8 Customers Everyone Hates

[DainBramaged]

Let's face it: most of the people reading this have had jobs in the service industry. Waiter, barista, the shoe guy at the bowling alley. Everybody does it at one point in their lives. A low point.

After all, no matter how much you love people, dealing with customers still pretty much sucks. Here are the ones that all of us in the customer service brigade have learned to hate:

#8.The Stoner


Distinguishing Characteristics:

Tomato Eyes, Jamaican flags.

Now don't get us wrong; there's nothing wrong with the occasional trip to Stoneyville. If you can keep the fact that you're high as a kite discreet, more power to you. However, once your being stoned out of your gourd interferes with other people's jobs, you've crossed the line. Especially when it handicaps you from making the crucial decision of what you want on your nachos.


"What happens now?"

Enter the Stoner, the guy who has no shame at all for being ripped off his ass. This dude is weaving in and out of reality, absolutely baffled as to how he got into Taco Bell. Now, we understand your situation : You're the hungriest you've ever been in your life, but you're also, in your condition, borderline useless. Unless you've planned ahead (you didn't) you'll have to make a monetary transaction involving you and another human being.

But it's not like the extraordinarily complicated system of menu-order-wallet-money changes once you've decided to puff the magic dragon. This is something you've been doing on a daily basis for a good part of your life.


"I'd like eleven hundred tacos. And then eight tacos. Please."

Come on guys, either wait until after you've got your food to smoke, or get a grip for the 30 seconds it takes to order a churro.

Suitable Punishment in Hell:

Being constantly stoned out of their minds. While this may not seem like much of a punishment, they will then be made to solve riddles, with each wrong answer resulting in a swift kick to the nuts.

#7.The Soapbox (a.k.a Captain Linger)


Distinguishing Characteristics:

Having no company, reeking of desperation.

Some people have no friends, no one they can chitchat with about the stupid things that they can both relate to. To remedy this problem, some of these people go out and actually make friends. Others simply go to their local coffee shop to talk to strangers working behind a counter, people who don't know/care who you are and are literally forced to listen to you in order to earn a paycheck.


"I'd like to tell you about all my feelings."

Taking full advantage of their captive audience, the Soapbox will proceed to bore you to tears about uninteresting details from their day, their iguana's ailing health and their arsenal of closed-minded opinions and politically incorrect jokes that you have to chuckle at because your boss is standing right next to you.

They will then linger for the next twenty to thirty minutes, talking to you while you're helping other people, trying to hide your waning interest in whatever the hell they were talking about. Sorry dude, but there's a difference between making small talk and forcing someone to listen to your nonsense. Lingerers, as a rule, have not yet discovered the Internet and blogging.


This will absolutely change your life.

Suitable Punishment in Hell:

Chihuahuas grafted to each shoulder, constantly barking in their ears, with no possible escape.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16994_8-customers-everyone-hates.html

[blue neen]

1. I actually had a little old lady yell at me for half an hour today because her

prescription co-pay was $.72. Yes, that's right--seventy two cents!

She thought she shouldn't have to pay anything.

And you have to stand there and take it...for gawd's sake!

[XemaSab]

2. The cellphone shithead

Having worked in retail for a whole month, it's amazing how many people talk on the phone like they don't know you're there.

"Yeah, I made an appointment to have my lip waxed before the party...."

Um, TMI? :shrug:

[vadawg]

8. i hate the cellphone dude, when im talking to you hang up

i got more important things to do than to wait for you to finish your important call to explain why your going to be late, and all it does is piss me off and make you even later.

[baldguy]

3. Where's The Important Guy?

As in:

"Never mind about serving the customer you're speaking to now! You should help ME instead, because I'M IMPORTANT!

Don't you know who I am?

What's the name of this place? Sears? Well then, I'd like Mister Sears to serve me!. Because I'M THAT IMPORTANT!"

[skygazer]

4. I have a standard response to those people

"I'm sorry - who did you say you think you are again?" Delivered in my most professional voice.

[w8liftinglady]

5. I remember working in an ER doing CPR on a guy

a lady came in with her husband who had cut his hand on a champagne glass..."I realize that man is sick,but when will my husband be seen?"....oy

[rcrush]

6. I got a good one for you.

When I ran a movie theatre one of my employees collasped and had a seizure in the auditorium right before the movie was about to start. So I held up the movie until EMS got to him and everything was ok. All the while this fucking lady starts bitching at me that she wants to watch her movie. I keep telling her that this is an emergency and I'd be happy to give her some free passes 'for the inconvienence'. She gets all in my face and says this is unacceptable and all sorts of bullshit about how shes 'rich' and 'a lady' and shouldnt have to put up with stuff like this.

She actually said to me "Well why dont you just MOVE HIM OUT OF HERE SO WE CAN WATCH THE MOVIE" WTF! I snapped and told her to get the FUCK out of my face and I wasnt going to move someone who is convulsing on the floor right at this min. I've had it at this point and I kicked her out of the theatre without a refund or anything. I got into some shit with upper management after that lol.

[kentauros]

10. Did upper management understand the situation? At all?

Or were they being their usual obstinate selves, no matter what? (we all know what upper management can be like...) ;)

Good for you for kicking her out, though. I'm surprised she didn't call you "the little people".

[rcrush]

11. They were more upset that I was 'rude' to her.

And for swearing at her. Somehow that became a bigger deal than a crazy bitch wanting me to drag my unconsious employee across the floor so she can watch her movie.

[kentauros]

9. Of course, I remember waiting five hours in excruciating kidney stone pain

in an empty ER overnight one time (I drove myself there, barely lucid) no one asking if I wanted anything for the pain, me still being polite as normal, and watching someone with a cut to their finger getting admitted ahead of me. I said nothing, but it did not sit well, thus why I'm mentioning it now :P

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

14. We had a woman who would come in every six months or so

She was a Republican (talked about how much she hated the Clintons) and rich. She would buy about 200 dollars worth of books at a time. And she thought that once she walked into the store, she was the only one who should be waited on. One time she was standing near the register while I rang someone up who was buying a seven dollar paperback and had this look of disgust on her face that this peon was being served before her. She apparently walked out one time because the two guys working did not kiss her ass enough, and waited on other people. Our asshole manager who loved her, was livid saying if he found out who it was they'd be fired, and she was one of our best customers. Jee-sus, fuck off already, you old crow.

[sohndrsmith]

7. People who drag their toddlers out late at night to stores that are

either boring or too exciting, expect them to be quite little obedient saints (when their not designed that way at that age) and are mean to the kids because they're not invisible. Ugh. I'm not a violent person - at all - but this makes my blood boil.

When the kid is obviously tired or bored or hungry and way past his limit - it's unfair and I don't like people who do that...

People with a lightning quick temper are tough too - or impatient to the point of being rude. But I lived with that, which is worse...

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

12. What about the "Scam Artist"

Trying to return shit they may or may not have bought in 1997, and becoming indignant when you ask for a receipt or try to tell them you never sold that product.

[rcrush]

13. Does your boss tell you to refund them anyway?

So that you dont 'turn away repeat business'. Its such horseshit cause they always fucking quote that "if 1 person tells his friends then they'll tell 2 friends and so on and so on...".

It seems to me all it does it make you well known for being easy to rip off.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

15. You wanna hear the all-time scam?

Not a refund, but here goes.....

Person comes in and places a special order (A BIBLE, no less) that is supposed to be a gift for someone. Bookseller orders it up and gives them a slip with the book's ISBN, author...blah blah......anyway, at the bottom there was a thing that said "Does this qualify as a seven day guarantee?". It was an old system we had where if the book was easy to find, we could tell the customer it would be in a week or less. This was not an easy edition to find, so no such promise was made.

About eight days later, the book comes in. Customer is called. They demand a discount because it took more than seven days. They claim the person who ordered it told them it would come in in seven days or less. An utterly ridiculous claim. We don't work on commission, and there would be no benefit to such a claim over a 30 dollar book. Customer says it was checked off and circled by the bookseller. Even more ridiculous.

Our manager ends up fighting with them on the phone. Basically says they are full of it. They try to negotiate for 50% off. Manager says I'll give you 20% off, take it or leave it. They call the District Sales Manager, one of the biggest morons I have ever met. She calls back to the store and tells me when I answer that the customer would be in that night, and to give them the book for FREE. No questions asked, don't even ring it into the register. Just let them come in and walk out with it. We were supposed to treat them with the "utmost respect".

This person finally came in about a week later (Remember, they NEEDED it in seven days). Funny enough, they left the slip behind as "proof" they were right. The "Seven day guarantee" part was circled all right. In pencil. We didn't keep pencils behind the counter or next to the ordering station. It was all bullshit, and our evil but intensely stupid DSM fell for it.

[rcrush]

16. I love the stupid district managers.

Who show up once a week and wander around bitches about peoples nametags and socks while we are in the middle of a rush. They also send everyone who emails some sort of complaint free coupons and just love to give away free shit to idiot customers.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

17. Yup......

That same witch (who I only actually met twice) told the new manager who wanted me as his assistant manager that I was lazy and would never be promoted to anything. This after I single-handedly saved their holiday kiosk the year before, and was the only kiosk manager in the area who actually called in sales numbers every single night and tabulated them correctly. Basically, the home office loved her because she had everyone in fear of her, spying on everyone and the head honchos not knowing about it.

I quit after the lazy bullshit.....right in the middle of the next holiday season!

Sorry.......I still have issues.

[rcrush]

18. Oh hell.

This one time when they decided to cut our theatres payroll budget in the middle of a holiday week I was getting slammed during a peak hour so I had everyone working but there was no one available to stand around the lobby and 'look like a manager'. I was busy manning the customer service desk because I had to put that guy on a register. So our District Manager walks in for a 'surprise visit' and walks around for awhile and then leaves. The next day my boss tells me that the DM said that I didnt look like I was in control cause everyone was so overwelmed during the rush. I was like 'no shit? they take away half our staff and then they are upset that we are overwelmed during a rush?'


Apparantly that 15 min visit was enough time in that district managers mind to put me on his 'bad manager' list and ensure I'd never move up in the company.

[Broken_Hero]

19. I experienced number 5 and 2

all, the freakin time....I would just love it, when they would ask for some off the wall condiment for the sandwich, like tarter sauce...I'd run across the store to get it, come back...and the customer would be gone...what a waste

The procrastinator is a classic....taking 10 minutes to decide....yep, I'll take the chicken strips, thanks for waiting on me for so long...