You Live in New England

[Renew Deal]

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...
"Forget Rednecks ......."

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in New England .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England .

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England .

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,you live in New England

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England .

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England .

If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England .

If you think everyone else has a funny accent, you live in New England

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends & others, you live or have lived in New England .

[debbierlus]

1. I have lived in New England all my life

And, these are all spot on!

[brendan120678]

3. Especially...

"If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England ."

I travel Interstate 84 from Waterbury, CT to Farmington, CT daily. The speed limit never goes above 55 in that stretch, but if you're doing anything less than 70 you had better be in the slow lane.

[madinmaryland]

13. That is spot on!

I used to live in Watertown and the drive either to Danbury or up to Farmington is crazy. I worked in Farmington for a couple of years in the 80's.

[TheMightyFavog]

2. You can actually use this same list for Wisconsin

All except the funny accent one.

[NewJeffCT]

4. As a lifelong New Englander, that list is pretty accurate

especially the Dunkin Donuts on every corner.

[lukasahero]

5. One quibble

The 4 seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter and black fly.

Life-long New Englander here. :hi:

[Arugula Latte]

9. Isn't there a "mud" season somewhere in there, too?

:)

[lukasahero]

11. LOL - yeah, kind of

but it's really just part of 'still winter'. I think they call it spring elsewhere in the country. ;)

We actually had summer this year - August 8th - good times. :rofl:

[Mopar151]

6. Couple more

Never tailgate a New Englander - they may stop ANYWHERE on the road to check out the contents of a yard sale.

Pay attention while you drive - leaving the road surface will tell you why they call it "The Granite State" or "The Pine Tree State"!

Rhode Island = Mass. roads with Vt. cars.

I know I'm in Brockton when any corner in the city has: A donut shop, a Catholic church, or a bar. I asked my freind who grew up there whether the steel shutters on the bar windows were there to keep the bad guys out or in....He said "Yes".

If you've ever built an engine in the living room - you race in New England.

[krispos42]

7. If your state animal is the sawhorse, you live in New England

If you state motto is "Road work 500 feet", you live in New England




In Minnesota they're nice enough to give you 12 miles of warning for 10 miles of road construction... :-)

[sarge43]

17. "Road work 500 Ft"

Frost Heaves 2 Miles

Hiram's southern cousin (driving his low rider), "Hi, what's this here frost heaves shit?"
BANG!! Clang, clang, clang. "You jist met one, Billy. Jake Pibidee should get you back on the rud for a thou or so."

[DFW]

8. I lived in New England briefly, but never met anyone who hit some poor deer repeatedly

What kind of cruel New Englanders do you hang out with anyway? Most of the ones I know are rather mellow.

Hitting some poor animal more than once, I think you're confusing Vermont with Idaho.

:P

[Arugula Latte]

10. If your neighbor talks like the Pepperidge Farm voiceover guy

you live in New England. Specifically, Maine.

But what do I know, I've only visited New England (well, I did live in Cambridge, Mass. one fun summer). :)

[Brigid]

12. I wonder what Jeff Foxworthy would say about the Midwest.

:)

[trof]

14. Wicked good.

;-)

[sarge43]

15. You're in New England if you

drive around a curve and see two pickups parked in the middle of the rud (that's NE for road) and the drivers are talking to one another. That's not an accident. It's the Selectmen planning the next town meetin'. If you stop your pickup and join them, you are New England.

know people who select birthday, anniversary, graduation gifts at the local recycling center, ie dump and the recipitants think nothing of it. If most of your equipment and furnishings are from the recycling center, you are New England.

see every other pickup with a Black Labrador in the passenger seat. If taking your Black Lab to the recycling center to meet and greet other Labs is the high point of your social week, you are NE.

see signs labeled Turkey Registration Center. If you find nothing strange or funny about this, well, you know.

except for the freeways, see few, if any, directional signs and what few you see are half hidden in clumps of golden rod. If you don't need directional signs, you've come home, Hiram.

[Mopar151]

18. One of the busiest, most notorious roads in New England

is universally referred to as "Route 128" - by traffic reporters, cops, 'n everybody. For the busiest 40 miles or so, it is posted and signed as I-95 - not a '128" sign to be seen. In Braintree, it is possible to be driving simultaneously on I-93 South and I-95 North. Why do you think that the truck drivin' classic "Give me 40 acres" is about Boston roads?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDxVJ471hyg
The other classic treatise on New England roads - with a nice video that will give you chills if you've ever driven on ice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aFzfDv2hz0

[sarge43]

19. I'll see you and raise with The Kanc

US 112 between Lincoln and Conway NH. If the moose and deer wandering out of the National Forest don't make things interesting, the tourists parked in the middle of the road taking pics of the Notch foliage sure will. Almost forgot, many sections no verge. It's straight up and straight down on both sides of the road, no wiggle room at all. That's best conditions.

The Kanc is just south of Mt (worst weather in the world) Washington, so winter evening, switch back curves, 10% plus grades, winds 40mph and better, the blizzard up on Wash is coming your way and it's changing to sleet. We're talking a pucker factor here that sucks your undies right up into the anal cavity.

[Mopar151]

21. If you're not nervous yet - My friend Butch

Is the NHDOT "Patrolman" on the Kank all winter! Drives it every night, in a pickup with a sander. Butch sez you can hang the tail "Way out there" when the sander is full.

Here's a ride-along video of Butch's summer hobby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq3hqtfIUEA

That's right - the big orange pickup that is coming at you on a winter night on the Kank is driven by the same guy.

[Mopar151]

22. If you're not nervous yet - My friend Butch

Is the NHDOT "Patrolman" on the Kank all winter! Drives it every night, in a pickup with a sander. Butch sez you can hang the tail "Way out there" when the sander is full.

Here's a ride-along video of Butch's summer hobby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq3hqtfIUEA

That's right - the big orange pickup that is coming at you on a winter night on the Kank is driven by the same guy.

[friendly_iconoclast]

23. Most of 128 got de-designated by that wanker Romney

Still, it's an easy way to separate the locals from the furriners.

Don't forget being on US 1 South AND I-95 North at the same time between Canton and Dedham!

[graywarrior]

16. True true true, every one of them

[Xipe Totec]

20. Guilty!

All of them!

:rofl:

[qnr]

24. So true. Of course, at the moment, I live in Texas, but still.... n/t