This is a poem or whatever I wrote about my dog philboy in 2001.

[LeftyFingerPop]

There was a french fry
Of the McDonald's variety
That laid on the ground
On the property of Dixie the old neighbor dog
Four inches from the back fence
As the crow flies

Said french fry
Was swarmed with ants
Numbering ten thousand strong
In the sweltering summer sun

The scent of the french fry
Was discovered by philboy
Who was overwhelmed with desire
To eat the fry
Which caused philboy to
Begin a horrible and relentless pursuit
By sticking his stupid nose
And stretching his paw
Through the property fence

His mission was clear
To eat the fry
At any cost
Despite repeated warnings
From the great one called Daddy
Even risking an appendage
Being caught
In the sharp fence holes

After a full half hour
Of this nonsense
Daddy erected the temporary plastic white fence
Which formed a semi-circle
Against the permanent back fence
In hopes of distancing
The enticing aroma
Of the french fry
From philboy

After one moment of raw instinct
philboy knew his solution
"I must jump inside the semi-circle"
Formed between the permanent fence
And the temporary fence
In order to continue his single minded pursuit
Of the ant covered fry

With the useless philboy
Now trapped between the fences
Unable to harbor the fry
Nor able to free himself from his horrible fence trap
He decided to
Continue his fruitless pursuit
Of the disgusting fry

Faced with diminishing options
Daddy traveled 100 feet to the deck
To retrieve the fly swatter
And then Daddy
Climbed inside the fence semi-circle
With philboy
In an attempt to use the fly swatter
To flick the fry
Out of philboy's scent range

Due to the limited length of the swatter
Daddy toiled and reached and toiled
To flick the fry
Further into the yard of neighbor dog dixie
With philboy barking and growling
Inside the semi-circle
Due to the flicking motion
Of the fly swatter

The ant covered french fry
Was finally flicked out of scent range
But only after
The armpit of Daddy
Became swollen, injured and sore
From stretching over the fence

THE END

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

1. Will you marry me?

:rofl:

What a story (said in a Yakoff Smirnoff voice)

[Heidi]

3. YES!

Emphatically, YES!

Wait. You didn't mean that for _me_, did you? :yoiks:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

4. Not really but you're pretty cute too with those big lips of yours

and gay marriage is legal here in Germany. So come on down, you're the next contestant on the Love Is Right! Bob Barker is not the host, thankfully. :P

[Heidi]

2. You had me at "swollen."

Thanks a lot for the (exceedingly) slow burn, QUEENS.