Alert from Halloween Paranormal & Undead National Alert Center: A Zombie Warning is in EFFECT

[debbierlus]

November 1, 01:17 Eastern Standard Time

...............This is a warning from the Halloween Paranormal and Zombie National Alert Center.......................

(A warning means that the threat of paranormal/supernatural/undead activity is imminent.....)

Warning Region...Entire North American Broadcast Zone:

A Zombie Warning Remains in Effect until Daybreak this a.m. Undead activity in the form of corpses rising from the grave and seeking to feed off the living is IMMINENT. All those in the warning zone should stay inside. Do NOT venture outside for any reason other then a extreme emergency situation. Keep all doors and windows securely locked. Stay away from windows. Keep open access to at least one emergency escape route. People who live in areas within one mile of a cemetery, morgue, or funeral home are especially at risk. Lit torches are the recommended means for fighting any zombie who infiltrate shelters. Firearms are not advised as there is a high percentage of accidental killing of real human beings. Loaded firearms should only be used in extreme emergency situations.

...........................................................................

[qnr]

1. Addendum: Unless you set fire to the arms of the zombie itself, and point said

zombie and its flaming firearms back in the general direction of its undead compatriots.

[XemaSab]

2. Oh, crap

We're about 2 blocks from a cemetery and funeral home. x(

Been nice knowing y'all. :(

[seemunkee]

3. ..