so my stepdad died yesterday

[backwoodsbob]

need help on how to help my mom.Never dealt with a death as a basically handling it all person before.

I assume I need to take insurance policy and location of grave plot with us to funeral home.

After that is the part I need to know.

They were married 25 years..she gets survivor benefits I assume but how do i go about filing..just all this stuff..I've never done this..any help would be appreciated

[backwoodsbob]

1. btw

hospice is taking care of the DC and the announcement in the paper.

Funeral home has already called insurance.

I guess I need to get ahold of ss for surviver benefits...anything I'm missing?

[murielm99]

2. I am sorry for your loss.

I think you are covering it pretty well.

Do they have a pastor or spiritual adviser? Sometimes those people can help you if you think you have not covered all the bases. It can be pretty overwhelming.

[backwoodsbob]

3. not religious at all

lets see.Filed paperwork with the newspaper in the last hour.Hospice didn't do the newspaper

This shit's a lot of work.

hospice took care of a lot of the official shit thankfully.

Taking her to the funeral home this morning to arrange that.

I hate this shit

[Mopar151]

4. When Dad went

The funeral director was very helpful. And several folks I know were well taken care of at Social Security.

[Bertha Venation]

5. I'm very sorry, Bob

I wish I had any advice for you, some way to ease the workload you face. All I can do is send you good vibes.

[mulsh]

6. I'm sorry for your loss

I've gone through this with both my parents and a couple of friends.

Did your step father leave a will? If so contact the estate attorney. This will save you a lot of time and effort. Settling your step father's affairs may take a year or so or it could be as simple as getting an attorney involved, strange as that may sound.

If he didn't leave a will you're heading in the right direction. try to find any insurance and retirement benefit info he may have left. Try to find an attorney who deals with wills a probate. I'm speaking from the unenviable perspective of not being able to do this in 2 cases. The work was overwhelming.

oh and here's a little detail people don't like to think of, get at least 5 - 10 certified copies of the death certificate. The funeral home can help you with that. Your mother will need them when she deals with government and corporate entities.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

7. I'm sorry for your loss backwoodsbob

I've gone through this with my dad and sister. I went to the Social Security office to find out what paper work I would need to get survivor benefits for my sister's son. They already had it in their computer system that she was deceased but they wanted several forms so I made an appointment to come back with the forms and everything went smoothly.

Somebody said down thread to lean on the funeral director...good advice. They will be very helpful to you in regards to paperwork you will need.

Sending good vibes to you and your mom.

[applegrove]

8. Sorry for your loss.

[Kali]

9. don't get conned by the funeral home

VERY expensive - there ARE alternatives, but don't expect conventional funeral homes to give you that info.

[flying_wahini]

10. yes !!! just went through this with my Mom in January

There are federal laws to protect consumers. Did you know that you don't have to buy their caskets... (overpriced by at least 6 to $10 thousand. and did you know that you can buy caskets online at CostCo and they deliver free ! and in time for your funeral. ground freight within 24 hours. I know it sounds "cheap" but do your shopping and you will learn a lot.

We did this with my Mom's and her's was MUCH nicer than the ones at the funeral home and saved us $8 grand. We got a "name" brand, top of the line casket... go shop online if you have time.... Also,
wish I had done the flowers with CostCo too... got screwed big time at a nice, conventional florist in town.
Do not buy your flowers from the funeral home.. they are at least 2 to 3 times the price of regular florists.

And whatever you do, get at LEAST a dozen death certificates. You will need "originals" for everything.
Also the funeral home says that they will do the obituary, we didn't know that it cost US $150 bucks for them to email it in.
It would have been a lot cheaper for us to do it - but we were stressed and felt rushed. They saw us coming.....

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

11. If you have some money and lawyer you trust

they could cut through a lot of the crap.......... :shrug:

[emilyg]

12. I'm sorry.

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. I am so very sorry :^(

[UrbScotty]

14. Can't think of advice, but sending some good vibes your way

:hug: