BREAKING: US Military Routed in Yonkers

[charlie and algernon]

YONKERS, NEW YORK (AP). The United States has suffered its worst defeat since the Battle of Chancellorsville in 1863.

The United States sent 15,000 troops to Yonkers, New York in an ultimately futile attempt to defeat the army of the infected. The Obama Administration, in an attempt to stave off widespread panic, sent the Army to Yonkers, looking for a potential PR bonanza.

As the infected army approached US Forces, the Army launched dozens of MLRS Rockets, killing hundreds of infected. But still they came. The Infected Army survived a massive bombardment from M1A1 Abrams tanks, F-35 Joint Strike Fighters, and the M-16 Assault rifles carried by the troops.

It seems the highly sophisticated Land Warrior systems carried by all soldiers ironically led to the rout. The cameras attached to the helmets of each soldier broadcasted the carnage to everyone, unnerving even the most battle hardened veteran.

In a cruel twist of fate, the smells and sounds from the battlefield only succeeded in attracting more reinforcements of the Infected Army as millions poured over from the now devestated New York City.

In a last ditch attempt to keep the country united after such a horrible defeat, President Obama accepted Vice President Joe Biden's resignation so that he could nominate John McCain as his new VP.

http://www.ap.com/yonkers/chancellersville.com

[LostInAnomie]

1. The Battle of Yonkers was one of the more interesting and most flawed parts of that book.

I know the reasons for the flawed tactics are supposed to be of PR, but it's still hard to believe that when they were approaching en masse by the millions we wouldn't bomb the shit out of them.

It's also hard to believe that they wouldn't have perched the majority of the soldiers on top of buildings.

[charlie and algernon]

2. it depends on how serious the US took the threat

perhaps they didn't think it would be nessescary to use B-52s to bomb all the NYC bridges. The biggest oversight on Brook's part was that the military WOULD put it's troops on the buildings. I highly doubt the military brass would suddenly forget the practice of always having the high ground.