Let's write a really rad story, one line at a time.

[m-jean03]

It was November 4th, 2004. John Kerry had just won the national election with a landslide of both popular and electoral votes. After two days of ecstatic, spontaneous celebrations in the streets of every major world city, things had began to calm down a little.

Dennis Kucinich was relaxing in his den with a glass of carrot juice and a copy of The Nation, when the phone rang. "Congressman, this is John Kerry, returning your call of congratulations. I wanted to personally invite you to join my cabinet after inauguration, as the secretary of the new Department of Peace."

[BOSSHOG]

1. Under darkness of night

dick cheney was seen slithering out of Wesley Clark's house and getting into a halliburton staff car.

[m-jean03]

2. The tears were still hot on his cheeks;

Clark had turned him away in his hour of need, and he had no where to go now but back to his own personal hell of darkened rooms, old white men and bottomless shot glasses of whiskey.

[BOSSHOG]

3. dick tried to call george

but he remembered that george was only allowed one call and that was outgoing. He didn't know the number to the justice department anyway. The investigation was continuing. Would he go to jail as well? The sadness ripped his alleged heart as he tried to sort out the reasons behind the voters betraying them. We only lied to save our country he said to no one.

[m-jean03]

7. Beautiful!!!

That could make a strong man weep! :D

[thom1102]

5. Shunned by even his daughter...

because of his reactionary stance on gay marriage, made as a desperate, yet futile ploy to enerize his base, Cheney barks at the driver "Just drive, George."

"Yes, sir, Mr Vice President, Sir. It was sure nice of you to give me this job, after I lost my last one so hyenaiously" said the driver.

"Well, George, it's the least I could do. I still owe your dad for making me Secretary of Defense."

[m-jean03]

10. They drove south through the cold New England night,

Cheney drinking heavily, neither of them speaking much more. Just as the first lights of dawn were beginning to show on the horizon, a siren's wail could be heard behind them, and a voice over a bullhorn commanded them to pull over immediately. CubanLiberal swaggered out of his squad car, one hand on his holster, looking like an impressive cross between John Wayne and Antonio Banderas. "Step out of the car," he bellowed. "We have a warrant for your arrest."

[fudge stripe cookays]

4. DeLay's ass itched again.

After being kicked out on his ear from the House, he'd been forced to sell everything he owned to pay his legal bills after Ronnie Earle had made mincemeat of him on the stand in his Texas PAC hearing. He'd served hard time. Now he had nothing except a record. And a mob of people who wanted his ass dead.

He pulled the cardboard box closer around him and adjusted his ratty, lice-infested toupee as it began to rain.

[Ganja Ninja]

8. Hey I thought this was supposed to be a sad story. What gives?

Oh, RAD story my bad.

[BOSSHOG]

6. This is all Clinton's fault

bellered rush limbaugh from the sanitarium. He sat in front of a TV watching the election returns strapped to a metal chair. Drool slithering down his gaunt face. The anal cyst flaring up again as he tried to draft enough energy to remember his fifth wife's name. She had left him after she caught rush with a male prostitute and lines on the mirror, lines on his face.

[Rowdyboy]

9. "Enough pain!" he mewled, as he crammed twinkie

after twinkie into his enormous mouth..."I need relief!"

[ludwigb]

11. Visions...

of Hillary flashed before his eyes. Sometimes she came as a mocking, sexy schoolmaster, taunting him, sensuously stripping the way she would for Bill, without ever giving Rush the ultimate satisfaction. Other times she was a gigantic insect, reaching out to bite him just like Ann Coulter had, the night they dragged her off.

And throughout the torturous hallucinations the image of Kerry, Bill, and Hillary lifting their arms in triumph blinded his senses. "MAKE IT STOP" he screamed!

[m-jean03]

12. He soon got the relief he sought

when a mob of the starving welfare moms he had so often belittled approached him from behind with baseball bats. After he was unconscious they appropriated the enormous mountain of convenience food he had surrounded himself with. "This should last our families a couple of days," the 20 women agreed happily.

[roguevalley]

13. Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson, a newly born again Librul, snuffled in his

sleep as he dreamt his favorite impossible dream. "Hillary," he whispered as he watched her come down the fireman pole. Across town, wallowing in his own little dreams, Robert Novak sighed. The smell of licorice was still strong on his breath as he slept off yet another night of pre-trial preparation for treason.

"Colin did it. Its all his fault," he murmured, shifting his great bloated body in his easy boy. Nearby, staring at him with pity, Ralphie, his 'house boy' reflected on better, more sober times.

[m-jean03]

14. kick

This could get really fun if you guys would only help...

Are we suffering from a lack of optimism?