Why am I not famous and insanely successful?

[baby_mouse]

How dysfunctional does this Universe have to be to result in a person of my extraordinary personal qualities not being famous and intensely rich?

Point me in the direction of the appropriate sub-department. I intend to sue.

[Heidi]

1. Give it time. You're just a baby

_mouse. :hug:

[baby_mouse]

6. I appreciate your kindness.

When I am disgustingly rich I shall open a restaurant in your name! And you shall have DISCOUNTS.

[Skittles]

2. you just need a solid ass-kicking, baby

I will oblige

[Sultana]

3. Make a sex tape

:D

[sarge43]

4. You hang out in the DU Lounge and people know this.

It's always a deal breaker.

[Chan790]

5. What skills do you possess?

Are you willing to take your clothes off and be smeared with foul substances?
Have you ever pondered being caught in flagrante delicto in grainy footage on a handy cam?
Maybe you could get your own reality show?
Perhaps you should be attacked by bees?
Do you have a catch phrase? I think the old The State sketch-bit "I want to dip my balls in it!" is in the public domain.
The way I see it, there is a wide opening for someone to do an emo/screamo cover of Rick Astley's "Never Going to Give You Up".

I find that if all one wants out of life is to be famous and insanely successful (but not at or for anything in particular) one should ask oneself a simple question every-time a life situation arises everyday...WWPHD?

What Would Paris Hilton Do?

[baby_mouse]

8. I want to be PROPERLY famous and LEGITIMATELY successful

Not notorious and successful by accident!!!!

Being smeared with foul substances sounds fun though.

[BarenakedLady]

7. Life ain't fair

Suck it up.

:P