My wonderful husband cleaned out our bank account!

[Pool Hall Ace]

I posted earlier this year about my husband trying to cancel my health insurance and file for divorce while I was recovering from brain surgery.

Well, at 3:30 a.m. the other day, he calls me to tell me he is "getting rid of me" and that I can't handle money or pay bills on time. Later in the day, he gleefully calls to tell me he has withdrawn all but $2.40 from our bank account.

Because of some bills that I had already paid, the balance is right now -- negative $326.04!

Is he a big man, or what?

Oh, and I have to be out of the house by Sunday.

I am much stronger now than I was in January, but your good vibes would help a great deal. I have quite a battle ahead!

Thanks,
PHA

[City of Mills]

1. I don't even know what to say....holy crap

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GOOD VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Swede]

2. What a sweetheart.

Good luck with this PHA.

[hibbing]

3. what a jerk

Hi,
Sorry to hear you are going through such troubles. I will send my good vibes your way and my bad vibes in another direction. Hang in there as best you can.

Peace

[Still Blue in PDX]

4. Holy crap.

I'm going to light a candle and send vibes your way right now. He's going to be bringing down some nasty karma (or whatever one wants to call it) upon himself with this.



:hug:

[Arugula Latte]

84. Welcome to DU, fellow Portlander!

:hi: :toast:

[Still Blue in PDX]

93. Thank you!

:hi:

[triguy46]

5. If you were in my town, I know what I'd say....

Call Mellissa (blank), the best divorce attorney in these parts. You'd have his nuts by the time she was through with him.

[dugaresa]

60. from reading the posts, she would have half of nothing

or negative nothing based on his behavior.

[Zavulon]

6. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. As for your husband, what I wish him

may very well be even more hateful than even you could muster up at this point. What a piece of shit.

[scheming daemons]

7. Most women like it when their husband does more "cleaning"....

..sorry... just a light-hearted joke.



What a shitty situation for you. Why does he get to throw YOU out of the house instead of the other way around?

Tell him to fuck off, you aren't leaving. Make him get a lawyer.

[Pool Hall Ace]

53. Hey, that's okay. I appreciate a little injection of humor.

I am not going to let him throw me out. However, I do have some stuff in Maryland to take care of (related to my emergency surgery).

The original reimbursement check is being sent to Maryland. However it is made out to my husband, because he is the subscriber. I need to be there when it comes in the mail. I don't trust him with money.

While searching for a pen one day, I opened up a drawer in his bedside table and found a wad of cash and some condoms. I took the money, gave some to him, and used the rest for groceries and incidentals. Oh, we don't use condoms (don't need to, as I am sterile).

[newcriminal]

8. Why do you have to be out of the house by Sunday?

[Pool Hall Ace]

12. Even though the house is in both of our names,

his parents hold the mortgage. And blood is thicker than water. :(

To make it worse, I have to go back to Maryland. I love Maryland (it's my home state), but I would prefer to stay in North Carolina.

[newcriminal]

16. You don't have to leave just because he tells you to.

Any lawyer can tell you that. If you don't want to leave don't.

[Pool Hall Ace]

37. But he has keys to the house. How on earth can I keep him out?

He will just get drunk and break in.

[scheming daemons]

40. Police order?

[flvegan]

41. Restraining Order.

However, you don't have the right to keep him out of a house that he has an undivided one-half interest in based upon your wish and whim. You need a reason. In your case, I suggest you find one and execute upon it. Then, if successful, any action by the parents choosing to accelerate the mortgage on less than non-personal reasons, might be met with opposition from a judge based on the presumption that it may be a retaliatory action.

[Pool Hall Ace]

66. Well, he did threaten to kill me in November.

I don't remember how we reconciled after that; it was too close to the brain surgery.

The other day when he called me at 3:30 a.m., he said he was "getting rid of" me. I don't doubt that he was drinking at the time, but how am I supposed to take that? :shrug:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

74. YOU NEED TO HIRE A LAWYER RIGHT NOW!

The longer you delay getting representation in this whole thing, the worse it's going to be for you.

Get a lawyer, and do it NOW!

Good luck, too...............

[Pool Hall Ace]

81. I have hired a lawyer.

I'm on it! :thumbsup:

Of course, my husband has already tried being sweet to me again, but it is absolutely *not* going to work!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

87. Good!

Excellent. Do what the lawyer tells you to do - and if you don't like your lawyer, you are allowed to fire him/her and hire another, don't forget that. The lawyer is working for you. Keep that in mind.

And, no, there is no going back. Don't. You'll just get hurt all over again.

Good for you. I'm pullin' for ya, kid........................

[LynneSin]

59. You need to call the cops right now and get a restraining order

If he drained out your joint checking account he is responsible to return half of that money to you AND cover any of those charges that were incurred due to his little antics.

Do not let him bully you.

[GreenPartyVoter]

64. Seconded

[no_hypocrisy]

68. Three things:

1. Change the locks, all of them and make the windows can be locked.

2. Get a divorce lawyer with a reputation of "no prisoners" who will protect you.

3. Restraining order and a phone with a speed dial to the police.

[OwnedByFerrets]

69. Take this persons advice, please

[flvegan]

30. Title trumps encumbrance.

If the house is in both names, as in fee simple title is in yours and his names, you don't have to leave, nor can he make you. Nor can they make you. The parents, to get rid of you, would need grounds to foreclose out your interest.

Even if you leave DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT sign any deed of any kind. DO NOT give up your interest in the house. Fuck them.

[anneboleyn]

35. Yes, this sounds correct to me -- she can't be made to leave under the circumstances she cites.

[flvegan]

39. I do this for a living. Trust me

that advice is bonafide.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

75. 5gan got it totally right -

and the best part of his advice is NOT TO SIGN ANYTHING!

GET A LAWYER! HURRY!

[jeff30997]

9. Too bad I can't make his acquaintance.

:grr:

[Pool Hall Ace]

17. I see you are in Canada. That is a shame. He would never go to Canada.

That's where people have to wait six months to see a doctor!

(Yes, I married a Republican. I won't make that mistake again.) :spank:

[TrogL]

79. Last doctor I saw I waited 20 minutes

after walking in without an appointment.

[Pool Hall Ace]

85. But . . . but . . . but . . .

I got nuthin'. How *do* Freep-types respond?

By the way, great links in your sigline! :hi:

[elleng]

91. SO DID I!

and experiencing situation somewhat similar to yours! 2 alcoholic repugs! AND I live in Maryland!

:hi: :grr: :fistbump:

Lets stick together!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. fuck!

:wtf:

:hug: ~~~~~~~~~~~~good vibes~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :hug:

[applegrove]

11. That sounds awful. I'm so sorry.

[Inchworm]

13. Basterd...

:(

:hug: <= to you

[flvegan]

14. Make sure you document this for your divorce attorney.

Good vibes for you and hope for a better future.

[TexasLady]

15. the biggest vibes EVER

because I have asked for some myself, and what I won't use, I am sending your way. And here at this place, there's always good vibes aplenty!

oh, and may this 'big man' have exactly what is coming to him.
:hug:

[Pool Hall Ace]

22. TexasLady! I'm familiar with your story!

I am so glad things are going better for you! :hug:

Thank you for being so generous with your spare vibes! And I believe the 'big man' will have what's coming to him. He maxed out his credit card all by his little self, but blames it on me.

Most recently, he purchased $2,000 worth of Cutco knives from a college kid in the neighborhood. He was stone drunk at the time, and blames me for not stopping the purchase.

[TexasLady]

24. well good grief

what the hell is the matter with this 'muh roon'
I have a ten year old with more 'grown up' sense than that!

and with vibes? the more you get the more you have to give! and biggest hugs to YOU as well!
:hug:

[janx]

27. He will max out his credit cards, and he will max out his mortgage.

He will blame anyone but himself. There are women like this too, but sexism still exists when it comes to credit.

[Pool Hall Ace]

29. Oh, he is counting on his father to die any day now

so he can max out his inheritance!

[suninvited]

43. he sounds like a real winner !

and sounds like you will be much better off in the long run. Get you a good lawyer, and see what recourse you have. I hope you have family to back you up financially.

[Ikonoklast]

92. You can sue for half if he does.

Any marital asset is fair game, including any monies or property from any inheritance.

And you are still married.

[SeattleGirl]

18. I'm sending lots of vibes to you, PHA.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. :hug:

[crim son]

19. Forgive me, but what a very small man he must be.

Somebody said it upthread: document all of this with dates, times and anything else you can manage. Proof that he is a vindictive jerk might come in handy during the divorce proceedings. In the meantime I send you TONS of good vibes. :hug:

[Writer]

20. Why the cruelty?

Why this level of cruelty? What he's doing is unconscionable.

He has forfeited his right to live.

[Pool Hall Ace]

34. The cruelty is alcohol-fueled.

When he is sober, he is charming, generous, and loving.

However, he has begun putting away almost 1 L of Canadian Mist per day. Then, he becomes the nastiest mofo on earth.

[fizzgig]

21. lots of good thoughts headed your way

i am so sorry you have to deal with this. :hug:

[rug]

23. Read this, then call a lawyer.

http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/divorce_bed_board.html

He can't force/order/demand anything of you without a court order.

[Pool Hall Ace]

31. Wow! Thank you for that link.

I believe that law firm is the one my husband contacted back in January.

[NewJeffCT]

44. Agreed - please contact a divorce/family law lawyer ASAP

and tell her or him your situation.

I'm sorry for what happened to you. Best of luck in your situation.

[Robeson]

25. I'm not familiar with your story. But if you haven't contacted a good attorney....

...please do. You need professional legal advice.

[cherish44]

26. Yeah my ex cleaned out our bank account too when he filed (without telling me he was going to)

My advice is document everything! Get a good lawyer, rise above this kind of vindictive nastiness but STAND YOUR GROUND! The court will take notice of who is being unreasonable and immature. When my ex pulled this kind of crap I ended up being awarded his balls gold-plated and hanging on a string on my rear-view mirror in the end (and me with a sweet genteel smile on my face the whole time) :)

[AwakeAtLast]

28. Good advice in this thread

I will add to it, but I don't want to scare you. This is JUST IN CASE.

Have a few numbers to Women's shelters, advocates, Police, and trusted friends or family memberrs ready at a moment's notice.

When people start out with this much cruelty, it does not take long for things to escalate.

Please take this advice in the spirit it is given, meaning that I hope you stay strong and do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.

You must put yourself first and forget about everybody else for the time being.

Many hugs to you! :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

32. My dear Pool Hall Ace!

Many, many good vibes from me to you!

Karma is a b***h, and she's out to get him!


:hug: :hug:

[InvisibleTouch]

33. What a dirtbag!

Wishing you well, and hoping you come out of the experience with everything working out for you perfectly, and getting rid of this scumbag for good!

[XemaSab]

36. I'd be happy to loan you a VERY SHARP KNIFE

so you can go castrate the SOB! :o

[Pool Hall Ace]

38. See my post #22.

Thank you, but not necessary! :)

[BlueIris]

42. Dear God. Here's hoping he pays for this. A lot. Through the nose if necessary.

That is INSANE.

[Roon]

45. Thats bullshit

I have AIDS and I have money deposited in my account every month. I cut my ex off right then and there and he was never able to put his hands on a dime of my meager income.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

46. I'm so sorry

What a terrible situation you are in. I'm sending out good wishes to you. Stay strong and I hope everything turns out well for you! :hug:

[old mark]

47. You NEED a good lawyer, a very mean one, and immedately.

That's all there is left.

mark

[ccharles000]

48. what an asshole

:hug:

[whistler162]

49. Might want to contact the D.A. or a lawyer...

Sounds like he kited a few checks.

If he knew you had paid the bills and purposely withdrew the money he might be in trouble.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheque_fraud

[BarenakedLady]

50. WTH?

I'm so sorry. Vibes to you.

:hug:

[mnhtnbb]

51. Hey PHA, glad to see some very good advice for you here.

I hope you have found an attorney that will stand up to the "big man" and put him in his place.

Good vibes coming your way from up the road.

:hug:

[femmocrat]

52. OMG, Pool Hall Ace. Sending you a ton of vibes!

This is the first I have read about your troubles. Reading this should make a lot of us realize that our petty annoyances are really very insignificant.

I will keep you in my thoughts and pray you have the strength to fight this SOB with everything you have. :hug:

(P.S. I bet he's a republican!)

[NewJeffCT]

54. Doing that sort of thing

doesn't make them a Republican.

My ex-wife wiped out my (our?) savings and nearly maxed out the credit cards along the way before filing for divorce, and she was pretty liberal politically and a Democrat. She even told me I was lucky she didn't max out ALL the credit cards. And, I said my(our) because she had lots of debt and no savings going into the marriage and I had a pretty good amount of savings and only a mortgage for debt... I paid off her debts along the way while she was spending me into more and more debt. The situation was so bad that even though she had 1/3 of my income going into the divorce proceedings, the judge granted her no alimony.

[Pool Hall Ace]

58. As a matter of fact, he is a Republican.

I don't know why he is; he is pro-choice, he supports gay marriage. I guess the difference is that also supports giving your wife the shaft. :(

[blueamy66]

55. I am sorry for what you are going through.

Karma is a bitch though.

Sending good vibes...

[NJmaverick]

56. You get the good vides

I hope you get yourself a good lawyer

[Deja Q]

57. Did he read Newt Gingrich's book on how to run a marriage?

:(

Best of luck to you; hubby is a real sick prick.

:hug::hug:
:grouphug:


:hug:

[dugaresa]

61. sending good vibes your way, stay strong and to be honest

the farther you get away from him the better off you will be from reading the information you posted.

[Shell Beau]

62. I am so sorry. Way to kick you when you are down.

Please be safe. He sounds like he is on edge. :hug:

[cherish44]

63. In my divorce I got possesion of the residence during the proceedings

Basically it meant he had to get his shit out of the house and not enter the residence unless invited in. (We both were owners of the house). He did "break in" once, took pictures of the house looking messy (they were largely staged) called DCFS and tried to get our child taken away from me based on those pictures. Got this amusing letter from his lawyer saying he recommended he get an emergency order of protection for our child against me based on neglect. (all BULLSHIT). Thing is HE says HE couldn't take custody of her because of his work schedule... Like I said, if they play games like that it only ends up blowing up in their face in the end.
(He called DSFS on me twice during the proceedings, both times the charges were unfounded. Those letters saying they found no evidence of child neglect and the fact that I told him if it happened a third time I'd be pressing harassment charges against him pretty much put an end to the custody grab attempt).

[GreenPartyVoter]

65. *hugs* Get a restraining order and a good lawyer and fight him hard, darling! *strength vibes*

[Name removed]

67. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[grasswire]

70. how much equity is in the house?

That can be an assurance to the lawyer that he/she will be paid. I realize that with negative cash flow you it is difficult to do things like change the locks, etc. Do you get any paycheck? Do you have temporary disability? Do you have someone else who can help you through?

By the way, centers for violence against women can be a huge help if you need them. It might not be a bad idea to get in touch with such an organization and be certified as a victim of domestic violence (that includes emotional battering). That opens a lot of doors.

[KamaAina]

71. You're married to Newt Gingrich?!

Seriesly, that's what it sounds like. What a douche. It is better that he is gone. :grr: :banghead:

[Generic Other]

72. OMG I would like to kick his ass for you

What a heartless thing for him to do. Please follow the advice of the knowledgeable people on this thread. No man has a right to treat you like this. You have rights in this matter.

Change the locks. Call the cops if he shows up drunk. Let him repeat his threats to them.

[elehhhhna]

73. You're married to Newt Gingrich?!!!

Seriously, the man (?) is a coward though and through --m but I'll bet you've figured that out already.

[Fire Walk With Me]

76. Pardon, but it sounds like a small price to pay to get rid of someone like that.

Hope that he keeps his end of the bargain and stays away.

Hope you heal quickly!

[Inspired]

77. Please tell us that you called a lawyer today!

[Pool Hall Ace]

82. I did, I did.

It was harder to fight back when I was barely out of the hospital. Now, it is different. He has tried sweet-talking me, but it is not working.

I am documenting everything and he is not going to get away with anything!

[NewJeffCT]

89. great - glad to hear it

document everything, and also open your own bank account in your own name and only your name. Don't close your current account (I think it might be illegal to do so..), but just have one with your own money in it that he can't get to.

[Orangepeel]

78. good vibes to you.

:hug:

[libodem]

80. Sorry for you to have to go through this

Been there done that, 3 months pregnant, a 4 and 2 year old in tow. He cleaned out our bank account, took, the tax refund, let the house fall into foreclosure, while he lived in it and I paid the bills. Granted he had lupus and I felt guilty leaving him after he beat me, for having to study for an, Anatomy and Physiology test, I had later in the week. He bought a gun and chased me down the freeway all the way to the battered womens shelter. Please be careful sometime the sick behavior escalates after the divorce proceedings start or a restraining order is placed. The advise above should not be ignored.

[Arugula Latte]

83. Is your husband Newt Gingrich?

No, seriously, what an utter fuckhead.

I hope you can make this come back to bite this bastard HARD.

:hug:

[achtung_circus]

86. Fight back,

tooth and nail... the "take no prisoners" lawyer is your best plan. But do your own homework, too. Research marriage law in your jurisdiction and keep a close eye on your lawyer. My GF sued her divorce lawyer, and won... although she is a "take no prisoners" type too. And a lawyer. :P

In the interim; :grouphug:

[REP]

88. I'm sorry this is happening this way but Congratulations on losing your hemorrhoid!

Wishing you the best, quickest way out and away from Mr Dick.

[mwooldri]

90. Sorry to hear... all the best from us.

Hope you stick around here in NC... it's really not that bad around here.

*hugs* from our family.

Mark.