So how would you deal with having friends who are so obvioulsy

[clyrc]

less fortunate than you are? I live in the United Arab Emirates, and extraordinarily rich country with lots of people who have very little. I live somewhere in the middle, doing well enough that I know exactly how lucky I am. My closest friends here are from Pakistan, Kenya and Egypt. I now know that I was incredibly lucky to take my education for granted, along with a thousand other advantages I had growing up. My friend from Pakistan spent most of his life struggling to get an education, and my friend from Kenya had to be sent away from home, an experience she hated, to get even a half way decent education. My friend from Egypt had life a little easier, economically at least, but she was, by custom and law, absolutely under her father's control until she got married. All three of these people are smart, ambitious, talented people in their own ways.

So how am I supposed to feel about this? I have heard people speak sneeringly about liberal guilt, but how am I supposed to feel when I know that through no effort on my part, I was born with more advantages
than most people on the globe? I'm in a position where being lucky makes me feel guilty and even depressed sometimes.

[LynzM]

1. My thoughts...

You are leaps and bounds ahead of so many just by recognizing it. Are you close enough with these friends that you could talk to them about it? Just being honest with them that knowing them has given you the chance to widen your perspective might be a good start. As you say, through no effort or fault of your own... Also, you can look at what you can do to even those imbalances, through volunteering, or donating, or raising awareness in others... :)

[clyrc]

2. I do what I can, but it seems to be so little

I do talk to my friends about this, but it is harder than you might think not to sound condescending and clueless. It is simply strange to say "I am luckier than you and I know it and I feel bad for you because of it."

[snagglepuss]

4. What strikes me is that you are sensitive to others' feelings and you have

friends from different economic classes. Both are admirable qualities that money can't buy. Alot of people in your position would simply avoid such unconfortable social situations. That you don't take the easier route of hanging with people just like you says alot about your character. And character is not something money can buy.

Although you may be luckier than your friends, I can assure you that they are luckier than many people back in their respective countries. And given that I hope they feel grateful that their lives are better than people in their home countries and are aware that many are not so fortunate. If they only compare themselves with you, it doesn't say much about their character.

The best thing to do is voice your gratitude of your good fortune and work at being a positive force. If you continue to feel guilty or depressed you might very easily start feeling resentful and avoid people and/or situations which spark such guilt.

[clyrc]

6. I never thought of it quite that way

and that may be why they don't seem to resent me more than they do. Thanks for pointing this out!

[clyrc]

3. Oh and thanks for responding LynzM

I'm much more blunt than diplomatic when I speak, so talking things over is a kind of risky thing for me!

[demmiblue]

5. Let that part be...

the most important thing, the most priceless thing, is your friendships with these people. All the rest is just window dressing.

:hug:

[clyrc]

7. My friendship with these people is priceless

I have learned more from them than I could put in several books. I hope they have learned a few things from me!

[JCMach1]

8. Hey, you forgot your husband who grew up poor...

Your family was much better off than mine!

[clyrc]

9. Well, you had easy access to education

I know you had to work hard, but you still had advantages over our friends.

[JCMach1]

10. True, free public schools are something Americans take for granted!