And God Created Canada - -

[ConcernedCanuk]

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And God Created Canada

Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian..

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been? "

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,

"What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God," and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance. Balance? inquired Michael.

Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, What's that one?


Ah, said God. That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth.

There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline.

The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.

They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.



I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed;

"What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" :shrug:

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."


:evilgrin:

[CanuckAmok]

1. Hey, no fair picking on Greenland!

n/t

[ConcernedCanuk]

3. . . . . ?? Greenland . . ? . . . did I miss something ?

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and

now that I'm here ..

Is Greenland a sovereign nation ?

or does it "belong" to another nation

gawwd help 'em if they got oil !

ole Bu$hCo will be after them !!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

2. Funny! One of the better laughs I've had all day.

(MT after U.S. invaded the Phillipines)


Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;
He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger's wealth is stored;
He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored;
His lust is marching on.

I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps;
They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps;
I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps --
His night is marching on.

I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal;
Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel;
Lo, Greed is marching on!"

We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;*
Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgement seat;
O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet!
Our god is marching on!

In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch,
With a longing in his bosom -- and for others' goods an itch.
As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich --
Our god is marching on.