I stepped in cold cat vomit in my bare feet last night, so I wrote a blues song.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

The Cold Cat Vomit Blues.

I woke up after midnight and put my feet down on the floor.
Well, I woke up after midnight, put my feet down on the floor.
It's dark, I can't see nothin,' stepped right out that bedroom door.

I'm walkin' to the bathroom, got no slippers on my feet.
I'm walkin' to the bathroom, got no slippers on my feet.
So I'm walkin' kinda careful, not sure what I'm gonna meet.

So I put my left foot down, felt a funny somethin' there.
Put my left foot down, yeah, felt a funny something there.
Oh yeah, that cold cat vomit, there it was right on my stair.

When I get up after midnight, now I'm gonna wear my shoes.
When I get up after midnight, sure I'm gonna wear my shoes.
You step in puke at midnight, you get those Cold Cat Vomit Blues.

[taterguy]

1. Bluesmen have hound dogs not cats

You fail

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. I'm a blues girl, and we have cats in whose puke we step.

[taterguy]

6. That's an annoyance, not the blues

:eyes:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Have YOU ever stepped in cold cat vomit?

I tell you, it's the blues.

[taterguy]

9. I've never stepped in cold cat vomit because I've never lived with a cat

Living with a cat disqualifies you from having the right to sing the blues.

It's in the Rule Book!

Look it up!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear Velveteen Ocelot!

Great song, and unfortunate source of inspiration!

But you really did well...

:applause: :scared:

[graywarrior]

4. LOL!

I want to hear it!

[crispini]

5. I love it.

:applause:

May I make some creative suggestions? I think something about squishy between the toes would help to truly enhance the horror of the situation. Or maybe a line with something about chunks. Because you know that's the bit that really makes you want to puke yourself.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. Feel free to add a verse!

[Pierre.Suave]

10. Very funny

:rofl:

[Demoiselle]

11. You would have preferred WARM cat vomit?

I love your lyrics.

[Skittles]

12. did it squish between your toes?

THAT is the worst

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. No, but I nearly slipped on it.

I can just imagine going to the emergency room with a big gash on my forehead and trying to explain how I'd slipped on cat vomit.

This was one of the rare occasions when a cat actually puked on a bare floor rather than a rug. He must have been having an off night.

[TommyO]

18. My "puker" has two places

Any carpeted area, or on my down comforter. Guess which one is in the dryer now?

[murielm99]

31. Mine pukes behind the potted plants.

I have to go looking for it.

x(

[undeterred]

14. I bet it doesn't feel as good as stepping in fresh puppy poop.

:hi:

I think you should send your song to American Idol.

[XemaSab]

15. That cold cat vomit, it squish between my toes

Yeah, the cold cat vomit, it squish right in between my toes
That's the kinda thing right there, make you lose yo' oreos...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

16. Excellent!

:rofl:

[marzipanni]

17. Here's a little change to suggest what it is you've stepped on...

but we find out for sure in your last line!

So I put my left foot down, felt something funny on the stair.
Put my left foot down, yeah, felt something funny on the stair.
Slippery, slimy...lord, I wished my feet weren't bare!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. Nice!

It was definitely slippery and slimy.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

20. Hmm, note to self: Always wear slippers when getting up at night

now that you have a cat. :-)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

22. Is Kidley inclined to hork on the floor?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

23. No, when I first got him, he used to spit up hair balls

but he hasn't done that since I changed his food.

He used to be rough-coated and lethargic. Now he's silky and active.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

24. So now you have to post some new pictures

since Kidley is no longer having bad fur days.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. He still looks the same

He just feels silkier.

[Fire Walk With Me]

21. Peake's Law: The one who goes barefoot, finds the spill.

Or variations thereof.

Recommending!

[Iggo]

25. It's...

....The Get Up At Night No Shoes Step In Cold Cat Vomit Long Train Runnin' Blues.

Ooooooooh yeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!

[TroglodyteScholar]

27. Wonderful!

I've had the displeasure of stepping in the cold cat vomit on more than one occasion, but it never occurred to me just what a bluesy experience that is......

[Critters2]

28. If you had a hound dog, the vomit wouldn't have a chance to get cold.

And wouldn't be there in the morning.

[krispos42]

29. "I woke up, this morning...."

"Then I went right back to bed..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSZ4k6voAVM

:headbang: <legit>

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

32. That works.

:rofl:

[Lil Missy]

30. ......

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Did you make that up?

So, I guess I have an advantage to being anal about always wearing socks. And shoes or slippers when I walk about!

[DS1]

33. eh, that's nothing

I once discovered that the thing on the floor making my big toe wet was a cardinal which had been eviscerated, and my toe was inside the cavity when I reached over and turned the light on.

[crispini]

34. WIN!

Oh, the horror. I'm getting a little ill just thinking about it.