I don't deserve my A. Ask anything.

[Lyric]

:(

[bigwillq]

1. Then why did you get it?

:shrug:

[Lyric]

3. Because my Prof is a personal friend.

:(

[bigwillq]

4. Don't feel bad.

I'm sure you worked hard. What class was it?

[Lyric]

7. Theatre Tour.

I feel like I bombed it completely. I fucked off for the last paper, anyway. I didn't even start it until the day before it was due. I don't deserve an A. :(

[bigwillq]

8. Take what you can get!

It doesn't happen often, a free pass! :) Don't worry about it!

[Lyric]

10. I can't help it.

I feel like I took advantage of a personal relationship. I truly do not deserve that A. :(

[bigwillq]

17. I would try to put this behind you

and learn a lesson from it. You got the A, it's done. Move on with a valuable lesson.

[Lyric]

18. True enough.

But I still feel awkward. I really DIDN'T deserve the A I got. I didn't do that well. I feel like my Prof gave me that A because he KNEW that I was a lesbian female in search of scholarship $$$, and anything less than an 'A' would have ruined my GPA on scholarship applications.

I'm a horrible person. I let him give me that 'A' without saying a word. :(

Well not anymore. I posted it on Facebook. We'll see if he responds. :(

[bigwillq]

19. I think it might've been best

for you to talk over this situation with him either in person or over the phone.

Facebook gets us all in a lot of trouble! :P

[Lyric]

20. Deleted.

;)

Edit: Except for here. :(

[bigwillq]

22. Good call.

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Lyric!

You did too deserve it!

You are a super-intelligent, very gifted young woman!

:hug:

[bigwillq]

5. Earthquakes don't stop you

from posting! Do they, Peggy!?!? :rofl: :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. My dear bigwillq!

They certainly don't!

In fact, I was about to start my farewell thread when it struck...

:rofl:

[bigwillq]

15. You make me laugh, Peggy.

I really enjoy your posts! :)

[Lyric]

6. Not really.

I'm not worth a shit in REALITY. My professor is just kind, and afraid of losing our (me and Debbie's) friendship.

I feel like a total idiot. :(

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. I really doubt that...

I realize your professor is a personal friend, but somehow s/he certainly has higher ethics than that...

You are NOT an idiot...

:hug:

[Lyric]

12. I really wish that your perception of me

was closer to reality.

If I was enrolled at Columbia, or Sarah Lawrence, I'd be an average student at best.

I am only exemplary because I'm at WVU. Not many real writers at WVU. Hence, I am in a league of my own, and professors are scared to fail me even when I deserve it. :(

[grace0418]

14. Stop that talk immediately. Maybe your relationship has some bearing on the

overall opinion of your work, but no ethical professor would give an A to someone who deserves a C or D (or worse). You're not only insulting yourself, you're insulting your friend/professor. It's time to start seeing yourself as others clearly see you. :hug:

[Lyric]

16. Oh god, I wish you were right.

The truth is that I cannot help but wonder. I seriously did NOT deserve an 'A'. If *I* had been the professor, the best I would have given me would have been a 'B'. I feel awful. How can I know for SURE that my personal friendship with said Prof didn't influence my grade? I feel HORRIBLE and incredibly guilty....


:(

[grace0418]

23. I *am* right. Stop wondering and start accepting that people think you deserve

good things. Even if you think you didn't do well enough to deserve the A, make it your personal mission to work on your writing (it was a writing class, yes?) until you earn that A retroactively.

[flvegan]

24. Knock it off.

Stop it with this "I'm not worth a shit" shit.

Look, if you got an A because the prof is a friend, no biggie. People get entire careers because of friends.

My dad always said, "it's not who you are, it's who you know"

Run with that A and be done with it.

[Lyric]

25. ...

Good advice. Gotta stop the guilt thing.

Thank you :)

[Mike 03]

13. What is the secret of life? How do you get through the most painful time of your life

without losing your self esteem?

And, on edit, what is the best case book on evidence?

Thanks!

[realisticphish]

21. Consider it this way:

how many Bs or Cs have you gotten, or will you get, when you deserved an A?

Doesn't solve the ethical dilemma, but take it as some slight compensation :shrug:

[leftyclimber]

26. Give yourself AND your prof more credit.

First off, you may have felt like the paper was crap, but the fact of the matter is that you're bright and you've figured out the formula for writing term papers. At this point you can plug stuff into the formula and come up with a solid paper, maybe even without an outline. BTDT.

It may not seem like it's up to your exacting standards :P but relative to the vast majority of the incoherent shit people turn in in college it's likely A-quality work. If you got an A and you feel guilty because you fucked off and still got one, well, you fucked off and still did better work than the people who didn't get As. That doesn't mean your work isn't good; it just means you're smart and can play the paper-writing game.

Second, as other people in this thread have said, NO professor worth their salt (and tenure ... and integrity) would give out a "friend" A. You may enjoy each other's company, but when it comes down to class, it's all business. So you might want to ditch that idea right now. It's not fair to either one of you. If you really think it's the case make an appointment and spill your guts about how you think you didn't deserve an A. But don't bring up the "friend" angle -- he could very well be insulted professionally.

WRT the Sarah Lawrence et al. BS, it's WVU for rich kids with a few really bright ones thrown in for good measure. Big state schools have smart students and dumb ones. So do selective liberal arts colleges and Ivies. Track down the other smart students -- they likely feel as alienated as you do. That feeling never goes away, whether it's in school or work.

So quit wallowing in self-pity and suck it up, cupcake.

There. You been told.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Lyric]

27. Cupcake???

:rofl:

Man, if you were anyone else. ANYONE.

:rofl:

:loveya:

[leftyclimber]

28. Made ya laugh.

:P

:loveya:

[Lyric]

29. As always.

:loveya:

Man, I missed you!

[leftyclimber]

30. I never thought I'd say this, but

GOOD GOD, I'M GLAD TO BE BACK IN WEST VIRGINIA WHERE I CAN TALK TO LIBERALS!!!!!!

(My parents were astoundingly freepy. Ugh.)

:rofl:

[Lyric]

31. Poor Catling.

I will always be your shoulder to weep on.

Feel free to invite me out for tea at any time. :D

[petronius]

32. I'm always happy to see students with high standards, but in general students

aren't qualified to judge the appropriateness of grades in either direction (with some exceptions, of course). You didn't see all of the other work in the course, and you don't really know what the professor's base criteria were. I know in the past I've given students grades that were higher than they expected, when I judged that they had met the learning objectives of the course. I've also given students lower grades than they wanted, when they didn't live up to my standards.

At the same time, I've had plenty of students that I liked or considered friends, and I've never had difficulty giving them the grade they earned.

So trust that your prof knows what he's doing, and celebrate your achievement!