Now What?

[Creena]

In July 2001, I finally found the balls to stand up to my abusive father and he moved out of the house. Throughout my junior year of high school, I battled threats of abduction, ridicule from classmates, and a mother focused on her own health issues. My former 4.3 GPA plummeted as I failed all my classes. I only graduated high school because I switched to independent study for my last year.

I started taking community college classes and was accepted as a transfer student at Suffolk University (Boston) as a History major. I attended orientation. However, my mom's Multiple Sclerosis progressed to the point where she needed a caregiver, but couldn't afford one. So, in September 2005, I put off my college plans and became her caregiver. With no time for a job, I needed financial help, so I called my father. He acted like a changed man for a month before he reverted to his old habits, which threw me into a deep depression. I went from a healthy, happy 115 pound (5'2) person to 260 pound mass hiding in bed when not helping my mom.

Fast forward to June 2008. I visit a psychiatrist and sever ties with my father. My outlook on life slowly starts to change with the help of therapy and medication, I start eating healthy and losing weight. My mom's MS is at the point where I can no longer provide the care she needs, so we decided a Skilled Nursing Facility is best. After researching, I found a nice place in Denver familiar with MS patients. My mom and the home health helpers highly suggested move to the same state. My mom also suggested I change my major to an animal-related field because I enjoy volunteering with rescues. My mom found a school in Denver with a BA in animal technology, so I just settled on that one. We're hoping to move in October.

However, the closer I get to being on my own, the more I don't like the path in which my life is heading. I love animals, I adore my dog, and really do like volunteering, but I'm not keen on making in a career. My passion is politics, history, and anthropology. I like DC, New York, and Boston. But, how does a 24 year old with no job experience, unless you count caring for my mother, tackle something so huge? How do I pay for a place to live? Food? Education? With no family or friends, it often feels like I'm screaming for help at the top of my lungs without anybody for miles.

[mzteris]

1. listen to yourself . . .

don't change your major just to make your mom happy. If you're not doing what you love, don't do it.

I'm not even sure you should move. Yeah, I understand about your mom, but it sounds like you really need to make a life for yourself.

Do you have any job skills? Can your volunteer experience translate into "work experience"?

It's doable, but it's hard. Maybe you could start out by doing "home health care" or nannying while you get you on your feet. These can also provide a "free room & board" type situation - which is a real $$ saver when you're trying to get established. In addition to those, then are retail jobs, waitressing jobs, receptionist jobs - anything that will give you "work experience" and a reference and a chance to start earning some $$, relying on yourself, and getting your bearings.

Financial aid is also for schools. And don't forget scholarships - granted it's harder for a returning/older student - but you'd be surprised at the targeted scholarships out there.

Do you have any other family you're close to? Sibs, cousins, aunts/uncles? If not, friends you can sit down and talk with? Your therapist should also be able to help you decide what it is YOU want to do and strategizing some ways to accomplish that.

Good luck!

:hug: