Joke for Friday

[arbusto_baboso]

The Penis Study

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do they're own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Newfoundlanders, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead!

[Strong Atheist]

1. Good one! Oh, and BTW, IBTL! nt.

[HopeHoops]

2. A Freeper walks into a drug store to buy a box of condoms...

He picks out a box marked "XTRA LARGE" for $5.99 and takes it to the counter. The clerk says "That will be $6.35".

The Freeper complains, "It says it costs 5.99 back there."

The clerk explains, "Yes, it is 5.99 but there's 36 cents for the tax."

The Freeper looks shocked and exclaims, "OH, so THAT'S how you keep the damn things on!"

[arbusto_baboso]

3. Crossing my legs uncomfortably at that one.

But still laughing. Nice.

[HopeHoops]

4. It was an ethnic joke from the early 70's (at least when I heard it).

I don't do ethnic jokes, but Freepers make a REALLY nice substitute!

[arbusto_baboso]

5. I usually shy away from ethnic jokes, too.

It's just that most DUers are Americans, and most Americans (even on DU) have no clue about Newfies, Newfie jokes, or how they're made the butt of humor by Canadians. So, I figured they're a safe target. Plus, Newfoundlanders are a pretty small group, so it's unlikely there are any on Du to be offended!

[HopeHoops]

8. Your Newfie sounds like our Perry County

If there's something redneck silly in the news, it is always in Perry County. It is where a guy will accidentally shoot off his left nut while hunting bears during deer season with a flame thrower, a paintball gun, and a case of Miller Lite.

[Capn Sunshine]

6. Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwarzenegger...

A movie producer had called together several big name celebs to kick some
ideas around. The project was an action docu-drama about famous composers
featuring Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwarzenegger in the leading roles.

The producer really wanted the box office 'oomph' of these three, and was
prepared to allow them to select what famous composers they would portray.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play
him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme, I'll play him."

Things were going well; the producers were pleased.

"Sounds splendid. And who do you want to be, Arnold?"

"I'll be Bach." replied Arnold.

[HopeHoops]

7. Groan

Did he smash his car through the front of the bar after that?

[Strong Atheist]

10. Ba dump bump! nt.

[datasuspect]

9. the Rolling Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud"

a Scotsman says, "hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."

[Strong Atheist]

11. Nice one. nt.