Do you ever "Google" former lovers?

[LuckyTheDog]

I don't know why, but... I just got an urge to Google an old girlfriend I was very serious about nearly 20 years ago. We had what was (for me) a devastating breakup.

Anyhow, I was looking up some folks and put the old girlfriend's name into Google along with her last-known city. I ended up seeing part (but not all) of her Facebook profile, which included a picture. And... let's just say that... well... the years have not been kind to her.

It's terribly petty of me, I know. But, finding out that the woman who broke your heart went on to REALLY let herself go is not exactly the most unpleasant thing one can experience.

Has anyone else ever taken a "cyber peek" at an old lover?

[shanti]

1. sure have

found the first boy i ever kissed (6th grade). he's married, plays golf, and is in a classic rock band. funny thing - we both moved away from the OC to norcal.

i would never contact him tho.

[LuckyTheDog]

2. And the person I mentioned...

... also will not be contacted.

[flvegan]

3. Yep, my first girlfriend.

After we broke up, she had a very, very tough few years. She got hurt due to another's negligence, but went on to become of the profession that she so desired to be a part of. I'm thrilled to death for her, but she'll never know it.

[W_HAMILTON]

41. Why don't you tell her?

Don't you think she'd be happy to hear from you?

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. I think I did a year ago, so I'm up-to-date for at least another decade.

Took another quick glance, and nothing new, so I was right!

[LeftyMom]

5. NO. Don't know, don't care.

Though I figure one day I'll get some sort of official notification when he dies. Crazy fuck.

[DarkTirade]

6. No, but I did find one on Myspace back when they first introduced the 'search by school' feature.

Totally not someone I'd be interested in dating now, so I didn't bother to say hi. :shrug: I was just looking for people I knew in high school in general, wasn't looking for anyone specifically.

[LisaL]

7. I've tried to look up some of my old friends but I can't find them.

So I have no clue as to what they are doing.

[XemaSab]

8. For sure

He married a girl and had a bunch of kids, but she turned out to be a bigamist so it was annulled.

All in the space of about 4 years. :shrug:

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Ha! Win! I just did, b/c of this thread and

I found the person I was looking for! It's my old friend from Pgh who was a lover for a time, but more of a friend than anything. Couldn't find him for the longest time, but there he was. Sweet.

:)

As for the others, I don't need to look them up. They seem to follow me, near and far. :P

[eauclaireliberal]

10. No its kind of feels like stalking

..unless of course, that is something I'm in the mood to do.

[LisaL]

11. No, stalking would be finding out where the live, then following them

around. Looking up information someone put out there for everyone to see is not stalking.

[hunter]

12. I don't have any former lovers. My wife's the one and only.

I did once cross paths with the nearest to a former lover I ever had, and it shocked us both so much that we pretended not to know one another because the last time we ever talked I jumped out of her moving car and slid down the street. I got some minor scars from the road rash, but the scars on my soul were worse. She stopped just long enough to see I wasn't dead, or maybe she was thinking about going back to run me over until I was dead, but later on she sent me all my stuff in a box, no note, no explanation.

We'd both seen enough of one another at our very, very worst.

I know she's happy and that makes me happy, even though the relationship we shared was a most unfortunate accident.

[wain]

64. Yikes, I once got a box too

always a pretty good sign that it's over!

[Skittles]

13. no but they sure have a habit of f***ing finding ME

out of dozens, there's only one I wanted to hear from

[Drunken Irishman]

14. I wish I had a memory, because I'd like to look up the first real relationship I had.

But I can't remember her fucking last name. How pathetic is that?

I do remember the girl I kissed for the first time. Melissa Apperson. I believe we were in the third grade.

But I don't think she has a Facebook, unless one of these two girls has a little girl, which is possible, but who knows.

[LisaL]

29. And maybe its for the best.

In my experience people change so much sometimes, and not just appearance. There is nothing in common anymore.

[Withywindle]

15. Yup, just for curiosity's sake.

Most of the ones I've found seem to be doing well and I wish them all the best. But the one I want to track down the most, I can't find! (He has a very common name, and all the ones I've found aren't him. :( I hope he's all right.)

[clyrc]

16. I used to goole lots of friends I wondered about, but now they are all on Face Book

There is a former boyfriend of mine who seems to follow everything I do online. He tipped his hand once and sent me a link to a post on DU where I mentioned him, although not by name, and he let me know how furious he was because what I wrote was not how he remembered things. I was a little surprised and a little angry, and I thought he was mostly making a big deal over nothing. He is on Face Book too, and he added me as a friend, but recently he unfriended me.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

17. Isn't that what Google is for?

My ex told me "Oh by the way....I have a MySpace page......". I almost said "Yeah, I know..."

And of course, she still looks as fantastic as she did at 19. ;(

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

18. My first girlfriend has the most common name in the world

so no success yet.

[harmonicon]

19. yes, and others have done the same to me

.... and boy, am I glad!! Generally, I try not to, especially with recent girlfriends. I know my last girlfriend's website (her name . com), and her myspace, and it's fucking hard not to look at them, but I don't think that's what you mean. A few years ago I looked up the person who had been my last girlfriend at that time, and I wasn't too impressed.... she seemed fine, but it seemed like I was right in thinking that she and I wanted very different things out of life, and that it was best for us to break up (it had been a very hard decision at the time).

This year, my first girlfriend, from when we were 16, looked me up, but couldn't find out how to get ahold of me, so she dropped off her phone number at my parents' house. We hadn't seen each other in 8 or 9 years, and hadn't really seen each other for like 13 years (when we were 17 or 18). When I was home for Christmas last week, I gave her a call, and when she came into town to see her family, we got together and went out for drinks. It was fantastic.... she's a really terrific person, and I don't think we would have ever crossed paths if we hadn't known one another in the past, which would have been a shame, because I had a great time with her. I thought that it might be very awkward, and it was a little, but mostly it was very comfortable.... it's a lot easier to talk to someone if you already know their family and their entire childhood history - a lot of boring crap is already out of the way. So, the next day, we went out again, and again had a great time.... and agreed that it was very sad that I had to leave the next day (which was yesterday), and might not see each other ever again :(

Especially tough, but also very nice, encouraging, and heartwarming, is that we either still, or anew, have tremendous feelings of warmth and attraction for each other. *sigh* Anyway.... I don't think I want another girlfriend right now, and especially a long distance one... we'll see if we stay in touch. At least this time we parted with a hug and a kiss, and not with me being driven by her to the hospital after smashing a glass picture frame and getting horribly cut with it and bleeding everywhere. Man, kids are dumb.... she felt like she had to apologize for certain things from when we went out, but I told her that it was silly. I don't think it was the amount of time that had passed, but that we were just kids when we were in our teenage kind of love, that makes me think anything that happened is forgotten/forgiven. I don't think I'd be so forgiving about other relationships, since there are things any 16 year old should be forgiven for, but no 25 year old should.

Fuck.... that turned out to be a long post. Oh well.

[mcctatas]

20. Don't have too...

they're all on facebook. Maybe I should start a group for them :evilgrin:

[LisaL]

21. I think by "googling" the poster meant whether you looked them up.

So looking them up on facebook would qualify as "googling."

[mcctatas]

22. They just appeared....

probably because we all have the same friends and went to the same schools, but thanks for the clarification.

[MorningGlow]

23. Just one, years ago

He had his own Web site so it was pretty easy to locate him. He moved far away and seems to be doing well (house, girlfriend, good job, etc.) I didn't contact him--I wasn't interested. And surprisingly (because I'm usually such a nosy person!) I'm not interested in finding out what the rest of the exes are up to (not that there are that many)--not even the one I almost got engaged to. :shrug:

About five years ago my peers and I hit the peculiar age where men wonder where their old relationships went astray, so some guys (exes, near misses, and never-weres) contacted me to reenact High Fidelity--"what happened to us", analyzing the breakup, etc. It was weird. Seems to have tapered off, though, thank goodness.

[redqueen]

24. Just one.

And I really cared about him, so it didn't make me happy that he'd "let himself go", despite the fact that he did break my heart. I still found him adorable as ever.

I wonder if the fact that I "let myself go" makes any of my exes happy.

[KansDem]

25. A couple...

1) My first real romance (1970s). She's now an CPA, has a private pilot's license, used to own a small cafe but now teaches cooking classes, not married and lives in Glendora, California.

2) Last year I stopped by to visit with an old friend from the late 1960s/early 1970s. I found her name on an online college directory. She's now in administration at a community college in southern California. I was out there on family business and stopped in to say "hello." We have occasionally exchanged emails during this year.

We were never "boyfriend/girlfriend" but we would talk constantly on the phone from roughly 1967 to 1972. I stopped by her house a few times and took her out on a date once. Then I moved away to college and lost track. I really cherished her friendship. In fact, looking back, I think we might have been "boyfriend/girlfriend" and didn't realize it. I believe now she was and still is my one and only love!
:loveya:

edited for clarity

[redqueen]

26. Oh oh oh oh wait... I also googled a crush.

I had the biggest crush on this guy in my freshman year of HS. I googled him and he's gone on to do great things.

[tigereye]

34. that's so cool isn't it?

One of my friends from high school (all their dads were college profs, oddly, ended up as a geological engineer) There was a cool pic of him standing on a large outcropping with his pick and hard-hat. He was a great guy, and he looked so happy! It was cool.

[redqueen]

37. Yeah it is...

no pics of this guy, sadly. Magna Cum Laude at Harvard and some work for NASA are enough to tickle my fancy though. :)

[dysfunctional press]

27. well, duh...isn't that what the intertubes are for?

:shrug:

[MineralMan]

28. I tried once....but

I don't visit porn sites.

[frogmarch]

30. Yes! I found out that

my most serious old bf raises pigs in Iowa - but I was even more horrified (and relieved I didn't marry him) to learn he's a repuke. :thumbsdown:

[unpossibles]

31. I'm still friends with most of them

except the one or two who hate me

[tigereye]

32. yes, one is a CTO of a software firm in California

Another one is a recovering accountant in California and another one is a non-recovering engineer in California. There seems to be a pattern here, somehow. And another one has been married 4 times already!



I don't know what happened to the one who was a born-again nuclear engineer. Can't seem to remember how to spell his last name! :rofl:

[HEyHEY]

33. I'm amazed that in a year and a half I've not look at her facebook profile once

And I don't plan on it.

[Rockholm]

35. Yes..and Facebook them too.

[mnhtnbb]

36. I just today had an e-mail from an old flame wanting a new snail mail address for me.

And I do mean old--from over 40 years ago!

[W_HAMILTON]

40. How'd you react?

I'm kinda in the same situation, so I'm curious :)

I guess I would be the "old flame" in that scenario. It's been about 10 years since I last saw them.

What'd you think when you heard from them?

[mnhtnbb]

56. I've heard from this person before. He found me on the 'tubes' and sent

an e-mail asking if I was who I am about two years ago. I'd been in touch with him from time to time over the years.

What burned me, though, was after he found me, he declined to write about what had happened in his life since we'd last been in touch--probably 10 or 15 years previously. He'd been divorced and remarried
and wouldn't tell? That's no fun.

So this time I just sent him my address and wished him happy new year.

[KamaAina]

38. Well, I would, but...

I haven't had any since the Internets were a top-secret classified military project. :(

[Ivan Sputnik]

39. Yeah, sure

and not just lovers -- friends that have drifted away too. I'm not sure that kind of idle curiosity is healthy if you don't intend to contact them. Usually, when I find out what they're up to, I either think "what did I ever see in that person?" or "I wish we were still friends." But I do it anyway.

[supernova]

42. My Ex is on Facebook

and apparently remarried recently.


I wish him well and hope that he treats her better than he treated me.

But I have no interest in renewing contact with him.

[Rob H.]

43. Earlier this year, Googled a girl I dated briefly in high school

and discovered that she died(!) three years ago. I know it was her because there was a pic along with her obituary and she had a uniquely-spelled middle name. :(

Edited to add: she was only 35.

[Lorien]

44. Yes. I haven't found a photo of him, but I have read some of his short stories

online, and by those he hasn't changed at all over the years.

[underpants]

45. No but I once stumbled onto a pic that HAD to be her

it was rather artistic really (in front of a giant speaker) but I couldn't see her face

:shrug:

[femmocrat]

46. I have tried, but no luck.

I just wonder where he is. I don't plan to contact him.

[Mari333]

47. yes, and they look even more decrepit then me. nt

[InvisibleTouch]

48. Sure ... and, like you...

...I'm not necessarily displeased to learn that one individual, in particular, hasn't had the greatest life. ;)

[supernova]

51. My Ex's Wife #2 looks much older than me!

}(

It's petty of me, I know. but sheez, she looks like 40 year olds used to look.

[BeachBaby]

49. Haven't had to. They keep finding me instead. eom.

[crimsonblue]

50. thanks to this stupid OP

I googled a former g/f and also spent 4 hours reviewing archives of a defunct blog I had at the time. Thanks for making me feel like crap. :P

[kayakjohnny]

52. Are they calling that 'google' now? Sheesh, what's next? Well then, I guess I do.

[mentalsolstice]

53. A perverse curiosity, eh?

I'm guilty. Pretty much same story as yours, we were together for 3 years in the early 80s, with a lot of volatile break-ups and make-ups, until it culminated in a vicious break-up. He still looks the same, but through local online court records, I've discerned that he's on his 4th marriage (I was between wife one and two). And he very recently suffered a major tragedy, one that I would never wish on any person, ever. So, I'm not surprised at his marital record, given our history together, btw, I'm still on my first marriage (19 years together, hopefully a lasting one). Obviously, I'm not the only woman snookered by him, and I feel sorry for the others and the current one...you've got to wonder about someone who marries a person after so many other divorces.

However, the tragedy in his life was heartbreaking to discover.

[Mabus]

54. LOL, yes and for good reason.

I have an ex that stalks me. I can tell where he is by the number of calls I get from a particular area code. I occasionally google him just to make sure that he's living where the phone calls are coming from. So far, it is either a giant coincidence that I would get calls from NH when he lived in NH, calls from Montana when he lived in Montana and now calls from Washington now that he lives there.

He's so weird. When we broke up he gave me a bill for all the presents he had bought me. It was an itemized bill (what and why it was purchased, if it had been gift wrapped and how much it cost). The total - after three and a half years of shacking up with him - was less than $150, so I wrote him a check. And, fwiw, every few years or so he sends me a long letter telling me how much I broke his heart followed by a short letter telling me that I'm a whore.

I just like to know where he is from time to time.

[abq e streeter]

55. Twice ever, one of 'em only because I heard she was newly divorced.

I'd never stopped "carrying a torch' for her (after nearly 20 years) and thought she might be easy to find because the guy she'd married had become if not famous, then cult-artist-level famous. No luck though, even though later on one of my friends became the guy's next door neighbor in Texas, but absolutely refused to ever ask him about her whereabouts. Sigh....... oh yeah, the other was an old college friend I'd had a crush on , and was just curious as to what had become of her; no luck finding anything there either.

[BarenakedLady]

57. Sure

Didn't find anything though. Plus he shares a name with a famous person. I know what most of my other ex's are up to though.

[Wapsie B]

63. Don't all ex's live in Texas?

Or am I confusing things with the song? :P

[bikebloke]

58. Mostly past acquaintances

I was curious as to how they fared with ageing. A couple appeared to be in training for a Jabba the Hutt look-alike contest. I suspect most of the women from long ago, had name changes with marriage.
I found a lass I fancied in high school and barely recognized her. In Facebook, I couldn't find anyone from my year.

[Enrique]

59. i just did one

I found three news stories about how she's trying to get a stop sign put up at an intersection she sees as dangerous.

[regnaD kciN]

60. Doesn't everybody...?

And not just ex-partners, either, but friends and "shoulda been" partners (I think you all know what I mean).

It's a lot easier for straight women or gay guys, though. Generally, a male will keep the name he's always had, but most women (be they ex-partners/friends/"shoulda"s) still change their name when they marry, and I usually don't know what their new last name is.

The weirdest experience I had was once to google my first lover, using her maiden name, and only find a link to a news story from her local paper about her high-school debating team -- written at least a couple of years before she and I met.

[FloridaJudy]

61. Sure.

Unfortunately, most of them have names as common as mine. My first boyfriend shares a name with a popular soap opera character: a gazillion hits on Google, and none of them his.

[Wapsie B]

62. Oh yeah.

Haven't really done it in depth to the point of really finding anything. Then to me there's also this dog chasing car aspect of it all. When you find something then what? I suppose in rare cases it could lead to a reconnection of sorts if the two people still had feelings for each other.

[poiuytsister]

65. I got half way thru this thread last night and thought "why not?"

I looked up my first boyfriend and found his band's website with a "contact us" link. I sent a message and he emailed me back a couple hours later. It was really nice to hear from him, for the first time since...1970? Holy Shit, now I feel old.