What is a good marital art to learn?

[MineralMan]

TeeHee...

[TZ]

1. The Kama Sutra...

oh and IBTL...:evilgrin:

[MineralMan]

2. I was thinking more along the lines of

politeness or sympathy, but what the heck...

[MineralMan]

3. I like the marital art of

Honido. It applies to many things.

[Bake]

4. Repeat after me:

"Yes, dear."

"You're right, dear."

"No, that dress does not make you look fat."

Repeat as necessary.

Bake

[MineralMan]

5. Boy, you got that third one right...

My first wife asked me once if a particular dress made her look fat.

I said, "It's not the dress, dear."

She became my ex-wife. :bounce:

[Bake]

6. Holy crap! I'm glad you lived to tell it!

Still, that was expensive, wasn't it.

BAke

[MineralMan]

7. No worries. I'm an expert in a martial art.

[driver8]

34. Ha Ha -- you got that right!!

Now if I just applied those things to my own life...things would go a lot smoother for me!

[Inchworm]

8. I was gonna copycat this

Until I saw "Karma Sutra" and checked the spelling :D

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

9. Cunnilingus.

[bicentennial_baby]

10. Beat me to it!

And yes, that's pretty much it. If you can master that, you can get away with almost anything. :D

[Forkboy]

12. Every guy should be good. It's not like practice sucks.

:shrug:

[bicentennial_baby]

13. There's really no excuse for doing it poorly...none

And yeah, who doesn't like the practice? :bounce:

[Forkboy]

14. Hell, enthusiasm covers half the battle.

:P

I learned from Kinison, just lick the alphabet.... :yoiks:

[bicentennial_baby]

16. !!!

:spray:

and, :patriot:

:D

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. It's such an ugly word, though

I think we should call it "bunnies." Sounds so much nicer. :)

[Forkboy]

22. "Heaven" works for me.

:D

[Bake]

11. OK, now I'm definitely IBTL ...

:rofl:

Bake

[Forkboy]

15. The thread was begging for that reply.

Damn the torpedoes!

:evilgrin:

[redqueen]

18. ...

:thumbsup:

And IBTL. :)

[trof]

20. What's an Irish airline got to do with this thread?

IBTL
;-)

[Forkboy]

21. .....

:spray:

[Debi]

24. YAY!!

:patriot:

[Forkboy]

27. That's my reaction, too!

:evilgrin:

[guitar man]

17. "hall sex"

:rofl:

[petronius]

23. I don't know, but passive-aggressive dickishness tends not to do

me any good. Who knew? (Maybe I'm doing it wrong...) :shrug:

[LeftyMom]

25. The apology.

[Forkboy]

28. Ooo, very Zen.

:)

[trof]

26. The art of bringing flowers.

Works every time.
No woman doesn't like flowers.
:-)

[Bake]

31. Two things a man can NEVER go wrong with ...

Roses. Red ones.

Diamonds.

Guaranteed.

Bake

[mcctatas]

29. How to find a good divorce lawyer...

[BarenakedLady]

32. *high five*

:fistbump:

[Debi]

37. !

:hug:

[Mike 03]

30. Sword Form (samurai). But it's difficult to find a teacher.

Most of the other martial arts are easier to learn or even teach yourself, but sword form is more difficult.

[Debi]

39. Um....

:shrug:

[driver8]

33. Keeping your mouth shut...

perhaps the most difficult marital art to learn!

[RandomThoughts]

35. I like this these two.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7J6dRkJjOI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUPaigOxAi8

Also the knowledge of trip wires is a good skill.

[LaraMN]

36. How to hide large items you bought inside a small purse upon return from the store.

I can pretty much smoosh a complete outfit into my wallet.
Almost.

[AlCzervik]

38. Lol! "Oh this, i've had this for a long time, it's not new"

:rofl:

[LaraMN]

41. Not only do I use that line, but I usually deliver it w/ a p.o.'d tone,

as if to say, "How could you NOT remember this attractive item I have on! Didn't you ever NOTICE me wearing it before?!"

[AlCzervik]

42. that's how you sell it! "My god you never pay any attention!"

:thumbsup:

[Debi]

40. "It was on sale...you can't believe how much money I saved"

:7

[Forkboy]

44. Why you sneaky woman!

Men never do shit like that. Why, you won't find a more upfront, honest and open bunch of humans than men.

[MineralMan]

43. I am gratified to see that my marital arts thread

outlasted the martial arts one I copycatted. I am, however, surprised that there is only one post that mistook this thread for the other.

Copycat threads rule!

[Orsino]

45. Dish Kwan Do or Laundry Fu.

Master these, and you're golden.