How to be annoying online

[rcrush]

http://www.chiprowe.com/articles/net/net3.html


1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").

2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!

3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.

4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."

5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.

6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore ([e-mail]) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.

7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.

[Kali]

1. needs a little updating but I BASTC!

:P

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. LOL

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. FRBHTC!!!1111!!

SERIESLY THIS IS A TOTALLY AWESOME DESCRIPTION OF HOW PEOPLE FUCK UP THE INTERNETS EXCEPT THERE ARE SOME GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, LIKE THE FACT THAT "EVERYONE" IS SINGULAR SO YOU SHOULDN'T USE "THEIR" IN CONNECTION WITH IT.

[Forkboy]

4. Like I need tips.

:eyes:

:P


That's some funny stuff. :rofl:

[Sanity Claws]

5. Another one

Treat the site as your own personal blog where you write about what you ate, how much you weigh, how you are fighting with your neighbor, etc.

I belong to a site where someone does this -- she drives people away.

[Lex]

6. Sounds like the DU Lounge.

nt

[gmoney]

7. This list has been around for a while...

cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore ([e-mail] )

unless he got that address for life since he invented the internets...