Would you do wedding photography for free for a friend. ( with these specific circumstances)

[Locut0s]

A friend of my fathers has asked me to be his wedding photographer. He wants this for 2 reasons (1) he knows I love taking photos (2) he's a real cheap skate. No he's not paying me. Thing is I DO love photography but not this type. I take abstract photographs, I love natural scenery, light and shadow play, and colour contrast. I really don't do people. Thing is I don't know if I should turn him down as it is after all his wedding and (2) the guy is something of a sociopath (no not psychopath).

By sociopath I mean he has a history of using people then dropping them like a tone of lead bricks when they are of no use anymore. He once asked a good friend to re-mortgage his house and lend him the money. When he refused to the guy immediately stopped talking to him for good. MY father didn't speak to him for about 10 years but recently they have sort of patched up their friendship. In college they were the best of friends!!!

Truthfully maybe sociopath is too harsh a term I don't know. I have not had many personal dealings with him and the few that I have he has come across as extremely nice and very intelligent. But then sociopaths seem that way too...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Locut0s..

I did photograph a wedding free for a friend. BUT he wasn't a sociopath. I had a ball, and they were very happy with the pics.

Considering the type of guy he is, I would not do it.

Just tell him you're sorry but it's not your gig, or something. You don't even have to explain it. Just tell him no.

I'd stay the hell away from him, actually.

[denbot]

11. Oh Crap Miss C-P..!!!

I STILL haven't made you the earrings yet.... Oh my do I suck!!!











Alison and I are very grateful that you took so many beautiful pictures of our wedding!!!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

22. My dear denbot...

Ah, not to worry...

You've got a few things on your plate...

It's OK...

And I had such a great time taking those pictures, you know!

It's one of my most treasured memories!

:hug:

[Skittles]

2. no I would not do it

[texanwitch]

3. You should be payed something for your time and talent.

I know people like that, they want something for nothing.

[mwooldri]

4. Tell him you're no good at doing wedding photos.

Tell him you did it before. Pics turned out awful that your kid with a Polaroid camera could take better pictures.

Either that or you're busy washing your hair that day. And the day after that too. Even if you have no hair.

Mark.

[merh]

5. Not a chance

The photos won't be good enough and he'll expect way to much out of you.

It will bring nothing but heartache for you and your dad.

[Occulus]

6. "No he's not paying me"

Red flag.

Draw up a contract, do your job, and get paid. You're worth it. He knows it. He's trying to use you.

Otherwise, drop this fuck like a hot rock and adamantly refuse to have any business dealings with him. If he hems and haws over it, sign nothing and wait until the day before and then tell him he's not worth your time, just to show him that there are bigger fish in the sea willing to snack on him. This guy sounds like he's just waiting to milk you for all you're worth; what I just suggested is the only thing this type understands. Do NOT rely on goodwill or past acquaintance or anything of the kind- draw up a legal contract and hold this bastard to it- hold him to every last dotted i and crossed t.

He sounds like a real piece of work; I've dealt with this type before, and he'll try to fuck you, contract or no. He'll wrap his arm around your shoulders and tell you what a good buddy you are. Don't believe it for a skinny second. At least with a contract you have the possibility of recovering the value of your time, plus punitive damages, which is exactly what he'll sue you for when the photos don't come out absolutely 110% perfect according to him- which of course they never do in the first place.

I wouldn't touch this sort with a ten foot pole for any reason. The way you describe him, he sounds like a social predator, or as you yourself put it, a sociopath. He's looking to fuck someone over, and you're next in line.

Stay. The hell. AWAY.

[Heidi]

7. If he's a true sociopath as you say, he's gonna dump at some point, anyway. Do it if you want to,

if it engages you, if you can do it free of expectation of any kind, and if you'll learn something from it. Those would be the best reasons for doing anything like this, even if the guy were your best friend. :hi:

[Occulus]

8. If the OP sees the man as a sociopath, the best thing to do is stay away.

Sociopathic personalities don't necessarily have to kill people. They do, hoever, use people in furtherance of their own ends, with no regard to the needs of those they interact with.

My advice to the OP is to deny the man the service. The OP already stated that s/he won't get paid- and that's enough to just say, "sorry, but no".

edit: holy crap, the thread's unanimous. We all are saying "stay the hell away from this waste of 206 perfectly good human bones".

[Heidi]

9. You and I disagree, then. I do things for which I'm not paid, but I do them on my terms

which I outlined in my post. :hi:

[Occulus]

10. What I'm concerned about is that the guy will USE the OP

Weddings are, well, "special", and if this guy thinks the OP "messed up" the wedding photos, well... I've heard of that sort of thing going to court in a civil case.

Best to just stay away unless- UNLESS- there's an actual contract. It doesn't have to involve pay, but....

....I'd stay away from this, even if it were my best friend, ESPECIALLY given that the OP sees the person as a sociopathic personality.

[MajorChode]

12. I agree with you. I don't see too much wrong with it

If it's something the OP wants to do just for the experience, then that in itelf may be the reward and there's no risk of ruining a personal friendship, although his father's friendship might be put at risk.

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. No

I don't care if the dude's Hannibal Lecter or Tom Thumb, or if he wants it free or will pay you $5,000. Never shoot weddings for friends.

I learned this the hard way.

[old mark]

14. If you want to do it for the experience, do it, but tell him you will use

copies of the photos as samples to solicit more wedding work (It can really pay well) and MAKE HIM SIGN A RELEASE giving yu the rights to use these photos for what ever reason you want.

If you don't want to do it, just say NO - sounds like you would not be losing much by blowing this guy off.

I was neverr very good with people either, but I did some photos of pets and show animals for a few years.

mark

[Orsino]

15. If I were at least semi-professional...

...and knew I wouldn't botch it, yes. Wedding photos are too important to too many people for far too many decades for me to risk letting down a friend.

Not being a great photographer, I would probably hire a professional as a wedding gift, but bring my own camera to try to capture whatever it was that my friend thought I had unique insight into.

[MissMillie]

16. If it were me, I'd probably do it

For no other reason that it's a friend of my dad and it never hurts to be nice, even to people who don't appreciate it.

If this guy is expecting prints, you may want to suggest he cover your costs.

[Haole Girl]

17. If you don't do wedding photography, don't do it!

It's not as easy as it looks. A lighting nightmare, people with really bad make-up, odd colors, a lot of movement. To me, it is the most difficult photography (worse than sports) there is. Really. Leave it to the pros.

[Moondog]

19. + 1. Spot on. Shooting people is quite different than what you've been doing.

And wedding photography is a specialized form of people photography. Different lighting, different lenses. Because of the weird lighting, lots of post-processing involved. There are no opportunities for re-shoots. You'll be doing them, and you, a huge favor by declining this "opportunity."

[TommyO]

23. This was going to be my suggestion as well

I'm a photographer by hobby, but my area of interest is amusement parks. If a friend asked me to photograph their wedding, I would politely decline and head towards the nearest roller coaster. Wedding photography is a very specialized skill, not for the feint of heart, nor is it for friends in the most case. My suggestion to the OP is to enjoy the wedding, if invited, but don't do anything more than use the disposable cameras if they're floating around.

[gmoney]

18. Guessing it's a second (third?) wedding...

That might take the pressure off a bit, minimizing the "bridezilla" factor somewhat, but then again, the woman (I presume) marrying this dude might be a female version of him. Nightmare.

As people have said, I've helped shoot a couple weddings, and it feels to me like I have a gun to my head the entire time. I think the best wedding photographers have a certain arrogance to them that keeps them from being self-conscious about doing what's needed to get the shots, even if it's somewhat obtrusive.

I'm guessing there will be no pleasing this guy, even if you do it for free.

I'd steer away from it, personally, especially since there's no pay and no real upside to doing it. Tell him to contact a photography school and offer the gig to some students, but even they probably won't do it for free.

[mysuzuki2]

20. I would do it only

if there was an open bar.

[mysuzuki2]

21. I would do it only

if there was an open bar.