What do you people think about older women i.e. me, with long hair?

[crim son]

My hairdresser keeps rolling her eyes every time I say, "Just a trim, please," and has mentioned jokingly what an exciting day it will be when I decided to cut my hair off. It is very long in back but I almost always wear it up. I don't have a lovely jawline or elegant anything that might work with a funky short cut so I keep the long hair. What do you think? Is it a crime to have longer than chin-length hair if you're over forty? My grandmother died at 97 with her hair long, past her shoulders; she always wore it up too and it looked pretty. So I thought.

[PVnRT]

1. No

[azmouse]

2. You should wear your hair in whatever way it makes you happy!

I've always looked better with shorter hair... just about shoulder length.
Any longer and my hair looks limp on top and bushy at the bottom.

Edited to add: I'm 48.

[mikeytherat]

3. I won't disclose Mrs. Rat's age (it does meet your over-40 criterion),

and she has very long, very full, very wavy hair.

mikey_the_rat

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

4. It depends

If you have full, thick hair, then grow old with it. If your hair is thinning as you age, and it is apparent more with longer hair by the way, you should consider a new hairdo.

My Great grandmother had a Cherokee head of hair she wore in a long braid down her back until she was in her 90's. I'm getting a hair cut next week. Not so lucky in that department.

There is a reason why older women tend to have short hair.

At least we don't go completely bald like the guys.

edited to delete an extra a.

[crim son]

18. I have tons of hair.

And it's healthy, shiny, wavy. No fuzz or anything like that, which is why I haven't been dying to cut it all off. I have a sister who has lost a lot of hair and you're right, she looks way better when it's shoulder or chin length than long.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

22. If you have thick hair

keep it as long as you want. Lucky you.

[debbierlus]

39. Long hair can weigh your face down

Before you jump on me, I think many women over 40 and way beyond look lovely with longer hair and everyone should wear it as they please.

However, there is some reason as to wearing it short as you age. Gravity takes hold on the skin and long hair (especially without side layers) can make you look older and drawn. Again, NOT EVERYONE.

[Maraya1969]

49. I agree. I'm 51 and have long auburn, (ok grey with Loreal on it) hair but

if I go too long without a hair cut it looks heavy and yes it pulls my face down. I just got it cut to a little below shoulder length but the big thing is she cut a lot of layers that I dearly needed. I live in Florida and I want to put my hair up when it's hot so I make sure it is long enough for that. But I feel like I lost a pound when I got out of the salon.

My grandmother was the same as many here. Never cut her hair that went way down her back. She braided it and kept it up until she died at 92.

[Coventina]

5. Just as long as you don't wear a track suit, wear your hair however you want!

I've never heard of there being a problem with women having long hair after 40. I guess I didn't get the phone call on my 40th birthday!

:shrug:

[crim son]

19. I can't wear my sky blue velour track suit?

Awwwwwwwwww... :rofl:

[graywarrior]

6. Hell, I'm way older than you are and my hair is long

Your hair looks great on you. Don't let her shame you. Find someone who gets it. Life isn't What Not To Wear.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i dont think its an age thing. hairdressers dont like to just trim long hair

they have been convincing me to cut my hair off since i was 19

[Rambis]

8. Sadly hair threads are irrelevant to me now

:cry:

[fizzgig]

9. my mom's older than you and wears her hair nearly to her waist

do what makes you happy

[TK421]

10. Change hairdressers and remind them how freaking gorgeous you are

not a crime to have long hair....it looks great on you! ;)

besides...the Marcy Darcy look ( as I understand it ) died out quite some time ago

[Boojatta]

11. You insulted your hair.

Your hair is longer, not "long." Turn it around: "what do people here think about old women with longer hair?" It doesn't feel good when the shoe is on the other foot, does it?

[elocs]

12. Well maintained long hair is beautiful, and if you like it, keep it. It's your hair.

I think that too often when women get older they tend to cut their hair short simply because it is easier to care for, regardless of whether they look better with short hair or not. It seems to be a sign of just giving up.

David Crosby said it best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSOxQsqwem8

[Arugula Latte]

13. I'm 43 & have longish shoulder-length hair.

I would like to try a bob but I know what has happened in the past when I go shorter -- my hair just gets too poofy. I have a lot of hair and I find that keeping it longer keeps a little weight on it to get it to be a little flatter. (I know most people want more body in their hair -- I want mine to be sleeker and less poofy!).

[madmom]

64. I have the same problem, with VERY naturally curly hair, if it's short it tends

to be kinky, the length helps with the curls.

[Missy Vixen]

14. I'm over 45 with longish hair

Mine's below shoulder length, thick, wavy and fine.

I'll wear it this way till I'm tired of it. If others don't think it's appropriate, that's their problem.

[noamnety]

15. I'd find a new hair dresser.

It's clear they aren't satisfied with the cut they are giving you.
It's also in their best financial interest to convince you to get short hair - short hair requires more maintenance cuts.

As for this: "Is it a crime to have longer than chin-length hair if you're over forty?"

To some degree when society pushes that notion, what they're really saying is "it's a crime for women over 40 to act like a sexual feminine being." We're expected (required) to cut our hair so we can act appropriately matronly. Screw that.

Just for fun: emmy lou harris:

[Why Syzygy]

36. That is it exactly!

I'm in the same dilemma, sort of. Trying to come to a hair decision.

I happened to remember last night that my great grandmother had hair down to her waist. We only saw it at night when she brushed it out though.

To some degree when society pushes that notion, what they're really saying is "it's a crime for women over 40 to act like a sexual feminine being." We're expected (required) to cut our hair so we can act appropriately matronly. Screw that.

You make a very good point.

[Pithlet]

51. She is gorgeous.

I would kill for her silver locks.

[poiuytsister]

68. Poiuyt compares my hair to Emmy Lou,

guaranteeing I will leave it long and silver for quite a while. BTW, our mom always told me "a lady of a certain age" either keeps her hair short or up. I am turning 59 in 2 weeks and always leave mine down like the old hippie that I am.

Peace

[SoCalDem]

73. everyone gets to degfine "of a certain age", themselves

That's the beauty of it :)

When you are young, "of a certain age" may be 40, but once you reach 40, "of a certain age" becomes 70 :) etc:)

[poiuytsister]

78. Middle aged

is 10 years older than what ever age I am now!

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

16. As a high schooler

I had a job delivering pizzas. The woman that worked in the kitchen told me once women get past a certain age, long hair makes them look like a witch. Damned if that image doesn't get into my mind when I see a women of a certain age with hair down her back.......... :shrug: It's been 45 years since I've had that job! :)

[Bunny]

20. I started dating the former Mr. Bunny when I was 20 years old.

My hair was short-ish. After a period of time, he told me that short hair made me look fat. That was 31 years ago, and I've worn my hair longer ever since. It's funny how a comment can stay in your head for so many years, isn't it?

[livetohike]

17. I cut mine this summer - 11 inches of it and donated it

But it's still long :-). I'm 57, btw. I think you should wear your hair whatever length makes you happy. This pic was taken yesterday:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

21. I say wear it however it makes you happy

I'm 47 and am growing out my hair - it's shoulder length now. Now if only my bangs would grow just a tad longer so I could tuck them behind my ears, I'd be set. Of course, my hair is extremely fine and thinning, but I have to work with what I have.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

23. My dear crim son!

I think you look great with your hair the length it is!

Hell, girl, I'm 65, and my hair's longer than it's been in decades!

My husband loves it, I love it and I think it looks great on me!

Do. Whatever. You. Want!

:hug:

[kimmerspixelated]

72. California Peggy's Right!

WOMEN SHOULD BE THEMSELVES!

My hair is long, too, and I'm in my early 50's!

[jonnyblitz]

24. I never heard this rule before. It must be a Maine thing. nt

[Chan790]

25. I don't have a hard and fast opinion...

it's my observation though that when a hairdresser harps on something like that, it's an unsubtle personal hint.

Mine tells me I should get a crew-cut...he thinks I'm unaware that I'm balding rapidly. I simply don't care and will never be one of those guys who cuts their hair to near-shaved to hide my MPB. It's collar length and it's staying that way.

[crim son]

27. My hairdresser is a personal acquaintance and definitely suffers

from some sort of personality disorder. I've known her family for years and when we talk politics, boyfriends or child-rearing I have to ignore most of her jabs because I know she can't help it... I think she views being opinionated as a strength and doesn't realize how bitchy she seems to be. But with respect to hair I was beginning to wonder. My mother always wanted to cut my hair too, and one day when I was nine, she did, into a hideous little pixie cut. I didn't get over it for a year.

[debbierlus]

38. Post a pic...we could give suggestions if YOU are looking for a change

If you are happy with your hair, they just keep it as is.

[Captain Hilts]

26. It's perfectly natural. Go for it. Katharine Hepburn and Betty Bacall did okay with it as Old Girls

You can too.

[Cant trust em]

28. I'm 29. My opinion is that if it looks good, I highly recommend keeping it.

There are too many women out there with the short haircut.

[mentalsolstice]

29. I hate the whole "age-appropriate" thing

My mom is into that, she thinks if you're beyond a certain age you're consigned to certain clothes and hairstyles. She likes my hair, I wear it short, but not because of my age. I'm short and slender so I can wear the boyish Twiggy look, without looking like I'm doing it because of my age. My hair is thick, so I can also wear it long. However, I hear her sigh when it comes to my clothing...I don't wear things too short or revealing...my mom just has the idea that everything should be matchy-matchy, elastic waist and all, and no low-to-mid-rise jeans.

Do whatever makes YOU feel good.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

30. I have long hair, just because I FEEL like a long-haired person,

and I'm probably older than you.

However, I don't wear it loose anymore, because it's stick straight unless I perm it. I wear it tied back or up, which is much more low-maintenance than anything I had to do when my hair was chin-length.

[Kali]

31. dye it blue and get a helmut cut!

who cares what somebody who might profit from a high maintenance "do" thinks? Wear your hair however you like.

signed,
an old woman with childish hair (very long pony/pigtails, part in the middle)

[justabob]

32. I am struggling with the same question

I have always had long, thick hair. The shortest it has ever been is just below the ear. Right now it is around my shoulder blades One thing I don't understand though.... people say, "oh you have great hair!" then they promptly tell me I should cut it super short. WTF? Which is it? :)

[GOPisEvil]

33. Don't let others define you.

If you like your long hair, keep it. :)

As far as preference, I look at the entirety of someone. Some people look great with short hair, some people don't.

[debbierlus]

34. Wear it how you feel most attractive...I cut my long hair to short about three years ago

I wore long hair all my life, and I choose to cut it. Just wanted a change. I loved my long hair and sometimes miss it. However, I have to admit that the shorter hair does make me look younger.

[elshiva]

35. I like your hair. If you want to wear it long, wear it long.

:hug: It shouldn't be an old or young issue, but a comfort issue. How are you?

[Capn Sunshine]

37. I have a theory about that.

I think that ALL hairdressers are progammed in school that long hair is bad, because, let's face it, it minimizes visits to the hairdresser. Plus, I think they are programmed to fervently believe that over 40 a woman should not have long hair.

This is because the industry actually hates women, and is dedicated to undermining what little self confidence they have left after being barraged since age 5 by the cosmetics industry ( whose CEOs are for the most part, fat old white guys). As a part of this hatred, they intentionally style their customers to be less appealing to the opposite sex. Because not one over 40 guy I know likes short hair on his spouse.

It's an abusive relationship. They all go back for more.

So resist! More power to you! Guys dig it!
At least, I do. :hi:

ps this thread is useless without pictures.

[janx]

77. You're right Capn!

My (former) hairdresser has his own shop. He charges $70.00 for a cut! Most of his clients are women in their sixties who show up regularly to get their short hair trimmed/dyed. Back in the days when I could afford him, I visited him twice a year for a cut--and ahead of the holidays I got some highlights. On the visit with the cut plus the highlights and tip, it cost me $200.00! But he has these older women coming in--one of them is a good friend of mine--for a cut and hair color once every month or two!

The guy is GOOD at what he does (and I like him personally), but honestly...

"...dedicated to undermining what little self confidence they have left after being barraged since age 5 by the cosmetics industry ..."

EXACTLY.

My brother and sister-in-law are both in their 50s, and my brother still loves his wife's long hair. ;-)

[applegrove]

40. Could your hair dresser be interested in creating more business for herself/himself?

Short hair needs more cuts.

[ThomCat]

41. Never listen to a stylist who wants you to cut your hair.

They make their money from frequent visits and from getting you to buy the extras.

You won't be there often with long hair. You certainly won't buy lots of treatments, colors, highlights, perms, textures or whatever if you aren't trying out the short and medium length hairstyles.

If you have long hair, and you like it, then please keep it. :hug:

I think you are beautiful and I love the way your hair looks. There is nothing there that needs changing if you aren't dissatisfied with it.

[ohheckyeah]

42. I have a hairdresser who

definitely doesn't want to cut this older woman's hair short. He knows it's just not me. He's great!

[nolabear]

43. I've had my hair from a just below the chin bob to nearly waist length.

It's white and thick and I enjoyed it all ways. I often did ask what people though, and it seems that men liked it long and women and hairdressers liked it shorter, though they also liked it long. Go with what you like. The great thing about hair is, it can be changed fairly easily.

[Mira]

44. I have not read any of the responses -

here is my opinion.
I cut my light blond waist length hair, that I wore up most of the time, on my thirtieth birthday.
I never looked back in regret.

I do see women with tresses that are gray and long who add years to their looks by not cutting the hair.
I wish they would ask me the question you did.

One does not need a lovely jawline to do oneself the favor to cut hair that is longer than chin length when one is no longer young.

We are strangers to each other, but when you cut it because I advised it, you will thank me.

:rofl:

[Aristus]

45. Mrs. Aristus is 49. She has always had very lovely long, long, Jane Seymour hair.

A few years back, she succumbed to the notion that "older" women should no longer wear their hair long. So she got a sensible short cut. Everybody hated it, herself included. So she's back to the long look. And she looks heavenly.

Wear your hair any way you want, crim son. You'll always look gorgeous, whatever you choose... ;-)

[dysfunctional press]

46. as long as you're not talking about your legs or armpits- i have no problem with it...

otherwise-
yuck! :puke:

[qnr]

47. I don't. Think about it, that is. You should wear your hair however *you* like it n/t

[quakerboy]

48. Virtually all people

regardless of age, gender, or any other distinction should wear their hair long. That's my stand and it has been for many years. There are extraordinarily few people who's appearance is not improved by the addition of long hair.

[proteus_lives]

50. I don't think hair depends on age.

Long or short depends on the person. If you can pull it off, then go for it.

[Common Sense Party]

52. It's not a crime to have it long. It depends on how you think it looks

and what makes you happy.

My wife went to the short hair thing around age 35 or so. I was shocked at first and I missed her long, beautiful hair. But it didn't take me long to love the new short look either. She finds it much easier to manage and style.

Some women make the long hair WORK well past 40. More power to ya!

[sarge43]

53. What several others have said.

Age has nothing to do with it. Do you like it is all that matters. One of the few good things about getting on in years: Don't have to give a rodent's butt what others think; you can wear purple.

[RebelOne]

54. I am 70 years old and have long hair, but I always wear it up.

I would feel really silly if I wore is down and hanging. Plus, it is very fine and I have more control over it when I pin it up.

[old mark]

55. I really hate "old lady" hair cuts - the short, curly puffy looking cuts.

It's your head - wear it how you want it.
Consider going to to a different hairdresser.

mark

[Bertha Venation]

56. Here's my favorite older woman with long hair.

My grandmother. She's gone now. As I grew up she always had short red hair. When I got older I realized she always wore a wig. It wasn't until she went to "the home" that her hair grew out. I thought it was beautiful.

[frogmarch]

57. Style your hair to please yourself,

not other people. If you want long hair, go for it. :thumbsup:

[Deep13]

58. It's a social prejudice.

Long hair is for young women to make them attractive for reproduction purposes. Once a woman is over the hill, she is supposed to stop being a sexual being and a short hair-do reflects that.

My Sweetie is 40 and her hair is down to her shoulders. She's very lovely.

[NJmaverick]

59. It really varies from person to person

pictures help though

[Dora]

60. I'm 40 with long hair.

It's my gift to myself. After a childhood of short boring bobs, and then years of maintaining short, layered hair styles and color jobs, I've finally grown hair long enough to braid or wear up or have ponytails or pigtails and I LOVE IT. Most of the time I wind it up into a very librarianesque knot on the back of my head - it's easy, and it's sexy when I pull out those hairpins to come tumbling down. I have no grey that I've found yet (knock on wood), and I use henna 2-3 times a year for gloss and a tint of red.

I think stylists encourage shorter, more complicated cuts because they require more frequent maintenance visits. It's their job, after all.

It's your hair, do what you like with it.

[Why Syzygy]

61. Plenty of old dudes wear their hair long.

Equality. Ignore old wives tales.

[Arkansas Granny]

62. For years I've been told that I should cut my hair shorter because

long hair supposedly makes you look older. However, I don't like my hair when it's short so I continue to wear it the way I like it and they will just have to look at me with long hair, wrinkles and all.

[pitohui]

63. this older woman says long is better than short

short, esp. very short, hair is best as a frame on perfect eyes in a perfect face with perfect skin

at my age, even with surgery (and i haven't yet had my eyelift surgery anyways), i can't do perfect, so i can't do short hair

your grandmother was right and your hairdresser is wrong -- hair stylists promote SHORT hair because it requires so much maintenance, grow your hair long and all you need is the trim once every six months or once a year (actually i'm sorry to say i get it trimmed even less often than that) -- SHORT hair requires a trim every 3 to 4 weeks -- so to promote short hair is to promote more income

there is nothing wrong with listening to the experts but sometimes the experts have a financial motive in pushing a certain scenario

i've saved a fortune since turning 40 by dying my own hair and letting it go long

enjoy your hair

"some" older women do get very coarse dye-resistant hair as they get older, knock on wood, i haven't experienced that, i would definitely say don't stint on the conditioners...but this would be true whether your hair was short or long -- i see men with short dye-resistant "older" hair, it doesn't look any younger just because it's short, it is what it is

[logosoco]

65. I am 45 and have always worn my hair long...

well, once I was old enough to tell my mom "No more pixie cuts".
Right now it is about to the middle of my back. It's not very thick and the new gray hair seems thicker and curlier, I am liking that. Every once in a while I have my daughter (who is not a hair dresser , she's just good with hair!) trim it to just below my shoulder blades. I had a shoulder injury (and no health care) over 2 years ago and sometimes taking care of long hair is a little harder, but I just can't do the cut-it-all-off thing. I like it long.

On a similar subject, as my son was going through school, most of the boys had short hair, with it sort of spikey on the top. Now he is a senior in HS, and I have noticed a lot of long hair on the boys, even in grade school. This makes me think that the trend happened because of the bad economy. When money is tight, getting a hair cut seems to be harder to fit in the budget!!

[supernova]

66. I'm 47 and I have shoulder length blonde hair

Look a little severe and ill with short hair, so I keep it longer.

[Sequoia]

67. Where I live most older women have long hair and bangs.

I used to have long beautiful black hair but getting older and getting gray hair changed my mind on that. Not to mention how I always twist and braid it and have it stick up everywhere. I thought if I had a perky cut with non-gray hair I'd do better at getting a job by hopefully looking younger. One day I walked in to get my hair cut shorter and the hairdresser asked me if "it was okay with my husband" --- seriously! One day a work a client came in and told me I'd have better luck with guys wanting to help me with my groceries if I had longer hair. Ha, I told him I didn't want guys helping me load my groceries in the car 'cause they might clunk me on the head, push me in the trunk and steal my car...maybe dumb my body on the side of the road. Actually, where I live maybe longer hair would get me the job then I'd just cut it again. But yes, I've heard said older women should grow their hair long and have it lighter. My hair's black basically and I'd look foolish as a blonde.

[Fire Walk With Me]

69. "useless without pics"

[Patiod]

70. Is it gray and stringy? Do you pull it into a tight top ponytail?

If not, then you're probably fine.

Both my brother's wife and my SO's sister are hugely obese, 60+ and have very long, very stringy gray hair that they both wear unwashed and pulled very very tightly into a ponytail on the top of their heads. It's hideous. It sounds harsh, but it's true. They are too old for a thin gray ponytail. All they need is a $12 shoulder length cut at Supercuts. Maybe some Miss Clairol, maybe not - gray can be cool. When you're heavy, a tight ponytail is NOT a good look. A nice, loose bun always looks good. I keep mine long enough to put up, and I use this: http://www.flexi8.com/

A woman I worked with was about 58, and had hair almost to her hips, which she always wore down. I thought she was too old to wear it down all the time, but it might have looked very nice up. I think she might have gotten away with it if she didn't wear clothes from 1975, including thick flesh-colored pantyhose.

[Inchworm]

71. Loverly

That is all

:hug:

[UndertheOcean]

74. Hair dressers are evil , they hate hair .

[madmunchie]

75. All my life I wanted long hair and never had the patience to grow it

Now in my later years, I finally have long hair and I'll be damned if some rule that came from the Doris Day days are going to tell me how to wear my hair. A girlfriend of mine is stuck in her mother's era when "long hair" after your reached a certain age wasn't in and I told her just that. She needs to get out of her mother's era and be in todays day and time. If you want a clue as to what older women are considering acceptable wearing their hair - look to HOLLYWOOD where there are plenty of "older" actresses with LONG HAIR.

Your hairdresser is out of touch with creativity, individuality and the times.

By the way I am over 50 and my hair is just touching my waist and I ride horses and I am learning to draw for the 1st time in my life. Most of my subjects/victims are my grandchildren. I never knew that you could actually learn to draw, I have always thought that you either had the talent or you didn't - I thought that I didn't. Guess what - life keeps going on and you could keep going on, OR you could living your life and let others dictate your life to you.

By the way when she "jokingly" says what an exciting day it will be when you decide to cut your hair off, I'd tell her to get a life, because if she considers excitement getting "your hair" cut off.....well I feel sorry for her.

[janx]

76. I'm almost 52 and had very long hair until last summer. My

mother had long hair in her 50s. We both wore it pulled up most of the time. Even when my mother died at 74, she had shoulder-length hair.

My hairdresser used to say the same thing to me, but most of his clientele consists of women who are even older than I am, and most of them have very short hair. I love my hairdresser but can't afford him during these tough times...

My reason for getting it cut (it's just below chin length and layered) is because I live in the dry southwest! Soon after moving here I noticed that using a hair dryer was killing my hair; it was breaking off all over the place. For awhile I simply abandoned the hair dryer and let my hair air-dry, but as long as it was, that took awhile and meant that I had to get up at least an hour before leaving for work. Sometimes I just french-braided it while it was still wet!

Finally, on a hot day last summer, I went to a local Fantastic Sam's and told the young woman to cut it.

So no, if you're in your forties, there's no reason to cut your hair. There used to be some crazed notions, generations ago, that women over 40 should cut their hair and abandon short sleeves! :rofl: I think they were also supposed to wear "sensible" shoes...

[liberaltrucker]

79. My Mom is 80

She has beautiful gray hair roughly to her tailbone.
I'm 55 and can't recall her styling it any other way.

Do what makes YOU happy, not your hairdresser or anyone else.

:)