What do you do when you just can't cope anymore?

[Bertha Venation]

Aside from suicide and drinking myself into oblivion, neither of which is an option, what suggestions do you have?

[grannylib]

1. meditation, prayer, nap, call a friend, talk to us here, how can we help?

[GOPisEvil]

2. Something metaphorical...

...usually I go to the driving range and purchase a bucket of golf balls. Then I take my clubs and imagine each golf ball is an area of my life causing me stress. Then I whack the crap out of it and send it flying! No damage gets done, I get some exercise, and maybe even some practice on my actual golf swing. (Although, when things get that bad, I'm more interested in smacking something than golf practice.)

[ihaveaquestion]

3. I used to have 3 glasses of wine

But now I don't drink at all so I just have a good cry :cry:

[VelmaD]

4. Talk to someone.

I was one the edge a couple of weeks ago and talking to a friend really helped.

The other option is to put on whatever music you like best, crank it up, and dance around your house like a maniac til you're dizzy. :)

[SCDem]

5. Look at my almost 4 month old son

[mac56]

6. Surround yourself with friends.

You're in the right place for that.

:pals:

[dolo amber]

7. Heroin

;)

"It's not just for gutter-rats anymore!" :D

Actually, I have an amazing ability to detach myself when it all gets to be too much...it's not great for those around me (thus I dunno how much Mrs. V would appreciate it), but short periods (a couple days or so) of near catatonic/zombie-like existence tends to level one out without the aid of chemicals or firearms. ;)

Not much help I'm afraid if you don't possess the ability. :(

Good luck, feel better. :hug:

[Lefta Dissenter]

8. Sick as it sounds,

I find that hanging out in the Lounge, with great music blasting on my Bose Wave, is very therapeutic. Well, along with some great food (chocolate is the preferred item on the menu).

Sometimes posting some silliness and having a few laughs will help me over a hump.

I'm saying this, realizing that I do not suffer from clinical depression, but also looking back at the past two weeks and realizing that I've had a friend commit suicide, another friend die of cancer, a work associate of my husband's die of cancer, and my dad diagnosed with cancer... all in the past two weeks... so I've had a few humps to get over.

Then when I start to feel a bit rejuvenated, I go back to trying to figure out how I can help to kick bush's ass out of our White House. Renews that sense of purpose.

... oh, and hug the dogs...

[SarahB]

9. You can

Begin to take steps to change whatever it is that's bothering you. I've learned that pretending like problems don't exist is the sure fire way to make them worse.

I hope you're feeling better soon. :hug:

[Rainbowreflect]

10. Sometimes it helps me to journal.

I write down what is making me sad, angry, frustrated, whatever and then I try to see what I can learn from that. I will also list all the blessings in my life; my husband, my dogs, my friends, DU, etc. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
:hug:

[SOteric]

11. That depends very much on the reasons, but in general

I agree with the very compassionate and intelligent VelmaD. If I'm frustrated and feeling blue, talking to someone either a dear and trusted friend, or (believe it or not) a near stranger. Sometimes relative strangers who've got no dog in the hunt can help one sort things out with less baggage than an old friend.

If it's just free-floating anger or anxiety, then I find muscle-relief really helps. Dance like a berzerker, go running, or just pound pillows and yell. It sounds like utter lunacy, but damned if it doesn't lift something dark from your soul.

And in the instance that I'm feeling my own impotence and powerlessness in a situation, I find it often helps to find one small thing in my life and take control of it. Anything will do, often when it's money getting me down, for example I get uber-organised about my budgeting and spend sometime online or at the library looking at thrift suggestions, financial planning advice, etc. It's not always possible to change the universe to support us best, but we can take control of the choices we make with regard to what the universe is offering.

:pals: Kudos to you just for asking for help. Don't let yourself get too down. We're here for you.

[bearfan454]

12. Everyone deals with it in their own way.

Some people get wasted, others talk to people, others do other things. I take the easy way out sometimes by getting fucked up and going to sleep. Other times I plan and do something with my granddaughter.

[thom1102]

13. Find something to distract you from the thing causing you grief...

As long as the problem isn't "I am procrastinating doing something," then I find that if I get involved in a project that requires a lot of my time and resources: a) I feel important and needed, b) I am distracted from thinking about what is bothering me, and c) when I finally do have the time again to think about what is bothering me, I have some time, distance and perspective to handle the situation rationally, that I didn't have before the project.

It is pretty easy to forget that time heals all wounds when your still licking them. PM me if you want to talk about what's up. Maybe I can help? :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. nap, yoga, more paxil

i also cook to take my mind off stuff...something very complicated

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. eat, cry, pray, get lost on the internet

But if you are really that bad off, it's time to see your doc for some help.

[Earth_First]

16. Music...

"one good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain"

[bif]

17. Long power walks and favorite music.

And booze if that doesn't work.

[Skittles]

18. vent in the DU

what's wrong?

[Bertha Venation]

20. foreclosure is breathing down my neck

Mrs. V. is sick and I can't heal her

I am stressed to the breaking point

That's about it. Other than that, Skittles, life is golden.

[thom1102]

22. Focus on one problem at a time...

is there anyway that you can avoid foreclosure? Bankrupcy often protects the home from foreclosure. I know it is a drastic step, but if it keeps you in your home, then you guys can focus on getting Mrs V better. :hug::hug:

[Bertha Venation]

23. we're trying to borrow

I don't want to file for bankruptcy, and I think it's too late to start that anyway. Hoping a loan we've asked for will come through.

[radwriter0555]

19. Tranquilizers... Klonapin is great for stopping that rat wheel that gets

us all twisted up.. makes better able to focus on simpler, easier things... better able to cope.

[Misinformed01]

21. "Coping" doesn't mean feeling like

you always have things together. Even the strongest people fall apart from time to time. It's just human.

It sounds to me like you are coping....just that you are looking for outlets for negative feelings.

Give yourself a break!

[loftycity]

24. We all need Courage and to be Brave in these dangerous times

I think if you really take a look at what is going on. Iris Murdoch hit it right with "an individual can only rise to the level of the society in which we participate."
The disparity here in the US is appalling and hard to live around people that have so much and those of us who have so little. Friends from other countries don't know how we can handle the pressure. I have had friends that have received green cards and have gone back home--the US was too hard for them..and it's even harder for us

This whole personal responsibility thing is a load of crap. It is just another tool to keep you frenzied and controlled.

Meditate, dance, take a long drive with your favorite music, see and make new friends and get quiet. Hey, what ever happens rich or poor always remember you are a hero if you get through this life.

[camero]

25. Not a good thing to do and I wouldn't advise it

But I go into reclusion for awhile. To get my thoughts together so I can keep the battle going.

[Bertha Venation]

27. whatever works, Camero

I hope you're better today. :hug:

[camero]

29. A little tired but otherwise I'm ok.

I gotta wash the car today. It finally stopped raining. :)

Thanks :hug:

[arwalden]

26. Remember That DiVinyls Song?

[Bertha Venation]

31. nnn-no... :)

Which song?

[histohoney]

28. Pray

Take a little nap after lunch every day (I mean it).
Try to focus on doing something positive (even little things) every day.
Take a really good vitamin and mineral supplement, try to be good to your immune system right now, stress can reek havoc on your immune system.
Remember no matter what God loves you and so do your DU friends
I will keep you in my prays.:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

30. By the way: the suicide reference was over the top.

Not only is that not an option, but it is so ridiculously not an option as to be absurd. I haven't even considered it, would not consider it. Don't worry.

Drinking I would consider, but since I have Hep. C and can barely hold half a glass of wine, it's kinda out of the question.

Don't worry.

[Nihil]

32. Don't retreat too far from the world: stop and take a breather.

Fresh air & sunshine seem to be helping me the most at the moment.

Spend some quiet time in the company of friends - not a party or a
place where you have to keep up a facade, just a walk in the fields,
a seat in the garden or share a beer while listening to some good music.

The temporary respite from the problems will often allow your
subconscious to get to grips with possible solutions and clear out
some of the background clutter that stalls the mind at these times.

Chat on DU (or PM people if this is too open an environment for
comfort). I've received a real feeling of spiritual support from
"chatting" with people on these forums - all are complete strangers
but the fact that they have been bothered to reply to my concerns
and suggest things that "might help", just that act of communicating
with someone out there has helped me.

Hoping that this too will pass.

Nihil