The Property Tax Casino

[mathpol]

Americans love to gamble. In casinos or online. They throw money on the roulette table, where the odds would be fair except for that pesky 0 and 00. They love to buy lottery tickets; never mind that the expected return is about 50 cents on the dollar. But if property tax rates are raised, even by a miniscule amount, they are ready to man the barricades. Here in Michigan we now have a particularly perverse situation where, for many, property taxes (which can only go up by 5% per year) are continuing to go up even while property values are coming down. So I have a modest proposal. The state should establish a PROPERTY TAX CASINO.

Here’s how it would work. The state builds a casino, with all the games but poker and blackjack, and all the bells and whistles, scantily clad waitresses, croupiers. and so forth. They then set up the slot machines and other games so that their expected return is, say 50%. This means that a person willing to gamble $2000 can expect to lose 50%, or $1000, on average. The law of large numbers works for casinos, since everyone is betting against them, so the state will get its 50% return. (I assume that operating expenses will be offset by gamblers’ purchases.)

So, say your property tax is $1,000. You go to the casino and pony up your $1000 + 100% =$2000, and you are given $2000 in chips. You must gamble the chips. Your winnings are paid in script and chips cannot be redeemed. So you have an entertaining and enjoyable time, you lose on average $1000, and the state in the end gets all the property tax money it is owed.

Oh, and one more thing. Perhaps we should call it the PT Casino, since “tax” is indeed a four letter word.

Alternate plan. You must gamble away at least half your chips, that is, your property tax.
That would work too, and it would be fairer.

[whistler162]

1. OKAAAYYYY.... and

Aardvarks are orange in September!

[mathpol]

2. My alternate plan is not correct

Here is a correct statement concerning those who do not gamble away all their chips.

If you choose not to gamble away all your chips, you can only redeem half their value when you leave, since that is what you would expect to lose, on average, if you gambled them all away. For example, if you decide not to gamble at all, you get $1,000 back.

[gmoney]

3. How about a property tax brothel?

You go in, pay your thousand, and get fucked, but you actually enjoy it.