. Just food in the

setting, or decor. I wonder if they were related.
This reminds me of at least one here, Renaissance Fair. And I think there is one in Orange County, Excaliber?
But similar.
dc

[phasma ex machina]

52. Ho' is probably too wrong. nt

[mitchum]

18. Chippie?

[Kutjara]

72. That's what I was going to say. Has a cool, 1940s...

...Raymond Chandler kind of vibe to it.

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. "Beer me Wench!" usually works wonders for me.

When I want attention, and don't care what kind.

[eyepaddle]

22. !

:rofl:

[Crabby Appleton]

20. My Little Chickadee

[Captain Hilts]

24. It's a real problem. 'girl', like 'guys' is really only used in the plural. 'Girls' poker night',

for example.

When referring to a group of women, I will use 'ladies' or 'gentlemen'. If it's a mixed sex group, I usually say 'folks' or 'kind souls'.

If it's my buddies, I use 'girls'.

If it's a single sex group, it's okay to use 'boys' and 'girls'. "Our boys overseas," for example. But this can get you into trouble with some women.

NEVER use 'female' when you mean 'woman'. 'Female' is not exclusive to humans. Use only as an adjective.

NEVER use the combination "Ladies and men." If you use 'ladies', use 'gentlemen', and same for 'women'/'men'.

It's tough. I'm glad you asked.

[Gormy Cuss]

28. Learn to like "woman"

It's the least loaded of the gender specific terms on your list. Another alternative is to duck using a gender reference when it's not relevant. For example: "Someone at work said the funniest thing..."

[Captain Hilts]

31. I think that's going to be the best answer. nt

[noamnety]

78. +1 (nt)

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Moondog]

34. The problem is that various societal "sensitivities" speed along at a far faster pace than

the language evolves. If you want to avoid offending, inadvertently or otherwise, someone with a well developed case of "sensitivity," then you need to learn to love embracing formality.

This does, of course, stifle communication and sacrifices an ease that we once felt in the presence of others. Sadly, it appears to be the price we pay in contemporary society for being solicitous of these various and ever-evolving sensitivities.

Be smart. Be formal.

[Captain Hilts]

35. I err on the side of formal also, in public settings or those among strangers. nt

[mdmc]

36. doll

?
guys and dolls?

[Drunken Irishman]

37. Babe.

[Odin2005]

42. Lady is archaic?

I use it all the time. then again, i grew up in a rural area and was taught to be polite.

I see no problem with "gal"

[Captain Hilts]

47. 'Lady' is used as a substitute for 'woman' and they are not like terms.

'Lady' goes with 'gentleman' and 'woman' with 'man'.

So, it's incorrect - and presumptuous - to use 'lady' with 'man', as so many advertisements do.

'Lady' is a well-behaved 'woman'.

Men are not expected to be 'gentlemen' with the frequency that 'women' are expected to be 'ladies'.

I agree that on a one on one or personal level, lady is the polite form. I use it often - but I also use 'gentleman'.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

43. If you want my attention...

..."My worshipful goddess" should suffice.

[Bucky]

44. Would "strumpet" be too situation specific?

[Captain Hilts]

48. Do you think this comment helps the conversation? This fellow asked a good question. nt

[Bucky]

71. Lighten up, friend, it was a joke. I think they're allowed in the Lounge.

nt

[bluesbassman]

45. Bird. Although you'll have to develop a British accent to pull it off.

:)

[NMDemDist2]

46. i use 'woman' as in "this woman at work today...."

or you could just say 'Sue said the funniest thing today'

[kentauros]

50. How about "Master"?

:P

[Mari333]

51. well, as an almost 60 yr old woman

when I go into a restaurant with a group of women, I like to be called 'ladies'. Thats just me, of course.
"would you like a menu, ladies?"

I dont like 'girls' or 'gals'. If the waitress is my age, and someone I know, she is also allowed to say "which one of you old broads would like a menu?"

But thats only if shes my age and I know her.

Ladies , imo, is what I like to hear.

or ma'am.


girls and gals makes me think of myself sitting in a nursing home in a wheelchair with a bow in my hair eating jello and watching Lawrence Welk .

[Captain Hilts]

55. Yes, in that circumstance, I like 'ladies' too. But it was funny. One time I was eating...

at a restaurant in Rockefeller Center. Or right near by. And there was a ladies lunch at the table next to us. All of them clearly over 70. One had to leave early and as she left, she said, "I'll be seeing you guys."

It's a Northern thing.

[Shell Beau]

53. Ho works well. As in "this ho I work with"...

Ok, I surely kid, but why doesn't woman work? You could always say "this person I work with", and if she must ask if it is a he or she then you can tell her. :shrug: I personally say "this girl I work with". Doesn't bother me, but hell yeah for you caring!! :thumbsup: I am giving my husband your number as soon as you give it to me! ;) lol, no really my husband would do the same as you!

[Texasgal]

54. I obviously don't have a problem with it!

:)

[EndersDame]

56. Chica!

[Odin2005]

57. LOL, I love using that!

:rofl:

[snailly]

58. Please just say "woman"

Never call a grown woman "girl" or "gal". It's insulting. If you keep referring to women as women it will become natural and you won't have this problem.

Try it. You'll like it.

[ZombieHorde]

59. I use woman, lady, or chick for adult human females.

I will use girl for teenage females at my university.

[rcrush]

60. Sweet Cheeks!

[Sky Masterson]

61. They love to be called "Skirts"

Or cutesy names Like "Princess"
:sarcasm:

[Orrex]

65. Or "Kitten"

[LostInAnomie]

62. Dame or broad usually get a reaction.

I don't know if it's the one you're looking for, but it will get one.

[kedrys]

63. Dudette

That way, if you accidentally call a female "dude", you can recover smoothly.

And remember to never call chicks "broads". :P

[seabeyond]

66. not girl, not woman i use gal and guys for men/boys. dudette. nt

[bif]

68. Broad?

[pitohui]

69. "gal" is hick, but "dude" is ok? alrighty then...

"gal" is too midwestern maybe, but "dudes" and "chicks" are too california/young

i just don't see what's wrong with "girl"

when you're trying to be PC and using more formal language, then it's back to "woman" and "man" but informal speech nothing wrong w. "girl" and "guy"

i find "lady" offensive, too many years of hearing abt "young ladies" when i was younger -- and trust me i'm not the only one

if your wife is truly offended by girl, this really only leaves woman

[quakerboy]

73. Just avoid situations in which this may occur.

problem solved. Lets all have some lunch, I am hungry

[whistler162]

74. Broad....

i.e..... Anne Richards and Molly Ivins where broads.

[Captain Hilts]

77. That was often used as a sincere compliment. That meaning is kind of lost now. But, I understand

its meaning.

Betty Bacall.
Katharine Hepburn.
Ava Gardner.
Eleanor Roosevelt.

Women who all knew how to change a tire. Not helpless twits. Broads all.

[Rhythm]

75. I casually refer to my female friends as either "Hip-chick" or "chica"

Well, all of them except for my better half, who is always either "Sweetheart" or "Beautiful".

[Iggo]

76. The kids are starting to use 'dude' as gender neutral.

Language is invented by children, so I think I'm gonna follow them down this road.