I'd like to hear from any veteran parents of HS graduation ceremonies:

[sohndrsmith]

This will be my first (aside from my own that is, but that doesn't count), and I have a really dumb question: What the heck is the "dress protocol" for a graduate's mom? How dressy - if at all? I need advice - I don't want to embarrass my wonderful daughter. The ceremony is in the evening - 6:30 pm, in an air conditioned (but crowded) stadium in the Northeast.

That's my main curiosity - although I usually just wing it for things like this. But I figured I'd ask because it's a big day for her (and me, and her dad...).

Just to make things interesting, I have several complicating factors that I wouldn't mind a response on from anyone who's dealt with similar circumstances.

I live on the other coast, so this is a long-distance trek, and even when I'm in the same state, I'm at my mother's (my) home - 2 hours away from where my daughters are. Mom is 74, not doing well and just had her last day of work at a 41 year career and it's blindsided her. Her health isn't good (5 heart attacks for starters).

I'm divorced, and it's not a pleasant arrangement - especially (of course) for the kids. Our respective families have sadly drifted apart to the point of being very uncomfortable if obligated to meet (it really is sad, because I love my ex-in laws - and miss them. But that's all gone. My ex just spent several minutes yelling at me, and I'm still shaking. But that happens every time the girls and I are about to be together.

I don't want my daughter to lose out on this, HER day... but she and her sister always do. Their father always ends up being the focus of attention, through rage, control, manipulation, and they always, always lose. We all always end up in tears, and we always have to spend time recovering. Damn it. But that's a much larger, more dangerous issue that I'm not seeking to solve in a DU post. That's my burden and my responsibility. I just had to rant a bit I guess. It gets very hard.

I'm really looking for more the logistical, manageable advice.

My daughter is awesome by the way... : ) Her soul and spirit, strength and integrity astound me, after what we've put her through... (and it kills me that I'm even a remote part of that, but I am, because I haven't been able to resolve or improve things, and I own that). She has had times when she wanted to rebel self-destructively, but she always ends up sharing these thoughts before acting on them, which has served as one heck of a safety net. I respect her even more for the times when she really wanted to do the stupid thing and would get mad at herself because she didn't. Or wouldn't. (She blamed me for giving her a conscience when she was around 12, but this is all her.

I may have fed her "worms of encouragement", and VERY imperfectly at that. But... she's the one who's learned to fly, and now she's begun learning to soar.

So tell me how NOT to embarrass her next Friday by wearing the wrong thing, okay? : )

[greenbriar]

1. ask her what she would like you to wear? I wore a dress to my daughters grad last month

and hubby wore dress pants, a white shirt and tie


slacks would also be appropriate

[sohndrsmith]

4. It's tough to do long distance.. But - good idea! I'll do that after her final tomorrow. Thanks!: )

I'm fiscally limited to Goodwill, but over time I've become very good at hunting down some incredible finds.

Thanks for being descriptive, too! That's very helpful. She did tell me not to wear "MILF" shoes. : ). I nearly fell out of my chair I laughed so hard. I may take her suggestions with caution.

[KitchenWitch]

2. My son graduated last Tuesday.

I wore a simple dress with a blousey jacket. Knit dress, to the mid calf (I like longer skirts), no cleavage. In other words, tasteful without being overly formal.

[sohndrsmith]

5. Great advice, thanks! I have one dress is sleeveless, not low cut but

more flattering to the shoulders (Michelle Obama would look amazing it it). But it's black, so I don't know... It's very simple and elegant (and comfy), but is black inappropriate, even though it's at night?

I just remember all the "moving up" ceremonies through the years and, and people would come in denim shorts and t-shirts, sometimes... but the kids were younger and they could have cared less. My daughter is more anxious about this one... I've never worn anything that embarrassed her - at least not when it mattered. : )

Thanks again.

[KitchenWitch]

6. My dress was a dark navy blue.

I think black is always appropriate.

[some guy]

3. dressy-casual to dressy

I'd wear a suit, but not a tux. If it were outdoors, I'd likely skip the tie.