i can't decide if i want to go to my 10 year reunion. advice?

[fizzgig]

my mind is a bit boggled that the reunion is in a couple of weeks (where the hell did 10 years go!?) and i'm still on the fence about whether i'll go. i won't go as far as saying that i hated high school and was miserable the whole time, but it's pretty damn close.

i'm conflicted for a few reasons. first off, i'm kind of embarrassed about my current situation. i got my degree and worked in my field, but have been unable to find any type of real work since i lost my job last march. i work a cruddy part time job, but certainly nothing i like to tell people about. i didn't think at all that this is where i'd be at this point in my life. i know i can just leave my job situation at 'i lost my job last year and am still working,' but it's still embarrassing to me to be in my situation and i worry that i'll just leave feeling more depressed about my situation than when i walked in. i feel like i've done nothing with my life.

i also didn't really like most of the people i went to school with and, although tickets aren't much, i'm not sure if i want to spend my limited funds on spending three or four hours with people i couldn't stand 10 years ago in the hopes that i'll see the few people i liked.

on top of both of those, i've become such a hermit that i don't like to be around people much and my fiance won't be able to come with me for support. i'm afraid i'll just goofy and awkward, much like i was back in high school.

on the flip side, i should be looking at this as a networking opportunity. i am looking for work and this could open up some doors for me.

the only reason i'm really considering going is that it's here in town and the tickets are cheap.

what say you, lounge? am i going to regret not going?

[RFKHumphreyObama]

1. Hmmm....that's a difficult one

I can certainly relate to your situation very well -except for the fiance and part time job. This isn't where I wanted to be or ever I imagined I would be in life and I feel deeply embarrassed about my situation in life when I am asked about it in social situations. I know many of my old school friends on Facebook and see how far they've got in life both personally and professionally and it does depress me immensely -probably meeting them in person would do the same. I also now feel slightly awkward in social interaction (though I wasn't like this in high school)

Note: I post this not because I'm trying to organize a pity party for myself and want sympathy but to let you know I that I can relate to where you are coming from. Interestingly, we both seem to have graduated high school the same year

That having been said, there is one fundamental difference between us. My last few years of high school were probably the best years of my life and I hold many cherished memories of my time there. Although I wasn't particularly close to many of my friends during my earlier years of high school, I formed a deep and lasting bond with many of them during my final year that I still highly value until this day. So I would go to a high school reunion if we had one

If the only reason you are going is because you see this as a networking opportunity and not because you want to go, I'd be inclined to say don't go. You may make a few contacts but why put yourself through re-living an unhappy time in your life with people whose company you didn't particularly enjoy just for a few network opportunities that may or may not materialize?

OTOH -and I think you should take this factor into account very seriously -you may actually find that you have a lot more in common with your old school colleagues than you think. Quite often going through high school together and sharing many of the same ups and downs during that time in your life creates bonds that you don't even know exist until years later. Also, quite often, people change after their high school years (which can be a very difficult time in their life) and you may actually be pleasantly surprised at how they've changed. You may actually become friends with people whom you never imagined you would be friends with during your high school years. Or you may not. You'll never know unless you go

So I'm not sure what my advice is. There are advantages to going and not going. But I can certainly understand where you are coming from:hug: Good luck in making your decision

I apologize if this doesn't make any sense -it is 3:15AM in the morning here and I'm only half awake, just having woken up, and I can't wait to get back to bed. Just thought I'd share some of my thoughts in the hope that it may help you

[fizzgig]

2. thank you for the input

i think you make some very good points about how people change and the potential for new friendships to be had.

i think part of my problem (if you can call it that) is that i'm hemming myself in by not giving people the benefit of the doubt that they are not who they were in high school because i feel, in many ways, that i am still basically the same person as i was back then.

i'm going to have to think on it over the next few days but have to decide soon because i only have five days left to get my ticket.

[Deja Q]

10. My 20th will be in 3 years. Do I wish to relive the humiliation, beatings, molestation, and

assault?)

If your HS years were the best, definitely go back.

If you didn't like them, then stay home. I sure as hell don't want to relive old horrors. Any more than what I currently do when I see or hear something that triggers one of those "fond" memories.

[kiva]

3. Just from my experience

the ten year reunion was high school all over again, pretty much the same cliques and jockeying for status (in case you can't tell, I didn't much enjoy it). The twenty year was much better--everyone had relaxed, and seemed more comfortable with their lives--it was fun catching up, and the whole statue things was far less important.

[a kennedy]

8. Yup, I went to my 10th and am not going to any more......

although I've heard that the later ones, 25, 30, and 50 year ones are more fun. :shrug: good luck with what you do decide.

[myrna minx]

12. That was my experience too. 10 years was too soon--it was exactly like HS all over again.

My 20 year is this year and I'm not going to attend. I'm still friends with most of the HS friends, so there's really no point for me to go.

[azmouse]

4. I only went to one HS reunion.

I'll never go to another. Everyone that was an asshole in school was still an asshole.
I have no interest in meeting with my HS class ever again.

I vote on not puting yourself through the misery.

[madeline_con]

5. Make shit up. Most people there are probably disappointed by

spell edit

their progress "ten years after". If you're truly embarrassed, stay home.

I always thought these things were to hook up with old friends and have a good time. They've become a worse popularity contest than high school itself was! Just my humble opinion.

[Heidi]

6. Early in my career, I photographed a lot of high school reunions.

The 10-year seems to be a "Look at me! Look at me!" thing. I avoided my own 10-year reunion on that evidence. It gets better later, though, I found, when alumni are less eager to impress and more comfortable being who they _are_.

Follow your heart, honey. :hug: :*

[NJmaverick]

7. Odds are you would be happier if you skipped it

not likely to get all that much networking done and it would be a long 4 hours or so.

[old mark]

9. Look at your post - you have 4 paragraphs explaining why you

think you don't want to go, and 1 sentence explaining why it might be to your advantage to go.
You don't want to go, period.

I graduated in 1965. Next year will be my 45th reunion, and I haven't been to one yet and don't intend to go to one ever.

I don't feel the lack, and at my age most of the people there will be talking about their illnesses and surgeries and who died. I can very well do without that shit.

Stay home and watch a funny movie and eat popcorn and forget the fucking think completely.:popcorn:

mark:patriot:

[AwakeAtLast]

11. I always enjoy mine

BUT - I graduated from a class of 96 and most of us were really close. We keep in touch periodically, too.

If want to check in with people for an evening and find out what they've been doing then go. I don't think you will regret it if you don't, though.

[graywarrior]

13. I went to my 25th. I reminded me of all the things I despised about high school.

Even the cliques were the same. It totally sucked. I'll never ever go to another.

[NightWatcher]

14. dont go. you didnt like them 10 years ago, you prob wouldnt today

I didnt go to mine. Anyone from highschool I liked, I am still tight with today. From what I heard, attendance was in the toilet at mine.

Save the few bucks

[quakerboy]

15. I am with you

I feel your situation. I think I may have just missed my 10th.

I say forget about the "current situation". In today's world, not having a full time job is no knock. If it bothers you enough, you can always just mention the job you had last year, and describe it if anyone asks. In my experience people are happy enough if you just give them a general "field" of work, anyway. Except for a few nosies who either actually care or are just a PITA.

I also didn't care for the people I went to school with. I finished HS in a small town school, that prides itself on not changing, and having one generation follow in the mildly retarded steps of the last. If you want to find the people you liked, the 10th is probably not the way to do it. The (very) few people I found to be acceptable company have long ago split town. In the mean time, It would also be depressing to me to have gone, as I am sure that my modest success(I can pay my rent, buy some food,and I don't beat my wife/pets) in life will place me well within the 90'th percentile from that HS.

For me, it was an easy choice. I wasn't going without my wife, because I refuse to spend 4 hours with only people I know I don't like. I don't regret not going. I don't think there is anything you can gain from going that you cannot gain from Facebook.

[Danger Mouse]

16. I'm not planning on going to mine, either.

:shrug:
I just have no interest in it. I didn't like most of these people when I went to school with them, and I don't like them now. I don't need networking opportunities, so I have no reason to go.
The only reason you might want to consider going is for potential job leads. If that's not enough reason to get you to go, then I wouldn't bother. Screw em.
:hug:
Hope you're well. :)

[surrealAmerican]

17. You shouldn't let the embarrassment keep you from going ...

... but these events are for people who have a real desire to see their old classmates. If you're not interested, don't go.
I've never been to a high school reunion because I was a misfit in high school, and have no interest in seeing the people who ignored me for four years.

[mnhtnbb]

18. I went to 10th and 20th and not another one until the 40th coming up in September.

I don't think my brother has ever gone to one--he was two years ahead of me.

You are right that you should look at it as a networking opportunity. If you take
that approach it might be worthwhile.

As Tom Hanks' character said in Cast Away, "You never know what the tide may bring in."