Post here and I'll insult you.

[TZ]

I need to brush up on my skillz here. Not in a bad way but a funny way...I have to maintain my position at work as the queen of snark...I figured I can get good practice with you funny peoplez....That and I'm bored! :P

[Debi]

1. Um.....

Alert the mods?? :yoiks:

[TZ]

8. Nice post Favre lover!

:evilgrin:

[cleveramerican]

2. I am a tall skinny Irish Guy

[TZ]

9. Skinny? Go eat a sandwich or something.

Make this short fat girl happy...:P

[Tobin S.]

3. I was abducted by aliens

and given the H1N1 vaccine against my will during a prayer group retreat at a scientology camp in Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico.

[TZ]

10. Hah!

I always knew you were from a different universe, weirdo!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. Ha ha ha. This should be good.

I dare you to say something that doesn't involve Peter Angelos.

[TZ]

11. You are an Art Modell franchise kisser!

A true insult to any native Ohioan!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

16. Oh no. I insulted....Ohio.....

...that means I will be banished from....cornholing.....forever.

(Look it up.)

[TZ]

18. But not from Cowtipping

(though I've never done it!)

[cleveramerican]

79. Ohio is like New Jersey with trees

[Soylent Brice]

5. fire away.

[TZ]

13. Your sigline is giving me a headache.

Quit with the motion already!

[Soylent Brice]

27. it's working....

my plan is working....

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. It's already been that sort of Monday, so let 'er rip!

(donning anti-snark vest)

[TZ]

14. Lets see I'll borrow a page from the good doctor

You actually like the Detroit Redwings?! Yuck!

[Fire Walk With Me]

81. No, you'll have to do much better than that. It has no weight.

[TZ]

96. No weight...just like your stupid

snow flake sig line pic...:P

[Fire Walk With Me]

114. It's not a snow flake. Come on, I know you've got it in you!

[TZ]

115. Alright its stupid crystalized water.

H20 Dihydrogen monoxide. what we are made of us "ugly bags of mostly water"

[Fire Walk With Me]

118. What you mean "us", kemosabe?

I am a lovely bag of mostly water. Snerk...

[LynneSin]

7. I think the line forms to the left for people wanting to insult me

:shrug:

[TZ]

15. You are from Delaware.

Nuff said, credit card lady.

[LynneSin]

19. Home of Vice President Joe Biden

Nuff said!!!

[Dr. Strange]

12. here

[TZ]

17. Where to start hmmm

You are a math nerd AND a big BOOB so to speak....

[Dr. Strange]

20. Yes, so to speak...

[TZ]

21. Only you...

Could find Calculus Porn, you pervert. :rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

22. Find...or write?

:evilgrin:

[KamaAina]

23. Bring. It. On!!!!

:hi:

[TZ]

24. You have a name that is obsolete!

And a distressing tendency to seem to like the Yankee$

[Sky Masterson]

25. Bring it on!

GRRR!!

[TZ]

26. Okay asshole.

You are a LITERAL pain in the ass...:rofl:

[Sky Masterson]

28. Yours,mine,and just about everybodys.

:)

[Rosie1223]

29. I am grossly underwhelmed by your snark abilities.

You need to do better than that to be a Queen of Snark.

[TZ]

31. Who are you to judge me?

I see you have a tabby cat as your avatar. Probably the cats are meowing so loudly you are INCAPABLE of appreciating my brilliant snark abilities!!!

[Rosie1223]

33. Ok, slightly better

Crazy cat lady.... not bad.

[sarge43]

30. Take your best shot, darlin' n/t

[TZ]

32. That whole leaving off the "g" at the end of a word is just plain

Lazy!!

[sarge43]

38. That's it? That's your best shot?

Someone is terribly disappointed with you.

[TZ]

40. Well if you had a less boring screenname

and less uninsulting sigline maybe I could do something better. Not my fault you are too uninteresting to insultf!:P

[sarge43]

42. You aren't trying hard enough.

I've been insulted by pros.

[TZ]

44. You must spend alot of time in GD.....

[sarge43]

78. Indeed.

"Good morning everyone. Isn't it a lovely morning?"

"Hell no! HR666 is still tied up in committee. Don't you care, you putz. A true progressive Democrat would know and call his congressman instead wasting time wishing people a good morning. Traitor!"

You know the rest.

[lightningandsnow]

34. Fire away!

:P

[TZ]

41. You are a Canadian!

And therefore inferior to us Americans...:P

[Iggo]

35. You wouldn't dare!

[TZ]

43. Yeah? Says who?

What are you gonna do to stop me IgEW?

[Bertha Venation]

36. Oh, it's been so long . . .

Hit me!

[TZ]

45. Well since crazy cat lady is no insult to you

You like that boring minor league baseball stuff. Do you think you are gonna find the next Nuke LaLouche by actually taking in playrs?

[Bertha Venation]

102. LOL Who in the hell is Nuke LaLouche?

:hi:

[TZ]

111. The Tim Robbins Character form Bull Durham!

You don't remember that baseball classic?

[Bertha Venation]

126. It has been so long since I've seen that movie . . .

all I remember is Susan Sarandon saying "oh, my" and wishing she were saying it to me.

[taterguy]

37. Make it hurt so good

[TZ]

46. Geez John Cougar is soooo 80's!

Just like that stupid bike riding habit of yours! I mean,who wants to save money and the environment anyway you knee jerk liberal...

[lizziegrace]

39. Knock yourself out

;)

[TZ]

48. You are a menace to appliances everywhere!

I'm glad you live 450 miles away from me;)

[flvegan]

47. Pfft. Do your worst.

[TZ]

49. One question..

What the hell happened to that march to the WS the Red Sux were on? Looks like the Evil Empire is doing that..

[flvegan]

50. They donated it to charity.

They figured it would be nice to give the Yanks an opportunity this century.

[auntAgonist]

51. always glad to help... go for it.

[TZ]

52. You are too much of a goody two shoes

To insult properly;)

[auntAgonist]

54. LOL

Story of my life. :(


:hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

53. I'm not funny at all, so please.

But don't make it to real or I'll cry a little. :P

[TZ]

56. Oh please

How much bandwith have you wasted with your horribly boring photoshops. :P

[Call Me Wesley]

61. That's too real!

:cry:

[kaehele]

55. I live to be insulted

Have at me, TZ, I only know two other OL queens of snark.

Let's see, I have New Balance shoes, three catfaces, not much intrigued by Facebook or Twitter, and think Rachel Maddow is the best thing to happen to serious TV since boiled warts.

[TZ]

58. Not a twit eh?

Well Lets see? Do you cater to your cats? Do you let them run over you like Hitler over France? ( borrowed snark-- one of Symarips more brilliant comebacks)

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

57. Hit me with your best shot

fire away.

[TZ]

59. Good thing I've never met you

I don't think there are any vaccines for NotoriusPIGs.....

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

65. So I'm unstoppable

glad to know.

[TZ]

67. Unless someone invents

A new Oinkment...;)

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

68. Fat chance

of that.

[fNord]

60. this should be easy...

I am still watching the "V" marathon on Sci Fi

[TZ]

66. NERD!

It's SyFy btw...;)

[fNord]

70. fuck that...

it will always be "Sci Fi" to me......

[Arugula Latte]

62. Feel free to insult me ...

but leave my kitties out of it!

:hi:

[TZ]

69. You liberal latte drinker!

I bet you drive a Volvo you elitist!

[Flaxbee]

63. ok, insult! I think we disagree about something about horses,

racing, shows, etc. So, go for it! :D

[TZ]

71. You damned neigh sayer!

You are making me resort to bad puns!

[Flaxbee]

74. oooh, I like it. Clever

points for clever! :thumbsup:

[TK421]

64. Alright...insult me

;)

[TZ]

72. You live in Philly!

BOOOOOO!------the official language of Philly.

[El Supremo]

73. You insult me?

Sacrebleu!

[TZ]

75. You are a douche and your team stinks!

I fart in your general direction!

[ThatsMyBarack]

76. Whatever....

Fire when ready!

[TZ]

77. Your screenname

Is disrespectful-- Thats MISTER Obama to you!!!;)

[ThatsMyBarack]

137. What????

Not PRESIDENT Obama? :wtf: :hi:

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

80. This should be easy....I have very low self-esteem

Should be like shooting fish in a barrel for you.

[TZ]

dupe

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

94. Who the hell are you calling a dupe, you dupe!!!

[TZ]

97. Dork!

(I'd call you a fucking dork, but that insult is reserved for someone else in this thread!)

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

113. Oh, I see....I get the picture...

I'm not good enough for your obscenity-laced tirades, am I? I only get the PG-13 rated version, do I? I suppose I'll have to settle for the pleather whips? Fine. Just fine...

[TZ]

82. Well, you do live in flyover country!

Plus I hate beer and there is a lot of beer in Milwaukee...

[Symarip]

83. Who the fuck hates beer?

That's like hating America. Why do you hate America?

[TZ]

86. STFU

You fucking dork! ( I have been so waiting for an opportunity to use that!). I dislike wine too. I however like Pina Coladas but do not like getting caught in the rain!

[NewJeffCT]

84. Here

you always insult me anyways, so why not again?

:P

[TZ]

87. Oh sure. Make me call you a D and D geek

You are making it too easy Jeff from some small little Eastern state

[Skittles]

85. I WILL KICK YOUR INSULTING ASS TZ

YES INDEED

[TZ]

88. Oh yeah

Like I'm really afraid you are gonna come over the teh internets and hurt me............:hide:

[Skittles]

89. BEWARE!

I DO VIRTUAL BUTT-KICKINGS! SKITTLES EVOLVES WITH THE TIMES!!!

[mcctatas]

90. pffffftttttt

:rofl:

[TZ]

92. Look who's talking!

Your kittehs roll right over you. Drinking your coffee sleeping in your bed...Having kittens at their pleasure....

[BeachBaby]

91. Have at it.

I can hardly wait. :P

[TZ]

93. You are a Philadelphia Sports Fan.

Round here, thats an insult in itself!!!:P

[Pool Hall Ace]

95. Why bother, when I can post in GD and receive multiple insults?

Besides, I'm a vegetarian, and we're perfect!! :P

[TZ]

98. Yeah but at least here we are funny!

Unlike the humorless schlubs in GD. And as for someone who finds 70% of all veggies to be gross...Your food is slimy and disgusting...(well mainly thats for brussel sprouts but you get the picture)

[Pool Hall Ace]

101. Well, it is said that "you are what you eat"

So if you think vegetables are slimy and disgusting, then you are saying that I am slimy and disgusting! :cry:

But you are right about the humorless schlubs in GD. :thumbsup:

[Bucky]

99. I'm pathetic, sick, and emotionally vulnerable. Do your worst, lady... I deserve it.

[TZ]

100. I agree. You are pathetic.

Oh and not funny! :P

[Bucky]

103. I agree...

You definitely need to brush up on your skills. Simply agreeing with someone's negative self assessment isn't really an insult. You got to play off of it, take it in a fresh direction, like "Maybe you wouldn't be so pathetic if you didn't suck so much" or "You're so pathetic, your own dog wouldn't sniff your ass" or "By the way, your dad called--he wants his last name back".

The key to clever insults is to keep it lively, creative, and unpredictable.

[TZ]

104. Who said I was being clever?

I only said I was gonna insult you. Didn't say you were gonna like it, dorkbrain!
I'm not posting this for your entertainment value anyway, stupid but for mine! Now, don't you have some posters in GD to put to sleep?:boring:

[Bucky]

105. By Jove, I think she's got it!

Much better! Brava!!

[Deep13]

106. Have at it, Big Pharma profit-gobbler. nt

[TZ]

107. Shouldn't you be sitting at the bottom of the sea

with the rest of you bottom feeding lawyers? That would be a good start no? Plus you live in Cleveland. I can't insult you any more than that!

As for me, my family identifies with this quote..."You don't live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati!":P

[Deep13]

108. In zeh sea zere is no croo-ell-tee, ...

...only zeh struggle to survive.

I live near Akron, not Cleveland. Please ignore the fact that they are 30 minutes away from each other.

[Brigid]

109. Me first.

You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. :evilgrin:

[TZ]

112. Yo mamma...

when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!

[Brigid]

110. Me first.

You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. :evilgrin:

[jobycom]

116. You do that even when I don't post here.

:P

[TZ]

117. HAHAHA!

I could insult you with my hands tied behind my back you Cowboy lovin, Rush hatin, slacking fool you!

[jobycom]

136. Wow, you insult everyone else...

but you compliment my taste, intellect, and work ethic. :hug:

[TZ]

141. lol

Now all you would need is to be a Bankee$ fan and everyone would know about your "taste" in teams

[jobycom]

150. Well, I'm cheering for them to beat the Fillies.

But that's more of a moral objection to watching pitchers try to bat than any real attachment to the Yankees. Normally I'm a Rangers fan, which means I rarely watch baseball after the first couple of weeks of the season.

[bigwillq]

119. I'll play.

Bring it.

[TZ]

122. You are a bleeping Yankees fan!

I mean how hard is it to root for a team that's won 40 pennants! Talk about bandwagoneering! You don't have the guts to be a NATS fan...

[bigwillq]

125. ha ha!

Nice response! :)

[valerief]

120. Do you like my hair?

[TZ]

123. It's great!

If you want to have a family of birds on your head!

[valerief]

127. How do you think I get it to stand so high?! (chirp). nt

[UrbScotty]

121. Go Phillies!

[TZ]

124. Uh oh. I think you killed the thread..

Can't disagree with that!

[Taverner]

128. Your momma wears combat boots!

[TZ]

129. She wears em

So she doesn't get her feet dirty when she kicks your sorry ass!

[Taverner]

130. Ha!!!! You keel Me!!!!

[zanne]

131. That is so juvenile...

You should be making better use of your time. (Beat that).

[TZ]

132. Not a waste of time

To make sure you inferior people know your places!:P

[Chan790]

133. Insult away...

just remember I give as well as I get. I am a black-belt of snark.

(Also, I'm back in MD to live so I'm in a foul mood forever.)

[TZ]

138. Loser.

Not cause you moved to Maryland (although you not liking it sort of does make you that). You worked as a Starbucks barrista for years. How lame is that?

[Chan790]

148. haha...

You're a big pharma shill AND an apologist for animal-based research. :hide: It's amazing that you don't sleep in a fortified bunker with that track record...I don't think someone could make more enemies on DU if they admitted being the lost Steinbrenner heir and part-owner of the Yankees.

I'll have you know, I loved working at the 'bux. Maryland is a lot like New Jersey but lamer.

[TZ]

149. Dude I have access to the H1N1 vaccine

So people either want to be on my good side to get some protection from teh piggy flu or are afraid I'll MAKE them get teh autism!

BTW, Deep Creek Lake...and Western Maryland...Jersey ain't got nothing on that!

[JonLP24]

134. ....

:hide:

[TZ]

139. Cardinals fan.

You had one good year, otherwise you are a douche whose team sucks!

[kayakjohnny]

135. I'm ready for my close up Mr. Demille

I'm sure this won't be at all that pleasant. But your premise is so cool, I just can't stay on the sidelines any longer.

Blindfold me and set the guns a'blazin....

I'm sure we'll still be friends in the morning.

[TZ]

140. Ha.

What kind of name is kayakjohnny? Is that like johnny appelseed? Its kind of borin...you kayak and your name is Johnny(and what adult male goes by Johnny instead of John?)

[kayakjohnny]

143. Actually, name not johnny at all, but do kayak quite an effing bit. Meant to be sarc.

Nice slam though. I really enjoy your thread here. Thanks for it. I keep checking just to see what you post next. You remind me of the insult comic dog, but without the accent.

Thanks again for a cool thread.

[Martin Eden]

142. Your mother was a hamster ...

... and your father smelled of elderberries.

[TZ]

145. I fart in your general direction!

But seriously..My mother was a hamster? Can't you come up with a better rodent? Hamsters are cute. And since I haven't a clue what the elderberry smells like thats lame too. Do you have a big L on your forehead?

[many a good man]

144. I am a Cleveland Browns loyalist

and I live less than a mile away from where you work. I have not been insulted in more than two whole days.

[TZ]

146. First of all thank goodness for secure work facilities...

Because someone who is a Browns loyalist is obviously NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD...

[Martin Eden]

147. The Browns are good ...

... for what ails their opponent.

I'm a Bears fan and I was at Soldier Field on Sunday. Both teams sucked, but the Browns sucked 6-30. There were a lot of Browns fans there and I didn't have the heart to razz them (even the guy with a hat shaped like a dog bone).

The highlight was the halftime ceremony with Walter Payton's family. He was being honored on the 10th anniversary of his death. The big screen had a video of his best runs. Now THERE was a football player!