Horror movie cliches...

[Archae]

8 things that are scary in horror movies, but really shouldn't be

Horror movies rely on big kills for the big thrills. But there’s a lot of time to fill between them, and if the audience isn’t jumping every 10 minutes or so, they’re going to get bored. So horror directors have turned some very un-scary things into righteous tools of fright to keep the thrills going in just about every situation. Here’s a list of a few of them:


Cats: Cats are not scary at all. They are cute, furry creatures. But you get one jumping out of a dark closet when the lead character is walking around in the dark looking for a light switch, that’ll give you quite a jump.

The water: Anyone who saw “Jaws” is forever screwed when it comes to going into the ocean. Nuff said.

Corn: Sure, by itself corn isn’t very scary, but you get lost in a whole field of cornrows and then it’s a different story. Throw in a scarecrow, some creepy kids with pitchforks and pocketknives or some giant bug looking for its next meal, and you’ve got one heck of a scene.

The lead character’s best friend: You watch as the scream queen walks slowly down a darkened hallway. She hears something off in the distance, then a louder creek right behind her. She turns around and … OH-MY-GOD-IT’S-HER-BEST-FRIEND-STANDING-THERE-WITH-A-FLASHLIGHT!!!! Everyone has a good jump and it’s over. Effective, because you don’t expect it, and a little insulting, because it works every time.

Dirt roads: Nothing good happens at the end of a dirt road. The amorous teens always drive down a dirt road to the secluded make-out spot, and then what happens? Yep, hook through the car door. Nothing good ever happens at the end of a dirt road.

Small town folk: Small town folk are supposed to be nice, good people. And, in real life, they are. But in horror movies, small town folk have a lot of secrets … eerie secrets … Pet Sematary sized secrets. So, while Norman Rockwell did a lot to glorify small town life, horror movies have done the opposite.

Children: Kids are cute right? Bundles of joy, they are. Not when they’re the ones holding the knives with the glowing eyes and blond hair. Kids in horror films are scary, especially Japanese horror films (“The Ring”, “Dark Water”, “The Grudge”). Not cool man, not cool.

Camping: Yeah, camping with friends and family is supposed to be fun. And it is. But if the “Blair Witch Project” and those Jason movies showed us anything, camping can be nightmare. Maybe it’s because when you’re out in the middle of nowhere, you are at your most vulnerable state, with nothing but a thin piece of material shielding you from the serial killer with the machete.

http://sheboyganhub.sheboyganpress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091013/SHE0503/91013024&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

They forgot one.
"OMG my friends are being picked off one by one by the slasher, so I'll go take a midnight skinny-dip!" :eyes:

[frogmarch]

1. You've pretty much nailed it.

Okay, speaking of nailing, here's the top offender to me:

In certain kinds of movies, the protagonist's kitty cat ends up getting nailed to her door by a mysterious antagonist. Dogs often end up murdered too. I hate that, and if a movie begins with the protagonist owning a pet, I watch with the channel changer in my hand, just in case.

[Archae]

2. Here's another

When a character loses a major body part, including their head, they keep on walking/stumbling around for up to 30 seconds before falling down, or even reacting.
I call this the "Chicken with it's head cut off" syndrome.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

3. I'm in a creepy house. There's a noise in the basement.

I'll think I'll go down and INVESTIGATE?!

Like hell I will...

[PassingFair]

4. Don't forget "hair"....the Japanese movies always have HAIR....n/t

[pokerfan]

5. Sex

The two characters having sex always get killed.

[Archae]

6. And the slashers are unkillable.

They only LOOK dead after having major bodily damage.

[SidneyCarton]

12. Yeah, my brother and I always found that annoying.

If it breathes and it bleeds, then hurling enough hot lead into it will kill it.

[charlie and algernon]

24. no one thinks to chop the damn head off

Killer X has been rampaging through your town for 20 years, each time returning after you've pumped him full of lead. Next time he's on the ground use his ax to take his head. Problem solved.

[SidneyCarton]

25. Good point.

I also find the whole "guns and vampires trope annoying. Ok, so shooting a vampire doesn't kill it, fine. Opening up on it with 50-cal? At the very least that ought to sufficiently dismember the vampire to apply the stake, right?

[begin_within]

7. Any character with children is guaranteed to survive.

And it is required to show them hugging the children at the end of the film.

[rug]

8. Fog

[sakabatou]

9. Teenagers a fucking stupid

You can choke them with a cordless phone.

[Drunken Irishman]

10. I think the cliche you added is a cliche of a cliche...

:D

[Drunken Irishman]

11. Final girl...

Nearly every 80s slasher film had a girl surviving, alone.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street...you get the idea.

[Razoor]

13. what about this one

someone is getting chased through the house and they decide to go upstairs if the house has a second floor to escape from the killer.

[charlie and algernon]

14. LOL, yes

and if they're on the ground floor and see a door, it'll of course be locked and they'll suddenly forget how to turn the latch to unlock it and so they run FARTHER into the house, lol.

[azmouse]

15. You should read "How to Survive a Horror Movie"

It's very funny!

[Aristus]

19. Someday I'm going to write " 'DON'T GO IN THERE' - The Psychology Of The Horror Movie Audience."

It'll be a great read... B-)

[raccoon]

22. Is it a book, story, article? nt

[azmouse]

26. It's a small book. Easy to read.

It makes fun of all the traditional horror movie cliches, and is written as if you are trapped in a horror movie and need to survive it.

[LostInAnomie]

16. Any person or couple that talks about their future will assuredly die.

Very similar to WWII movies in that respect.

[NewJeffCT]

17. Only in horror movies or thrillers

people come home into a darkened house with no reason to be suspicious, but they don't turn the fucking lights on!! Come on, who doesn't turn the lights on when they first get back home and the house is pitch black?

[chrisa]

18. They knock the monster/killer out,

And then run away, leaving the gun / knife / hook in his or her hand.

The local police are a bunch of bumbling rednecks who can't do anything right, and the FBI are a bunch of humorless assholes with technology they don't know how to use.

Everybody but the white girl and her boyfriend dies. Good to see that Hollywood is so diverse these days, and doesn't cling to stereotypes anymore (sarcasm). :)

To show that kids are "popular," the girls wear cheerleading uniforms with the loudspeaker on it, and the guys wear those varsity football jackets.

[Capn Sunshine]

20. Running from the killer guarantees you trip and fall down

because no one is horrified AND coordinated.

[azmouse]

27. That's especially true for females in 1950's scifi and horror films.

Those women should really take off their heels before running from the monsters.

[Kutjara]

21. No matter how slowly the freakish killer moves...

...he always manages to catch up with the fit, terrified teens who are running full speed away from him. I call it the "Frank Cannon" effect, after the 70s detective show starring portly William Conrad, who regularly won foot chases with surfer dudes, track stars, and gazelles.

[raccoon]

23. Many of the characters (not the bad guy/monster) are dumbasses. SPOILERS

For instance, in SHOCK WAVES, they let the boat that could save them get away from them, one droofus has claustrophobia, etc.