What are the best foods to take to a bereaved family?

[OhioBlue]

My SO's uncle died suddenly yesterday. It's very sad - he was in his late 40's and they think it was a heart attack. SO's aunt will be having a houseful of people coming in from other States. I was thinking of taking a lunch meat & cheese tray - to help her feed all of her house guests, but I also wanted to make some kind of casserole to take to them for dinner tonight. I make a good lasagna - but maybe that is a little too spicy for upset tummys, or maybe it is good comfort food?

I was also trying to think of something that would be handy that she wouldn't have to worry about refrigerating, but I'm coming up with a blank.

What foods do you usually deliver or have found the most practical and appreciated?

[Bertha Venation]

1. I think the cold cuts tray is a great idea. Remember a loaf of bread.

Lasagna is good, too. Fried chicken always comes in handy. My guess is the family won't be tasting much, but they do need good nutrition, so unless you take nothing but pizza and burgers, just about anything will doo just fine. Casseroles always a winner.

You're a good egg. :)

[OhioBlue]

3. Thanks. Yes - I definitely don't want to forget the bread.

[lunatica]

2. Don't worry about refrigeration

The longer the food lasts the better for the bereaved. It allows them space to grieve and takes the burden off trying to feed the guests. There will be lots of food and people will eat and nibble constantly. Your idea of cold cuts and cheese is also good for that reason. Take crackers and dips too.

[OhioBlue]

5. crackers and dips are a great idea.

I think we have several mixes at home and all I need is some cream cheese. Yes - I would expect a lot of munching rather than meals. She will have at least 9 house guests. And additional people that will be there during the day.

[Bertha Venation]

4. by the way, I forgot

My sincere condolences to your SO and to you.

[OhioBlue]

6. thank you Bertha.

:hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

7. I'll usually bring a grocery bag of different kinds of sandwiches.

PB&J for the kids, a few combinations of deli selections on different breads for the adults.

I like the whole "pre-made/pre-cooked, no mess, help yourself, single serving, travels well" concept. Someone did this for my family a number of years ago and it was so well-received by everyone that it is what I do for others now.

Sorry for your/SO's loss.

[Bertha Venation]

8. great idea, D.A. n/t

[Bunny]

9. When my dad died, someone brought us a sandwich platter from Subway.

It was really appreciated. Also, my uncle brought us a ham, which was nice too. We got a couple of meals out of that in the days between when he died and when we buried him.

[OhioBlue]

10. That is a good idea. I think I'll do wraps and cut them up

for small bite-sized servings.

I liked the practicality of the meat tray - but I really have this need to "make" stuff. I think the wraps will be perfect - helps w/ my OCD feeling of needing to do... and fits into the "pre-made/pre-cooked, no mess, help yourself, single serving, travels well" concept.


Thanks for your suggestion.

[LiberalEsto]

11. Mac and cheese

is a good comforting casserole. It can be kept in the refrigerator and heated up one or two servings at a time.

A container of fruit like bite-sized melon pieces and grapes is nice.

[gblady]

19. yeah......

mac and cheese was what I was going to suggest....
the ultimate comfort food, IMHO.
((())))'s for SO and family.

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. Casseroles, meat loaf. Anything that can be sectioned up and frozen. The ladies of

church did that for us when mom died. It was nice, after that first week or two when people stopped coming around so much, to be able to just go to the freezer for dinner since I still didn't feel like cooking.

[MrsBrady]

13. bring paper plates, disposable cups, napkins

that really saved me so much work, you have no idea

any kind of casserole is good.
cold cuts are great.

when my grandmother died, we had 20+ family members to feed 3 times a day for four days.
and we also had people coming over to the house non stop.
my mother asked me to be in charge of the kitchen so that she and her sisters could greet everyone.
I was happy to help, but that was literally the most work I have ever done in my life.


things that people brought that I found helpful were
coffee, cokes,
things that could be put in the oven or the microwave to be reheated


oh, if you can afford to bring breakfast food - get a couple dozen eggs and some sausage or bacon, or something like that
that is helpful for breakfast.

[OhioBlue]

14. Thank you. that is a really good idea

I think I will bring a bag of paper products as you suggested.

Perhaps I'll get some T.P. and trash bags as well. With all the extra guests - she'll probably go through it quickly. I think I'll just sneak the T.P. in the bathroom when I get there.

[MrsBrady]

16. yea....

when you have so many people over at the house...
I couldn't believe that we went through that kind of stuff so much.

I was taking the trash out (or my husband did to help me), about 3 times a day.
Luckily they have the kind of thing where there is a small dumpster for every two-three houses in the alley.

you are sweet to help out.
I'm sorry for your family's loss.

[hippywife]

18. Try not to over do it.

There will no doubt be others who will bring stuff, like neighbors, friends, other relatives. I always forget this and think I need to bring every single thing they will need.

A meat and cheese tray and some nice rolls or different types of bread to eat it on is fine. Maybe small jars of mustard and mayo. Ask the folks who are doing your tray to also do a lettuce, sliced tomato and onion tray as well. Throw in a bag or two of chips, a few cartons of potato and macaroni salad. That will make a pretty complete lunch and allow others space to make a contribution, too.

If there is anything in short supply, and nothing else appears forthcoming, then you can kick into action to take care of it if you really want to do more.

My condolences. :hug:

[Arugula Latte]

15. If kids are in the picture, a large casserole dish of homemade mac 'n' cheese would be appreciated.

Soup is also a good choice. People can heat it in small batches in the microwave.

[tigereye]

17. nice casserole - with some cheese. Or lasagna. Easy to heat.

I think that is good comfort food.

[applegrove]

20. My mom always cooked a big ham for whichever family. They can nibble on it for days.

But it needs the refridgerator.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

21. When a friend's husband died, I brought over a tray of assorted cut-up fruit

prepared by one of our local supermarkets. The advantage was that the fruit could be either part of a meal or a healthy snack.

[SOteric]

22. My sincere condolences on your family's loss.

I think the sandwich tray sounds just perfect. When my brother passed recently we hadn't much in the way of an appetite, we had a lot of visitors to deal with and his widow was in no condition. We nibbled from sandwich trays when we had the time and that seemed to just do the trick for everyone.

[grannylib]

23. The best food I remember after our daughter died was when someone

called us up about a week after, and we had been eating casseroles and sandwiches and cake for a week straight, and he said, "I bet you're sick of hotdish and funeral food; I'm calling Pizza Ranch to send some stuff over. What kind of pizza do you like?" and they delivered pizza and chicken and dessert pizza and it was the kindest thing ever, and I bawled.
Not to disparage the lovely and generous people who made all the other stuff and brought us food during that horrible time, but I'll never forget pizza night.

[Broken_Hero]

24. When I worked for the cafeteria of -edit

my hometown hospital, I would always to have make trays/food items for families that just lost loved ones....

We(as in my boss) had a definate list of foods to bring

Cookies, Pepperidge Farms

Coffee/Tea

Soda/diet soda

sandwiches, ham, turkey

veggie tray

Cold cut combo tray with crackers


The worst I ever had, was a family lost its newborn kid, about four hours after he was born...I had to roll the cart into the OB for the family, and the amount of...sadness, was...overpowering.

ETA:sorry about your loss...:hug:

[davsand]

25. I respectfully suggest you skip ham.

When my Dad died we had ham out the butt. We appreciated everyone that was there for us during that time but we really DID just have too much ham.

Stuff that people brought us that stood out?

A big pot of Beef Vegetable soup.
A plate of Turkey sandwiches.
Desserts.
A pot of Chili (mild--like a restaurant would serve--skip the peppers but take a bottle of hot sauce.)
Sliced Roast Beef with cheese served on dollar rolls with a honey mustard spread.

Look for stuff that can be served or eaten AS IS. Skip anything that takes too much work to prep or serve because nobody wants to be doing that kind of work and nobody has time or energy for it.

A big thing of paper plates, napkins and plastic silverware is good.
A couple of bags of chips.
Dip
A Veggie tray
A bunch of cookies (break and bake is fine--nobody will notice)

Something that I will NEVER forget was the neighbor that brought us a bunch of purse packs of kleenex. She just tucked those in with her food and they were SO handy.

Do NOT take any kind of container or plate that has to be returned. IF it can only be transported in a container you want back make SURE you label it in a way that will withstand washing and drying.

Something that one neighbor did for us was to start a list of who brought what. She just put it in the kitchen and we noted who dropped off what so we could mention it or specifically talk about it in the thank you note. You do NOT remember anything too clearly for the largest part of that time...

My sympathies on your loss.


Laura