Why should you tip a priest in your time of need?

[Phentex]

I understand an honorarium for a wedding service or something extra. But when someone dies and a mass will be said in their honor, why must you feel obligated to tip the priest?

I have a family member going through this and I just don't understand it. It's adding stress to an already difficult time.

[Shell Beau]

1. I really don't know the answer to this.

I am guessing that it is for their service maybe. :shrug:

[Phentex]

4. He will utter the relative's name during a mass he

is going to say anyway.

Seems Jesus would have been ok with a thank-you and a firm handshake.

[Shell Beau]

6. Yeah, I don't get that.

[LostinVA]

29. I have neverm ever heard of this practice

And, I have been a Catholic in two states.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I gave the priest $150 when we buried my FIL.

My brother gave the priest money when we buried my parents as well.


Not sure why, but I never occurred to me not to.

[Phentex]

3. But you can afford it.

Money was given to the visiting priest at the burial. Money was given to the priest at the funeral as well. This is a mass being said a month later at the living relative's home church.

[Shell Beau]

5. Oh, that is different. I was thinking of the funeral service.

Don't know! :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

13. That's what I thought as well. I don't think you need to tip if it isn't

the funeral itself.

[LostinVA]

30. Again, I have NEVER heard of this practice in an RC parish

[gmoney]

7. So they don't instruct the funeral home to dump the body in the river and resell the coffin?

we turn to the wisdom of ROADHOUSE:

Emmett: It ain't the money ya understand, but if I don't charge ya somethin' the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya?
Dalton: Fine.
Emmett: Can ya afford that much?
Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church.
Emmett: Ain't it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?

[Phentex]

8. LOL! But the body was cremated and buried and fully

blessed at the time of death. If he hasn't been prayed into heaven by the living at this point, he ain't goin! :)

[DemBones DemBones]

25. You're forgetting Purgatory.

You never want to forget Purgatory. O8)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

9. In Protestant churches, it's not an obligation, but

if you have the funeral at the church, you DO have to pay the organist if you have music. The organist is usually contracted for Sunday services and possibly choir rehearsals only, so funerals and weddings are overtime. If the funeral occurs when the regular organist is not available, then you have to hire a substitute. If you want a singer, you pay the going rates. In any case, no live music without paying the musicians, because that's how they make their living, and most of them aren't rich. If you have a reception afterward, you have to pay the janitor overtime, especially if the funeral is during a time when the janitor would normally be off duty.

Clergy may spend a lot of time with a bereaved family, literally sitting up all night with them and letting them vent, in some cases, arranging for friends and relatives to come and take care of the family, and guiding them through the funeral arrangements, sometimes going along to the undertaker's to make sure that the family isn't pressured into paying for a more expensive casket than they can afford. Depending on the circumstances of the death and the family's situation, it can be either labor-intensive (after a sudden or traumatic death) or very cut-and-dried (if the deceased knew that they were dying and planned their own funeral).

After the funeral, the family may offer an honorarium. The amount--or the decision to give nothing-- is up to them. However, when my stepfather died, the ministers who officiated at the funeral refused the honoraria because my stepfather had been a long-time music director at their church.

[Iggo]

10. Wait. Priests get tips?

:rofl:

[rcrush]

11. I never heard of this.

Why would you tip the priest? Arent they supposed to take vows of poverty or something? Is it like the same as tipping a mover?

[Shell Beau]

14. I think that is a different deal. I mean they aren't probably

supposed to live extravagant lifestyles, but accepting tips seems a little different to me. They gotta eat and stuff.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

26. Some priests take vows of poverty, others don't...it depends on the order

I have a close family friend that's a priest. He didn't take the vow of poverty. He owns a modest condo to vacation in and has a decent car.

[CreekDog]

12. "don't muzzle the ox"

it's not obligated, you shouldn't feel forced to do it but it is work after all.

[DS1]

15. I'd tip him a hell of a lot less than I tipped my mohel

[Tangerine LaBamba]

16. Well, uh, er, uh, yeah ...............

It's never a good idea to short the mohel.

(Man, I just break myself up with these inside Jew jokes ................)

[Tommy_Carcetti]

21. I believe your mohel tipped you.

Da-dump-dump!

[graywarrior]

17. Because the Catholic Church is the original organized crime syndicate

Hell, we used to hand over our books of S&H green stamps to the nuns in order to avoid sitting in dummy row.

[Bertha Venation]

18. LOL

We had Blue Chip Stamps.

[Iggo]

19. Oh, man. We had both.

I had totally forgotten about that. Wow, books of stamps...lol.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

20. I think we made a $30 donation for baptism, $100 for our wedding. nt

[monmouth]

22. I always thought the funeral company took care of that and it was

included in your bill.

[OmahaBlueDog]

23. Here is a correct answer that is of no use, whatsoever (as well as a useful one)

A priest does not receive payment for administering a service or sacrament; salvation is not only for the rich. It is recommended, however, that a donation called a "stipend" be given if it is within the means of the those who have requested the service or sacrament. While a priest is given an allowance to meet his needs, stipends allow the priest to have a supplement to their set income.

You can usually call the local priory and ask the secretary what the recommended stipend is for a specific service or sacrament in your region. If you cannot afford a stipend, this should not affect the priest's willingness to provide the service or sacrament requested.


http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_do_you_pay_the_priest_performing_a_Catholic_funeral_service


I also found this:

Funeral Donations and Fees

The Diocese of Phoenix has set forth certain suggested honorariums and fees for services. Normally, the mortuary will incorporate these into their contract. If you have any questions about as to whether or not these fees have been included, please contact the mortuary or ask the Funeral Minister for clarification.

Church $100.00 (suggested minimum donation)
Priest $100.00 (suggested minimum donation)
Deacon $75.00 (suggested minimum donation)
Musician $100.00
3 Servers $5.00 per server


http://www.olmctempe.com/funeral_planning_information.php

[DemBones DemBones]

24. That's only a guide for funerals. A Mass stipend for a

Mass in memory of a deceased person is optional and usually $5 or $10, depending on the diocese. But it's always just a suggested amount, you can have a Mass said and pay nothing.

[OmahaBlueDog]

27. Sorry - misunderstood

[LostinVA]

28. Clergy do not expect payment for funeral services

Just like most bagpipers don't charged for playing at a funeral or wake.

There's no reason to feel obligated to do so. However, if it's the family priest and you can afford it, it's a nice thing to do.

[Critters2]

32. Actually, I do expect payment when asked to do funerals for people

who are not members of my church.

See below.

[Critters2]

31. I don't ask for an honorarium from church members for funerals or weddings,

but I do for non-members. Members pay my salary and are the people I was called here to serve. Non-member weddings or funerals take me away from the work my congregation pays me to do--work which still needs to be done. Members often give me an honorarium, but I don't ask for it and I don't set a price for church members. I never accept any payment for celebrating the sacraments--baptisms or home communions.

I've also instructed local funeral directors that I will do funerals gratis for families who absolutely can't afford to pay anyone--member or not.

Do your family members belong to the church served by the pastor doing the funeral?

[hibbing]

34. Hi..

Hi,
This is an interesting thread to me that I really hadn't thought about. I find the whole concept interesting. I would like to talk with you in pm about this if you have any time.

Peace

[Critters2]

33. So, this is a memorial mass, not a funeral mass?

Well, then, it's hard for me to answer, as a Protestant. My gut reaction is to just forego it, that it isn't necessary. But if your family member believes this is necessary for your deceased relative's eternal repose, I guess they need to find a way to pay for it.

These "paid-for" masses are one of the things Luther railed against, that finally caused him to break with Rome. This practice is why I will not accept any payment for celebrating the sacraments. But it's commonplace among Catholics. Sorry.