"Everything happens for a reason"

[Haole Girl]

Do you believe this?

Do you believe most things happen for a reason?

[DS1]

1. no

[Shakespeare]

2. No, I don't.

Things just happen. Looking for a reason, or an explanation, for some occurrences can drive one mad, or into depression--sometimes there is no purpose. Many years ago, I lost three close friends in three separate accidents within the space of a month. I don't think there was a reason for any of those deaths, although it took me several years to fight through severe depression to understand and accept that.

[DS1]

4. and how narcissistic would it be to even consider that those three friends

died not only for a reason, but a reason revolving around you?

It's horseshit feelgood bullshit, just like "It's always darkest before the dawn"

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear Haole Girl...

I really don't believe that things happen for a reason. Like when someone dies and your friend says well, it happened for a reason...

I don't agree with that...

I just don't think the universe is wired that way. I don't see some grand purpose in it.

It's rather like having religious faith; I don't have any of that either...

Some days I wish I did...

Now, this is not to say that there aren't reasons for things to happen. You know, as in you ate because you were hungry. But this is not what you were getting at, I suspect!

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

6. Thanks Peggy

When I was younger I thought so. But I believed a lot of things, when I was younger, I no longer believe. :hug:

[NJmaverick]

5. Absolutely not, just this week I attended a funeral of an old friend

had lost touch with him years ago. The guy went to medical school, became a doctor and a major in the Air Force Reserve. Yet this great contributor to society was struck down by cancer at the early age of 38. So not only do things not have reasons, often it just plain sucks.

[Haole Girl]

7. Agreed...

there can't possibly be a logical, or sane reason, for cancer. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. :hug:

[Lil Missy]

8. Tragic things? Like death? Absolutely not!

I do believe karma has a way of coming back around. Treat people like crap, and it will bite you in the ass. Eventually.

[Haole Girl]

9. Usually karma comes around, as you say...

sometimes it doesn't seem to, though.

[Lil Missy]

16. It does. Trust me.

[graywarrior]

10. Only if we learn by whatever happens

[Haole Girl]

11. Learning from our mistakes is one life's most

important lessons.

Hope your family reunion went well. :hi:

[graywarrior]

14. The reunion was a surprisingly enjoyable freak show.

My brother is such a trip.

[Haole Girl]

15. Glad to hear it

:D

[bettyellen]

19. but you have to remember it didn't happen just to teach you a lesson....

which is what egomaniacs who spew this swill maintain. ugh.

[graywarrior]

23. Shit happens....that's all I know.

[bettyellen]

36. you got that right!

:hi:

[sammythecat]

12. Whether or not there is a higher power in the universe.

While we're here, we're on our own. The only guidance, consolation, and care we receive has to come from each other. I've never seen any evidence, of any kind, to the contrary.

I'd LIKE to think everything happens for some good reason, but I don't think it does.

[Haole Girl]

13. There are so many things we just don't know, for certain

That phrase - "everything happens for a reason" - has made me think, lately. Sometimes I can see how it could be possible. But just when I start to believe it again, something senseless happens.

[sammythecat]

31. Whenever I hear that phrase

it's always someone trying to console themselves or someone else. I would never pipe up and say anything contrary.

Right now I'm an agnostic/atheist. If there is ever to be some sort of ultimate justice and salvation, I think the party responsible for that will be more science-fictiony than biblical. The universe has an infinity of possibilities.

Even when I was a firmly believing Catholic, the "reason for everything" never flew with me. History and my own experience made me think that can't be what's going on. I fell into the camp that believed God set the ball in motion and will sort things out at the end. In Matthew 10:30-31, Jesus says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father." That's a little ambiguous, and some interpret it as "apart from your Fathers WILL", and some as " apart from your Fathers KNOWLEDGE". I fell in with the latter group. Everything didn't happen for a reason...but everything mattered. Made the most sense to me.

[old mark]

34. It's a comforting idea, but in the end it's nonsense.

So much for comfort, I guess....


mark

[bettyellen]

17. utter bullshit, a co worker told me their native belief was that dementia is a payback for being an

asshole. this is after i told her my mom had alzheimers. what a fucking asshole- i wish it were true, esp in her case.

[Haole Girl]

20. What a stupid, idiotic, ignorant thing for your co-worker to say

Ugh. :grr:

[Left Is Write]

25. What a horrible, horrible thing to say.

Especially right after you told her about your mother! :hug:

[bettyellen]

35. i was pretty horrified...she was so stupid to not take a sec and realize se was talking about my Mom

all she talked about was money and real estate and nosey bullshit. gosh now that i think of it i posted here one about her "dollar store " bullshit and how i said maybe too loud that she should STFU! LOL, I'll have to get a star so I can do a search on that!
:hi:

[Sky Masterson]

18. No.

I think we look for reasons when bad things happen.
We want to know why? Why did my mom pass away? Why did I lose my job, my house? on and on..
We don't know. So we do our best to create one. It must be for a reason.

"In a better Place" is the saying that pisses me off even more.

[Haole Girl]

22. It is probably...

a coping mechanism.

[crispini]

21. It's a bit simplistic.

"Reason" implies causation, i.e. the "reason" the egg fell on the floor is because the cat knocked it off the counter.

I believe that it is possible to find meaning and value in events, especially if we make the effort to learn from them. I'm not sure you can say that's WHY they happen.

[Haole Girl]

24. That's a good, reasonable, way to look at it

:hi:

[Lucian]

26. Hell no.

[Tikki]

27. There is something in ..."the odds"...

I think you need to be aware (educated) on your surroundings, though...
or just lucky...

Tikki

[Haole Girl]

28. A little luck never hurts

:hi:

[siligut]

29. I believe some religions teach this.

I also agree with what so many of the other posters have said, it is feel good bullshit.

[Inchworm]

30. Not the way you probably mean

Everything happens

Most things happen because someone did something.

I think woodpeckers have pointy beaks so they can peck wood better though.

:hi:

PS: oh yea.. it's snowing here because a butterfly flapped its wings in Asia :P

EDIT: added the PS

[3.14158675309]

32. Would this question be related to the question, "Is there a purpose to the universe?"

I would like to think that there is, though I have no hard evidence to believe this. But it is a comforting thought to me.

[EstimatedProphet]

33. Yes, but sometimes the reason is that stupid people and assholes exist in the world

[JitterbugPerfume]

37. No

I can not tell you how often I had to endure that and "it is gods will" when my son died It still hurts after over 20 years that people were unfeeling enough to say that to me and called it "comfort"

[Haole Girl]

38. I'm sorry

Hope this thread didn't dredge up horrible memories. :hug:

[JitterbugPerfume]

42. not at all . It is a thoughtful and good thread

:hug: I just hate when people say stuff like that without understanding how badly it can hurt

[AlCzervik]

39. not at all.

things happen and that's that.

[nytemare]

40. No, things happen from causes.

Some causes are just random. Some effects, odds are, are just waiting to happen. An example would be someone being killed by a person who continuously drives impaired. Sooner or later, some poor soul will just happen to be driving on the same street.

I DO believe that people can FIND a purpose from a cause, though. John Walsh is a good example of that. Did Adam get killed for a reason? No. Some sick fuck killed the poor little guy. Walsh was obviously devastated, but found purpose in helping others like him.

Viktor Frankl is another example. He was in a concentration camp and lost his family. That didn't happen for a reason. But, from that, he found a purpose in his life, and invented a new form of psychotherapy that has helped many who suffer from post-traumatic stress and grief.

I also think it is an empty platitude. People often hear it when they are suffering from a loss, and I think it is incredibly patronizing and condescending for someone to say they lost somebody for a reason, and that "God doesn't give anybody more than they can handle". How cruel and stupid is that say to somebody who perhaps lost their child to cancer, or is dealing with any death. People do get more than they can handle, that is life on this Earth. I think prayer vigils empty as well. Perhaps you could do a fund raiser, but prayer vigils don't do much to find a missing child, feet on the ground do.

[av8rdave]

41. Nope. $#!t happens. Cause and effect. Right place, right time, wrong place, wrong time

There is nothing more to it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

43. Yes. You may not be able to understand or see the reason and.

you may not LIKE the reason but, there is a reason for all of it.

[SOteric]

44. Yes and no.

There is a concrete reason behind everything, though we often may not know what it is. And by that, I mean:

A friend dies. The reason(s) the friend died are a) humans are mortal, b) she had end-stage cancer, c) there are currently limits to our ability to cure cancers in this stage.

So concrete reasons, put me down for a yes.

Abstractly speaking, when you're going for a more profound rationale, put me down for a 'no.' Yes, I do believe in a supreme being, but I've a great faith in the concept of free will. And you cannot have the concepts of pre-destiny, or a devine plan in concert with the concept of free will; they are mutually exclusive. Either our lives have been prescripted, or we're on our own to chose, but you can't really have it both ways.

[quakerboy]

45. Physics would indicate yes

What the reason is, well, thats a matter of discussion. Whether its just a result of the existing physical laws, or some higher power, or a universal connection, or what, I do not believe I will ever know beyond any shadow of doubt.

But yes, I think it all happens the way it does because of something. A "reason" if you will. I do not believe in random, seeing as every random thing I have yet seen can be fitted into a pattern when surrounded with enough information.

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. Depends on what one means by "a reason". But, since this trite asshole phrase is so often used

to mean "happens for some kind of cosmic reason of goodness", I will argue against that specific usage, and say, no, I do not believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.