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I'm currently separated for a few months, and in the middle of divorce procedings (it's irrevocable and about 1/3 the way through). After getting myself settled in and getting my head together (it was easier than I thought, the oven timer on the divorce was going off for about 8 months before the final separation), I decide to go out and meet some people. I join a local group of about 100 people interested in the same stuff as me, not a singles group, but still a group of about 1/2 or more singles.
I've been to two get-togethers. I met a woman my age, and we talked to each other for a long period of time both times. I got one of those "soulmate" feelings, probably the fourth time in my life I've gotten that feeling (two of the three others weren't in settings where attraction was an issue). I am reasonably certain that she's interested in me on some level other than just her being a generally extroverted, warm person.
This was forseeable, but not the plan. I was hoping to first get the posse, then go after the girl.
Now, the problem here is that both of those meetings were in loud, public places where there just wasn't any appropriate opportunity to disclose my current situation, and I've gotten used to getting through the day not mentioning my soon-to-be ex-wife. We are meeting (not by any mutual agreement, we're just going to the same event) at a persons house next week. I feel obligated to talk to her at least briefly and explain where I'm at and where I'm going. How do I do this so as to reach the following goals:
1. Disclosure, which would be inappropriate too far down the line, even if she's not all that interested in me. 2. Sending the message that I'm interested in friendship (after all, that's why I joined this thing) as well as sending a message that I'm not disinterested in the possibility, now or later, of something more. 3. Navigating the thing so as not to mess up what really seems to be a golden long-term opportunity with this group of people.
So how do I do this? I want this person to know who and where I am, I don't want to send a message of disinterest, but nor do I want to make any pretentious and/or wrong assumptions.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for any advice you can give, even though I feel like I haven't expressed myself real well.
P.S. I live in a state where none of this matters in the divorce so long as I don't involve my kids in this.
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