A question about dating. Help me out, please.

[rockymountaindem]

So, uh, I have this friend.... Yeah, a friend....

This "friend" met a girl very briefly while standing in line someplace, and was unfortunately prevented from having any real conversation with her. But, my friend did get her name, and was able to find her on facebook and become her facebook friend. My friend and this girl really look to have a lot in common, but aren't going to see each other again. Said girl is evidently not in a relationship now. Would it be gauche for my friend to ask this girl out via facebook? Ladies: has this ever happened to you?

[LaydeeBug]

1. why are you never going to see her again?

where there's a will, there's a way.

[rockymountaindem]

3. Well, I suppose that's true

However let's just say I met this girl at a place on campus I frequent, and I said "I come here all the time and I've never seen you before". She told me that she only goes there once in a very long while. Basically I think I would have to camp out there and wait for her, which would be time-consuming, no guarantee, and weird.

[Shell Beau]

2. Times are different now. I see no problem with asking her out via FB,

but you can also ask her for her phone number and call her. Just a little more personal.

[rockymountaindem]

4. Would you give out your digits on FB to someone you talked to for 5 minutes?

Everybody's just so suspicious these days (can't say I blame them). That and I just don't give my number to anybody for pretty much any reason because I don't like getting calls. Does that make me weird :)

[Shell Beau]

5. Well, if I would say "yes" to a date, then I would have no

problem giving out my number. But I, too, hate the phone. But go for it. You'll never know unless you do! And good luck.

[Ivan Sputnik]

6. I think you should work up to it first

by conversing for a while (a few days at least) on FaceBook, to see how interested she is -- and you are. If she responds in a positive way, I don't see why you couldn't ask her out via FB.

[davsand]

7. Does she talk on Facebook about where she does hang out?

Can you arrange a meetup with her in the place she hangs out in? "Hey, I enjoyed meeting you the other night at _____, Can I buy you a beer sometime at ______ ?(whatever place she says she hangs out)

That may be less of a date than you want but it is still an opportunity to be with her and maybe figure out if you even WANT to get her number.

:shrug:


Laura

[rockymountaindem]

8. Evidently she's into coffee

But that could mean any number of places, lol.

[davsand]

9. Coffee is a lot less smarmy than booze--I'd say go for it.

Frankly, if you (er... your pal, that is...) liked her enough to track her down, then I'd say ask her to meet you for a cuppa Joe someplace. If you think that might freak her out, then tell her you'll be happy to meet (and buy for!) her AND a couple of her pals at high noon at the coffee place of her choice...

It is fairly public venue and most folks don't end up after a three day coffee spree with a mis-spelled tat or an STD...

:shrug:

Whatta you got to lose?


Laura

[rockymountaindem]

10. Any other thoughts?

My friend could really use the advice.

[Chan790]

11. Davsand had the right idea.

Invite her out for coffee. Someplace not strange that is quiet so you can talk and also serves pastries of some sort(chocolate specifically) and isn't Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks.

Trust me, I used to be a barista and I am an amazing dater. (Everybody has a skill, I make other men look bad by comparison at dating.) To heck with her number, if you don't get a "I had a really great time.", a smile (a real smile, not a forced one.) and maybe a peck on the cheek, it's because you flubbed it. People don't Facebook friend you after a 6 minute conversation at check-out unless they want to know you better; you've got this in the bag.

Oh...the secret is to listen. Nobody really listens to anybody anymore so when someone listens people are easily impressed.

[TheKentuckian]

12. Definitely, roll on.and keep your pimp hand strong (nt)

[BlooInBloo]

13. Go for it! What's the worst she could do? Label you a facebook stalker...

get a restraining order out on you, call the cops and have them taser you?

Until and unless girls get in the habit of asking us out, we gotta go for it, or get nothing.

[rockymountaindem]

15. Eh, I've got a lawyer in the family. No worries.

:)

[quakerboy]

14. just ask

Better the straightforward "I enjoyed chatting with you, seems like we have a lot in common, and I was wondering if you might like to go out sometime" than the extended "what the hell is going on with this guy who seems interested but never says anything direct and I dont know what he wants from me" routine.

Granted, straight forward only worked a couple times for me, but the latter never worked once.

[Sweet Freedom]

16. Why don't you strike up a chat conversation with her?

Next time she's on FB, go to the chat window, type "Hi, how are you?" and see what happens. She might be more inclined to go out on a date if she talked to you a bit first.