Disney PIXAR's, "Up" The Sugarcoating of Pedophilia!

[ccharles000]

It goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway: If the sight of an old man with balloons in a confined space, alone with a little boy doesn't raise every anointed hair on your Godly neck, then you need to check yourself into a Baptist Mental Hospital! It doesn't matter if a man-balloon-boy combo is presented in a book, in a movie, or in real life - as True Christians™, what might seem innocent to the untrained (unsaved) eye, when seen through the Eyes of Christ, calls forth images that could only be described as a potpourri of pedophilia! This sexually explicit and perverted combination of an old man, balloons, and a little boy is the subject of Disney PIXAR's lewd little new film, Up. And yes, Christian friends, we are living in the Last Days. So, it shouldn't shock you to hear that Up is rated G and is marketed to your children.

Disney's trickery knows no bounds. The title of the movie, Up has already confused thousands of Baptist parents who thought it was a Christian film about a little boy and his grandfather who fly off into the sky to try to find Heaven and Jesus. A lawsuit to refund ticket sales for these duped families is already underway. Christian media experts at Focus on the Family, and Pastor Deacon Fred from Landover Baptist Church suggest that the film is more about Down than Up. As Pastor explains, "A boy with a balloon is fine, my friends! But if you throw an old man into the mix, he acts as a pin, which pops the balloon and sends it and every passenger (which includes all those on board to see this film) sailing straight down into the deepest pits of Hell from which there is no return! Glory!"

Some churches, like Landover Baptist are pro-active about educating children about the dangers of seeing the movie, Up. "We've spent millions of dollars to put together seminars for innocent little Christian children who have been psychologically damaged by not being allowed to see the movie, Up," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "We could fill the Lake of Fire with tears from all the Baptist children who have pleaded with their unwavering parents to see this film! Disney has dealt a new card from the Devil's deck its time to force their hand!" he continued. "I don't want them to keep putting these images into my anointed head! Do you? This latest movie, Up has me thinking about wrinkled old man sex! It's just WRONG! And all the while them Jewish producers and their fat cartoon artists sit and giggle - drinking a hellish toast to the demons who helped them create this nonsense.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2009/june/up.html

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. First scary racist penguins, now this.

[HopeHoops]

10. Don't forget the gay penguin daddies

but those are actually real penguins.

[NightWatcher]

2. glad to see that's from landover bapt.

[siligut]

3. They have to see evil at every turn.

It reinforces the whole black and white thinking thing and their narrow existences as “good” Christians. Assholes.

[insanity]

4. This reads so much like satire that I wish I wrote it

On edit: it is satire. I still wish I wrote it though.

[sarge43]

5. It is satire.

Landover Bapt is a long running satire site. It's so good it's easily mistaken for the real deal.

[insanity]

9. Thank God

I figured it out when I went back and looked at the front-page and realized there is no way in hell that it was serious. Good writing.

[sarge43]

12. It is great writing.

Some one once said that doing good satire is the equivalent of imitating a drunk on ice skates - requires enormous skill.

The truly hair raising thing is there are people who would buy into it. It's becoming very difficult to tell the staff from the inmates.

[Pool Hall Ace]

6. I thought Landover Baptist *was* satire.

[Captain Hilts]

7. WTF? The use of Spencer Tracy's image is pretty funny. nt

[TCJ70]

8. Just to clear it up, this is NOT a serious article. n/t

[NJmaverick]

11. Could have been worse

Disney could have made a movie with children are part of the Landover Baptist, where kids are seen as sex objects for adults.