I just saw my dad's will, and it makes me wonder if he committed suicide.

[Bertha Venation]

My dad died when his small plane crashed January 10, 2008.

His will was dated December 4, 2007.

I wonder.

[Flaxbee]

1. Any reason to think that other than the timing?

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

4. Yeah

I speak without bitterness -- I'm over it.

He deserted us when I was two. Our mother was a bipolar monster who screamed at us (my sisters and me) constantly and beat us. She married a man who molested me. My dad left her because -- he told me many years ago -- she was a lousy housekeeper, and she screwed all his friends while he was at work. The former -- well, to leave a woman and your three tiny children for that reason is pathetic. The latter -- true or not, why would you tell the woman's daughter this?

He was painfully introverted. I don't believe that anyone in his life knew what went on inside, not even his wife. But I do know that he was tormented with guilt and grief for having deserted us to that kind of life. I know it for two reasons: First, when I told him what my stepfather had done to me, I thought he was going to have a stroke, or at least vomit. His grief was palpable. Second, when I was in a psychiatric hospital, he wrote me a letter with copies to my sisters that basically said "I am worthless and I am sorry I screwed you all for life."

So yeah, there are other reasons to believe he would've killed himself.

Oh, yes, one other thing: his wife is an unbearable, embittered shrew.

[Flaxbee]

8. OK.

First, :hug: I know you're over it, but still.

Cumulative grief could have played a part, but if he made it to 68 carrying the grief, maybe not.

Maybe he was up there, flying and enjoying life, and it could have been more spontaneous. Memories flood back sometimes - and are overwhelming. That, plus living with a very difficult woman for a second (?) wife might have just been too much at the moment.

I would wonder, too.

[hippywife]

9. I'm so sorry for all you've been thru, darlin'.

No one should have to endure such a life. I'm so happy you have such wonderful love in your life now. :hug:

Hey, I live in OK! :hi:

[NewJeffCT]

2. how old was he at the time?

while I can see how it would make one wonder, if you hadn't been suspicious before, i don't think the dates would cause that now, almost 2 years alter.

I'm sorry for your loss, by the way.

[Bertha Venation]

5. He was 68 when he died.

I had been suspicious from the moment I heard. :shrug:

Thank you, NewJeff.

[NewJeffCT]

10. it changes things if you're suspicious

but, is crashing one's plane (or car) a common method of suicide? Did he have any health issues - meaning, could he have had a heart attack or stroke or similar? Maybe his wife knew he had health issues and had him change/update the will?

However, I can't even begin to know your situation and his, so I don't think it would be fair for me to speculate one way or the other.

[hippywife]

3. PM to you, sweetie.

:hug:

[stray cat]

6. Usually there is a waiting period before they will pay for an accident - was there one?

[Bertha Venation]

7. I don't know.

His wife was his sole beneficiary, and she never found it necessary to communicate with us anything about our father's arrangements after death. We only needed his will because there are some mineral rights in question at our grandmother's old home place in Oklahoma, but we had to go to the county to get a copy of it. :eyes: