WORST song lyrics ever.

[Curtland1015]

Ripped off, of course, by fNord's topic. Anywho:

"I am, I said,
To no one there,
And no one heard at all,
Not even the chair."



...WHAT? Run that by me again Neil.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. having my baby.................what a lovely way of saying

:puke:

[smirkymonkey]

63. Ugh!

the WORST!

[progressoid]

68. Yeah, that one is pretty awful.

I can't think of anything worse at this point.

[NNadir]

2. Someone left the cake out in the rain and...

...I don't think that I can take it, because it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again...oh no!

[begin_within]

8. Next birthday party we'll just have you bring the drinks, k?

[jobycom]

11. You better run before MrScorio gets here. nt

[CreekDog]

14. Yippie kai yay mini sirloin burgers...

:eyes:

[leftyladyfrommo]

60. That's the first thing I thought of, too - but I also absolutely love that song.

Bad lyrics and all - I love to listen to it.

[Danger Mouse]

3. Anything written by Nickelback.

Their lyrics are the only thing worse than their music.

[Dr. Strange]

50. Surely you're not dissing these fine lyrics:

I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

Those are the kind of lyrics Beethoven would have used if he had written lyrics. In English. For Nickelback.

[Danger Mouse]

76. Beethoven? Who the hell is that? Some German guy?

I only listen to music from the U-S of A.
...or Canada.
That kind of counts, too.

[Quantess]

81. I would like a sweet voiced female to cover that song. With just an acoustic guitar.

Jewel maybe.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

91. Hey, Tori Amos did a pretty good job covering Eminem's "'97 Bonnie & Clyde"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDTdfkwByic&feature=related


So anything is possible.

[AzDar]

98. Nickelback undoubtedly sucks...but "Figured You Out" ROCKS.

[LibDemAlways]

4. And see the tree, how big it's grown

But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her
And she got mad
The first day that she planted
it was just a twig......

From one of the all time POS songs, "Honey" by Bbby Goldsboro

Another stinker:

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free....

Enough said

[EastTennesseeDem]

5. Here are the correct answers.

http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/jonas_brothers_lyrics_8121/

[WCGreen]

6. Oh My God....

If only the Rolling Stone would recognize their writing talents...


1. Lennon/McCartney
2. Jagger/Richards
3. Strummer/Jones
4. John/Taupin
5. Marr/Morrissey
6. Becker/Fagen
7. Garcia/Hunter
8. Waits/Brennan
9. David/Bacharach
10. Lieber/Stoller


http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/06/11/rolling-stones-ten-best-songwriting-duos-ever/

[carpetbagger]

95. Muskrat, muskrat candlelight...it looks like muskrat love

Game, set, match.

Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin the town and doin it right
In the evenin
Its pretty pleasin

Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammys so skinny

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

Nibbling on bacon, chewin on cheese
Sammy says to susie honey, would you please be my missus?
And she say yes
With her kisses

And now hes ticklin her fancy
Rubbin her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

La da da da da ...

[Orrex]

7. Seriously? You're missing the larger picture.

You're allowing one oblique image to conceal the greater story going on in the song as a whole. Observe:

L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is 'lay back'
Palm trees grow, and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin' about
Making my way back

Flashback told in present tense. The narrator is a man on the run who has grown weary of running. He has failed to find companionship in L.A. and longs for it so profoundly that he considers fleeing again in spite of the pleasant setting.

Well I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home
New York's home, but it ain't mine no more

Flashback told in present tense. Clearly he can't return to New York because he murdered someone there, which led to his flight. He fears that if he tries to flee the country he'll be caught, leaving him with nowhere to go and "lost between two shores." He struggles with his loneliness and has no way to overcome it.

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Present tense. He is alone in the execution chamber and strapped in. We don't really know the circumstances of his crime, his capture, his trial, or his conviction, but these aren't relevant. In fact, the execution itself isn't especially relevant, because he doesn't particularly fear death. On the other hand, he does fear nonexistence, and he seeks to assert the fact of his existence before he dies. However, he is trapped behind soundproof one-way glass, so that his cries go unheard. Therefore "no one heard at all/not even the chair." The chair is the chair into which he's been bound in preparation for death by poison gas.

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
I you talk about me, the story's the same one

Present tense, representing some last-minute introspection. The frog becoming a king represents the achievement of the impossible. The narrator's failure to achieve something impossible--either to become an innocent man or a man incapable of murder--represents the "few other changes" distinguishing his story from the frog's.

However, the narrator's wish to be something different is not a statement of remorse; it's a purely pragmatic position not worthy of sympathy. He simply wishes--and recognizes the futility of wishing--to become something different at this, his final hour.

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but it won't let me go
And I'm not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone

Present tense. Note the unexpected formulation here: we would expect the line to be "And I've tried, but I can't let it go." Instead, Diamond makes the narrator a slave to the "emptiness deep inside," and he seeks vainly to fill it. In the end, however, he recognizes that he can't free himself from this emptiness, so he embraces it, prefering its false companionship for the reality of solitude. Ultimately, he fears that he is indistinguishable from emptiness (from nothingness), meaning that he is powerless to affect the world.

This isn't a statement of remorse but an attempt to justify his actions. He has committed murder to prove his ability to effect change, so that he can indeed change some aspect of the world at large, even though he remains powerless to change himself.

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Simply a repetition of the refrain, but note how "I never cared for the sound of being alone" now resonates with both "no one heard at all" and "leaving me lonely still." The narrator doesn't fear his execution; he fears isolation. So his time alone in the execution chamber--before the gas is released--is a greater punishment to him, such that his death is incidental. It will all be worth it, in fact, if he is able to demonstrate the fact of his existence once and for all. This is why he committed murder, and it's why he allowed himself to be captured, to enable the crime and punishment to serve as proof the he exists.


The structure of the song itself supports this conclusion: while the sound fades out, the narrator continues his declaration "I am," even as his voice becomes softer and more remote.

Does he achieve his goal of self-realization? Hard to say. His last act is to assert himself verbally, but he's still alone in the chamber, so no one can hear him (not even the chair).


The bottom line of the story is the question of agency in determining one's own existence. Do we exist by our own assertion and actions, or do we only exist in terms of the reactions of others? If the former, then the narrator does achieve his goal of establishing his existence, both by committing murder (affecting the universe at large) and by stating his existence outright. If the latter, then the narrator is doomed to nonexistence as soon as he's sealed in the chamber. Perhaps even earlier, because we see that he fears loneliness but is unable to seek human companionship while in L.A.

So it can be viewed either as a song of ultimate triumph (confirming his existence even as he dies) or ultimate failure (futilely crying into the void).

[RandomThoughts]

10. I have thought on that song also.

I understand your interpretation

My interpretation of that song is different though.


I have not felt alone in a very long time. But I do know, or should say remember a similar empty feeling from long ago. But not for the same reasons.

Without any deep meaning to the Geographic locations, since I don't think it is about that, I like this song. I find comfort in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCOn9NiSgfs

[jobycom]

12. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh... No.

I think it's a great song but there ain't no electric chair in it. It's just a song about a man lost and lonely even though he has no visible reason to be. He's torn between what he's leaving and what he's becoming. Powerful song. No electric chair.

[Orrex]

27. Obviously you're crazy: there's no electric chair in my interpretation.

Your interpretation does nothing whatsoever to explain the clumsy line about the chair.

[jobycom]

47. The first statement is a given, and the chair needs no explanation, and couldn't hear it if you gave

one. Neil established that fact.

[astral]

18. I posted my comment before reading through the thread

right after reading the first post. I humbly defer to YOUR explanation of the greatness of this song. Way cool.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

30. O

:rofl:

[unpossibles]

9. Lonely is the night

When you find yourself alone.


yeah.




no shit, sherlock.

[jobycom]

13. I'd give it a toss up between two Rush songs (I'm ignoring Country because that's too easy)

First, there's Neil Peart's wonderful Ayn Rand allegory which seems to find itself clever, subtle, and significant despite the fact it is none of those:

There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.

The trouble with the maples,
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade.

There was trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream "Oppression!"
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
"The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light."
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.


And then there's this pseudo-cool blathering:

A modern-day warrior
Mean mean stride,
Todays tom sawyer
Mean mean pride.

Though his mind is not for rent,
Dont put him down as arrogant.
His reserve, a quiet defense,
Riding out the days events.
The river

And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift.

(and so on--the song goes on to change its description but it doesn't realize this because I doubt even Peart knew what he was trying to say. "Hey, cool words, lets dump some on the page, and the scream "the river" for no real clear reason. That'll make the kids all go wow.")

[CreekDog]

15. I don't know if Peart is making fun of Rand or not

If he is, then this is a pretty clever way of doing it.

If not, oy. :eyes:

[jobycom]

22. No, he was a big Rand disciple at one point. He's still pretty conservative.

I think he describes himself as libertarian, which to me usually means "I'm a Republican who realizes that Republicans are stupid."

But he was a Rand supporter when he wrote that creature, and that's why he wrote it--to enlighten us poor blind folk.

[TZ]

29. Why am I not surprised that you brought up this topic

For someone who's "conservative" Peart seems to have an awful big problem with religion see "Faithless"...I think thats why I like him so much....

[CreekDog]

37. please don't refer to Peart that way anymore

he now prefers to be called John David Galt. :D

[Bertha Venation]

105. LOL

:thumbsup:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

40. Ayn Rand had a big problem with religion, too.

Just sayin'....being religious and having some screwed up Ayn Randian view of economics aren't necessarily hand in glove.

Okay, I've said enough. I promised TZ I won't bash Rush and I'll keep that promise. It's the least I can do.

[TZ]

43. Last I checked Neil Peart was a drummer...

Not a economist...And I believe their interest in Rand was about 30 years ago or so....

[jobycom]

45. So are you saying his lyrics were crappy because he was drummer, not because he was a Rand supporter

Phil Collins and Don Henley were drummers, and they both wrote better lyrics. Hell, whoever wrote "If you seek Amy" wrote better lyrics, and they don't seem to have any musical skill at all.

[TZ]

49. I'm saying his lyrics aren't crappy.

And I actually think "Trees" has some interesting themes as does "Free Will" ...

[Zomby Woof]

57. Edited: someone already made that point

That being said, I doubt if Peart has evolved much in his ideology regarding Objectivist crapola.

[coyotespaw]

101. He's evolved...

If we're so much the same like I always hear
Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some of us live in a cloud of fear
Some live behind iron gates

Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some are blessed and some are cursed
Some live behind iron gates
While others see only the worse

Some are blessed and some are cursed
The golden one or starve from birth
While lovers only see the worse
Such a lot of pain on the earth
The golden one or starve from birth
Some things can never be changed
Such a lot of pain on this earth
It's somehow so badly arranged

Some things can never be changed
Some reasons will never come clear
It's somehow so badly arranged

If we're so much the same
Like I always hear

Some are blessed and some are cursed
The golden one or starve at birth
While lovers only see the worse
Such a lot of pain on the earth

Lyrics from A Larger Bowl, from the album Snakes and Arrows

[TZ]

104. I love that album

I think the lyrics on that album are really kick-ass....:yourock:

[PVnRT]

65. Many hardcore Randians are also hardcore atheists

[SCantiGOP]

70. other definition of libertarian

A Republican who likes to smoke dope.

[Mythsaje]

84. Well, I think that would fit him well enough...

See "A Passage to Bangkok."

[jobycom]

88. Yeah, that's my favorite def!

:thumbsup:

[TZ]

89. It takes one to know one!!

PFFFFT!!! :hi:

[Dr. Strange]

48. How is the Trees song any different from Vonnegut's Harrison Bergeron?

I think The Trees and the 2112 opus are Rand lite, in the sense that, even if you aren't an Objectivist, you can still appreciate the message. Anthem, on the other hand, is pure Objectivism in 4/4 time.

[jobycom]

62. It's like the difference between Beethoven's Ninth and Spears's "Gimme More."

I'm sure you can find thematic similarities, but one has insight and style, and the other is just pop noise meant to make teenagers all happy.

[Zomby Woof]

56. I hate "The Trees" for the same reason

Randian blather, where people are reduced to different species of trees, and the Big Trees like to remind the Little Trees of their "place", and if they don't like it, tough shit! The Little Trees are envious of the Big Trees, and those pesky socialist unions get in the way of their Objectivist Superiority, cutting the Big Trees down. Naturally, like other right-wingers, Peart confuses equality of opportunity (or even equality under the law), with equality of outcome. Equality = we're all reduced to the Lowest Common Denominator.

As for 'Tom Sawyer', Peart actually had help from Pye DuBois making it extra pretentious.

[Mythsaje]

83. I never got Tom Sawyer either...

It's one of the worst songs on the album and the one that got the most airplay. Figures.

[astral]

16. I am I said is a GREAT song!!!

It was a song before the background music. It was a feeling in his heart and then it became a song and it's real and it's beautiful.

How 'bout:

Dang me
Dang me
They'll take a rope & hang me
high from the highest treeeeeeeeeh!
Woman wontcha wait for me

doop doop doop do do do do do

(i like that song too . . . .)

[CreekDog]

17. Jackson Browne "In The Shape Of A Heart"

And there were other holes as well
In the house where our nights fell
Far too many to repair
In the time that we were there

People speak of love dont know what theyre thinking of
Reach out to each other though the push and shove
Speak in terms of a life and the learning
Try to think of a word for the burning

-----------------------

He should really stick with writing about the regret he feels when he leaves a woman he's been having sex with for a while. :eyes:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

34. Jackson Browne just isn't that great a lyricist. I'm sorry, it has to be said.

Case in point, "The Load Out":

Now roll them cases out and lift them amps
Haul them trusses down and getem up them ramps
cause when it comes to moving me
You guys are the champs
But when that last guitars been packed away
You know that I still want to play
So just make sure you got it all set to go
Before you come for my piano

But the bands on the bus
And theyre waiting to go
Weve got to drive all night and do a show in chicago
Or detroit, I dont know
We do so many shows in a row
And these towns all look the same
We just pass the time in our hotel rooms
And wander round backstage
Till those lights come up and we hear that crowd
And we remember why we came

It just sort of meanders without a point. Sort of a bad stream of consciousness thing. It gets so bad in the end he just says screw it and goes into a cover of "Stay". It's like he's fully aware the song got so pointless that he just ends it and starts singing someone else's song.

[CreekDog]

38. He's good at lyrics from songs about women he's left

:rofl:

but i'll make an exception to also include Doctor My Eyes and Runnin' on Empty.

[TZ]

41. You have a lot to say in this thread don't cha?

Are you Symarip's sock puppet?! :tinfoilhat:

[CreekDog]

42. to be fair

i'm mostly ragging on Jackson Browne.

one day i was listening to a lot of his songs and thought, wow he sure is sorry he's leaving yet another woman. :eyes:

[gmoney]

53. Sorry... "The Load Out" is one of the best "road songs" IMHO

It reminds me of a quote from Peter Case... "I get paid to travel, I play music for free."

The Load Out makes that same point, and is a tribute to the crew and the audience that make it possible for musicians to tour. And how once the show's rolling, they want to keep playing because they love playing, and asking the audience to indulge them and "stay" just a little bit longer.

I'm sorry, "Runnin' on Empty" is a great album, and "The Load Out" is just the right closer for it. In spite of all his other issues, Jackson Browne got that one just right.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

71. The sentiment of the song is appreciated.

The lyrics of the song, however, still suck IMHO.

[astral]

19. "I can't go for that"

this is one song that always has made me barf since the begging of time.

I can will do almost anything that you want me to
but i can't go for that
no
no
no can do
i can't go for that
no
no
no can do

ad nauseum . . .

[timtom]

20. Neil, Neil....

One of my favorite lyricists to bash:

"Songs she sang me, joy she brang me..."

[astral]

78. okay you asked for it

Song !!! she sang to me
Song !!! she brang to me
Words ~~~~ that rang in me
Rhyme that sprang from me warmed the night
and what was right
became me

You are the sun~~~~~~
I am the moon~~~~~~~~~~~
You are the words~~~~~
I am the tune ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Play me

And so it was that I came to travel
Upon a road that was
Thorned and narrow another place
another grace
would save me

You are the sun~~~~~~
I am the moon~~~~~~~~~~~
You are the words~~~~~
I am the tune ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Play me
_____________________________

She was morning
and I was night time
I one day woke up to Find her lying
beside my bed
I softly said
Come take me

For I've been lonely
in need of someone
as though I've done someone wrong somewhere
but I don't know where
I don't know where
come lately





See, if you sing the right words, it's quite good.

Stand-alone poetry without the melody, even.

[timtom]

94. I'm sorry, but "brang" is unforgivable

even for bad poetry.

[me b zola]

21. Even a god can go astray

"Number nine
number nine
number nine"

[JCMach1]

23. WillIAm is the poet of our time (NOT)- :(

Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom

Yo, I got that hit that beat the block
You can get that bass overload
I got the that rock and roll
That future flow

That digital spit
Next level visual shit
I got that boom boom pow
How the beat bang, boom boom pow

I like that boom boom pow
Them chickens jackin' my style
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now

I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom, boom, boom
That future boom, boom, boom
Let me get it now

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom pow

I'm on the supersonic boom
Y'all hear the spaceship zoom
When, when I step inside the room
Them girls go ape-shit, uh

Y'all stuck on Super 8 shit
That low-fi stupid 8 bit
I'm on that HD flat
This beat go boom boom bap

I'm a beast when you turn me on
Into the future cybertron
Harder, faster, better, stronger
Sexy ladies extra longer

'Cause we got the beat that bounce
We got the beat that pound
We got the beat that 808
That the boom, boom in your town

People in the place
If you wanna get down
Put your hands in the air
Will.i.am drop the beat now

Yup, yup
I be rockin' them beats, yup, yup
I be rockin' them beats, y-y-yup, yup

Here we go, here we go, satellite radio
Y'all gettin' hit with boom boom
Beats so big I'm steppin' on leprechauns
Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom

Shittin' on y'all you with the boom boom
Shittin' on y'all you with the

This beat be bumpin', bumpin'
This beat go boom, boom

Let the beat rock
Let the beat rock
Let the beat rock

This beat be bumpin', bumpin'
This beat go boom, boom

I like that boom boom pow
Them chickens jackin' my style
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now

I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom boom boom
That future boom boom boom
Let me get it now

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom pow

Let the beat rock
(Let the beat rock)
Let the beat rock
(Let the beat)
Let the beat
(Let the beat rock, rock, rock, rock)

[annonymous]

25. I think My Humps is even worse

[Tommy_Carcetti]

44. And you haven't even touched "I Gotta Feeling"

A sample of this genius:

Tonight's the night night
Let's live it up
I got my money
Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Let's get get OFF!

I know that we'll have a ball
If we get down
And go out
And just lose it all

I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Let's go way out spaced out
And losing all control


And let's not forget the refrain, of course:

Let's Do it, Lets Do it
Let's Do it Lets Do it
And do it, and do it (lets live it up..)
And do it, and do it
And do it do it do it
Let's do it, lets do it
Let's do it



However, I will say BEP does get some credit for somehow working in the words "Mazel Tov" to a hip-hop dance song.

[cherish44]

24. Country music post 1990 is a hot bed of shittastic lyrics

Actually shittastic entire songs. Two that particularly make me lose it are "Jesus Take the Wheel" and "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"

[Red State Rebel]

93. I'm sorry, but by leaving out the Pre-1990 era you are missing some gems

"I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back and cryin over you..."

nuff said....

[Bertha Venation]

106. Oh, god, my dad loved that song

:rofl:

[_dynamicdems]

26. Devo's got a few that are competitive, but "Wiggily World" is pretty bad.

Wiggily World - Devo

They say the fittest shall survive
Yet the unfit may live
Let 'em wear gaudy colors
Or avoid display
Hey it don't matter
It's all the same

So I do this and I do that
So I do this and I do that
So I do this and I do that

It's never straight up and down
It's never straight up and down
It's never straight up and down
It's never straight up and down

Oh you got a nickel
I got a dime
I'd like to get to know you
But I haven't got the time
You gotta walk like a mannequin
Roll like a tire
Act on reaction
Dodge the big spud fryer
So wiggle on the bottom
Wiggle on the top
Wiggle up the middle
And laugh a lot
Cause I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world, a wiggly world
I got to tell you
I've been living in a wiggly world now
Wiggly world, a wiggly world
Well I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world, a wiggly wor/d
I got to tell you
I've been living in a wiggly world
WiggIy world, a wiggly world

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Yeah I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world
Oh I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world
Well I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world
Well I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world
Well I've been living in a wiggly world
Wiggly world
Well I've been Iiving
In a wiggly world now
Wiggly world
Well I've been living in a wiggly world
wiggly world
Oh, I've been living in a wiggly
Wiggly world

[Rosie1223]

28. Steve Miller Band:

Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra

[Richardo]

86. Rhyming "Texas" with "facts is"

Fucking idiot.

Steve Miller is the suckiest suck who ever sucked.

[Rosie1223]

87. and who could forget:

"Some people call me the space cowboy, some people call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice, because I sing of the pompatus of love."

[SteppingRazor]

31. I think it's gotta go to either America or Paul McCartney...

for either "There were plants and birds and rocks and things" or "this ever-changing world in which we live in."

One's pretty much the most unimaginative lyric ever, the other's the most grammatically incorrect. Pick your poison.

[gmoney]

51. You forgot "Where there ain't no one for to give you no pain" from HWNN

What is that, like a double-reverse triple negative?

A number of years ago (pre-Google) a band called "The Loud Family" entitled one of their albums "Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things" and that drove me (and a friend) nuts for a couple weeks trying to place the phrase... we knew it, but out of context it was baffling.

[begin_within]

54. I always heard that as:

this ever-changing world in which we're livin'

But I guess I've been listening to it wrong. I like the music though.

[Glorfindel]

69. Well, drat! I thought it was "this ever-changing world in which we're living."

I guess I'll just have to file that under "misunderstood lyrics."

[Gidney N Cloyd]

32. Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Jim Morrison.

[joeybee12]

33. I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me...

I'd like to bring back the death penalty for this one.

[WolverineDG]

46. That's the one that immediately sprang into my mind

dear god in heaven....if the "lyricist" is dead, I vote we dig him/her up & smack 'em around a bit with the shovel.

Close second- any dead boyfriend/girlfriend/mom/dad/horse song.

dg

[smirkymonkey]

64. I second....

and give an honorable mention to "Hey baby, I'm the Telephone Man...you can put it in the bedroom, you can put in in the hall......Hey lolly, lolly.." Arghhhhhhhhhh :argh:

[WolverineDG]

66. At least that one was supposed to be funny

unlike WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-ER which you're supposed to take seriously & get all :cry: over.

dg

[GoddessOfGuinness]

99. Hey, you know what paradise is?

It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......
:puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke:

The song sucks, but the lyrics make a pretty good expectorant.

[TZ]

35. I would do anything for love..but I won't do that.

And I love Meatloaf...:eyes:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

36. All time worst has to be Heart's "All I Want to Do is Make Love to You"

A sliver, if you may indulge me:

So we found this hotel,
It was a place I knew well
We made magic that night.
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me,
So many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all
I left him was a note
I told him
I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden
We planted a tree
Dont try to find me,
Please dont you dare
Just live in my memory,
Youll always be there


It just reminds of very bad eighth grade poetry. I just can't believe this comes from the same band that put out "Barracuda" and "Magic Man", two very kick-ass songs.

[_dynamicdems]

39. Alice Cooper - I Love the Dead.

Quite a few Alice Cooper songs could make this list, but this is classic bad.

I Love the Dead - Alice Cooper

I love the dead before they're cold
They're bluing flesh for me to hold
Cadaver eyes upon me see nothing
I love the dead before they rise
No farewells, no goodbyes
I never knew your rotting face
While friends and lovers mourn your silly grave
I have other uses for you, Darling
We love the dead
We love the dead, Yeah


edit to add: from Billion Dollar Babies album

[coyotespaw]

102. True, but Alice can write some damn fine lyrics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lBfWkA3c_c

Dear darlin' surprised to hear from me?
Bet you're sittin' drinkin' coffee, yawnin' sleepily
Just to let you know
I'm gonna be home soon
I'm kinda awkward and afraid
Time has changed your point of view

How you gonna see me now
Please don't see me ugly babe
'Cause I know I let you down
In oh so many ways
How you gonna see me now
Since we've been on our own
Are you gonna love the man
When the man gets home

Listen darlin' now I'm heading for the west
Straightened out my head but my old heart is still a mess
Yes I'm worried honey
Guess that's natural though
It's like I'm waiting for a welcome sign
Like a hobo in the snow

How you gonna see me now
Please don't see me ugly babe
'Cause I know I let you down
In oh so many ways
How you gonna see me now
Since we've been on our own
Are you gonna love the man
When the man gets home

And just like the first time
We're just strangers again
I might have grown out of style
In the place I've been
And just like the first time
I'll be shakin' inside
When I walk in the door
There'll be no place to hide

No matter how many times I hear that, I get shivers down my spine. A man at his lowest point in his life hoping that his wife still loves him; knowing that he's hurt her, and hoping that she will take him back now that he has went through hell to make himself a better person.

[old mark]

52. Anything ever written by Neil Diamond.

He is just the worst lyricist ever, and a pompous ass thrown in.

I am not a fan.

mark

[leftyladyfrommo]

61. I love his songs.

Bad lyrics and all - and some of the lyrics are just terrible. I love Brother Love's Travelin Salvation Show.

[old mark]

72. A lot of other people do, too....

He is a very rich guy, lyrics and all.


mark

[astral]

79. Neil Diamond is Dah BOMB! ya guys and gals!

And there are an awful lot of songs and sure I don't like all his lyrics either, but I love his voice and his songs and his honesty and not trying to be cool.

[begin_within]

55. Ho, ho, ho, it's magic

Ho, ho, ho
It's magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
It's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so

Never been awake
Never seen a day break
Leaning on my pillow in the morning
Lazy day in bed
Music in my head
Crazy music playing in the morning light

[bif]

58. Horse With No Name

They're too awful to type out.

[WolverineDG]

67. I've been through the desert on a Song with Three Chords nt

[susanr516]

75. ROFL! nt

[Iggo]

96. Three? That's generous.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/a/america/horse_with_no_name_crd.htm

Two chords in two flavors. (Beginner Alert: It's all on the 2nd fret!)

[Blue_Tires]

59. Don't Trust Me - 3oh!3

[no name no slogan]

73. Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage

By some stupid-ass bald git who should DIAF

[Tommy_Carcetti]

74. "My name is No Name No Slogan and I suck ass"

I forgot what the name of that song was, but it really sucked. :P

Although I will say "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" is probably my least favorite Pumpkins tune. Perhaps for the same reason that Zepplin fans don't care for "Stairway to Heaven"--overplayed and non-fans tend only to associate that song with the band.

[MrSlayer]

77. Any song that rhymes a word with the same word in consecutive lines.

That is a definite violation.

[wickerwoman]

80. Manowar "Secret of Steel"

"Atop the mountain, where the river of steel flows
Black is the forest, white was the snow.
There as children, how could children know?
One without name or number soon would show.
There stood he, on his chariot made of gold
He did reveal the trinity of secrets old.
A sceptre of iron could mercy bring.
A shield of gold, the Creator and king,
And the great sword of steel.
Sons of destiny shall wield.
Hear Wisdom's voice.
Rise, know the strength that you feel.
Hold in your heart but never reveal.
You were called by the Gods, their powers to wield.
Guard well the secret of steel."

I suspect that this isn't even the worst Manowar song, but I think it's bad enough to rest my case.

[wickerwoman]

82. or Bob Geldof "10:15"

"Jeanne saved my soul. Again last
night. She bathed me in love. She
told me I was beautiful. And I
made her come a lot. She made
me special perfumed tea. Went
and bought patisserie. Put on
music....Bob Marley. Lay me
back. And fed me."

[Orsino]

85. Bryan Adams' "Heaven"....

...is just a bunch of cliches strung together, signifying nothing much:

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way



I've bin waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

[Throd]

90. "Playground In My Mind"

[CrawlingChaos]

92. Sometimes when we touch...

...the honesty's too much
that I have to close my eyes and hide...

Usually makes every "worst lyrics" list, and it's my #1 pick.

[Iggo]

97. AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

[DarkTirade]

100. You've obviously never read any lyrics that I wrote...

I need to find a lyricist and just stick with the music. Which is ironic, because I'm quite good at playing with words in any other circumstance. Maybe its just some weird mental block. Or maybe I've listened to too much Stabbing Westward.

[zabet]

103. Chicken Train - Ozark Mountain Daredevils

chicken train

runnin' all day

chicken train

runnin' all day

chicken train

runnin' all day

I can't get on

I can't get off

chicken train take your chickens away

(HARP & JAWBONE BREAK)



laser beam

in my dream

laser beam

in my dream

laser beam

in my dream

I can't get on

I can't get off

laser beam's like a sawed off dream

(HARP & JAWBONE BREAK)
(while you do chicken sounds)

chicken train

runnin' all day

chicken train

runnin' all day

chicken train

runnin' all day

I can't get on

I can't get off

chicken train take your chickens away

braaa... braaaaaccck... braaaaaaaa....
(more chicken sounds...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSZSxyCtF1M

:rofl:

[Demoiselle]

107. "But if this ever changing world in which we live in...."

Live and Let Die, of course.

IN which we live IN?
Cheesh.
I know McCartney's a master of blah blah....but come on...he was too damn lazy to scan that line properly.
From somebody with his gifts..that's just dumb.

[jmowreader]

108. You're all wrong. Admit it.

The worst lyrical atrocity ever committed by the hand of man is Chuggo's "Ahh C'mon," or "C'mon Fuck a Guy."

Face it: when compared to

My brother's in the can and won't be out till next July.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! C'mon fuck a guy!!

Never Been to Me is pure poetry.