If anyone needs any free legal advice

[flvegan]

apparently, I'm a lawyer today*. At least that's what my agents and underwriting counsel think. My last call was advice on a short sale contract, woo hoo!

So, since I'm a lawyer today, and feeling mighty generous, I'll be happy to give anyone a free, online, no-obligation consultation that, unless it's related to real estate title, you should ignore completely. So please, ask away!




*No offense to the real lawyers of the world that worked hard to obtain that position/level.

[suninvited]

1. How much evidence do they have to have against me

before I can be charged?

[flvegan]

3. I'm glad you came to me with this.

None. You can be charged with almost anything without any evidence. Just ask the folks in prison. They're all innocent.

[suninvited]

23. Naturally.

So am I .

[motely36]

2. Can I sue midlodemocrat for harrassment?

or anything else?

:shrug:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8335387

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Go for it, freeper.

[motely36]

6. ah, crap

:hide:

[flvegan]

7. I'm glad you came to me with this.

I think what you'd get the most out of is a suit for a Tort she committed against you: speaking to you in the tongue of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, the French. I'd ask the court for treble damages, considering she used the same phrase twice.

[MrCoffee]

5. What are Florida's laws prohibiting the practice of law without a license?

If you could cite the statute, that would be super.

[MrCoffee]

10. Hint: Title XXXII Chapter 454 Sec. 454.33

Any person not licensed or otherwise authorized to practice law in this state who practices law in this state or holds himself or herself out to the public as qualified to practice law in this state, or who willfully pretends to be, or willfully takes or uses any name, title, addition, or description implying that he or she is qualified, or recognized by law as qualified, to practice law in this state, commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.


http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0454/SEC23.HTM&Title=->2008->Ch0454->Section%2023#0454.23

[flvegan]

12. I'm glad you came to me with this.

FS 454.23 Penalties.--Any person not licensed or otherwise authorized to practice law in this state who practices law in this state or holds himself or herself out to the public as qualified to practice law in this state, or who willfully pretends to be, or willfully takes or uses any name, title, addition, or description implying that he or she is qualified, or recognized by law as qualified, to practice law in this state, commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

Why?

[MrCoffee]

13. No reason, willful pretender.

[flvegan]

17. Hey

I said "no offense".

[Tom Kitten]

8. Can I change my user name without losing my post count?

I was thinking of changing it to Thom Kitten...either that or Fluffy Kitten...

[flvegan]

14. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Buddy up to admin, or at least buy Elad a car.

[Tom Kitten]

28. How did you know?

I've met Elad and he lives in a hilly part of my town, usa...Shouldn't I buy him a bike with treads instead of tires, just for times of year like this? Isn't that not cost effective?

[flvegan]

30. He might like that.

[quakerboy]

9. how do liens work

And is the bastardized nursing home going to be satisfied with putting one on my gmas house, or will they try to squeeze money from an old lady who keeps wanting to watch TV to make sure the astronauts make it back from space(not just any astronauts, mind you, the first ones) who has no money left.

[flvegan]

15. Hey, I can actually answer this.

Is the property in Florida/what state?

[quakerboy]

42. Oregon.

[flvegan]

43. Well, we're back to me being worthless.

In Florida, a lien of this sort (other than a hospital lien against pending judgment) can be foreclosed if a Lis Pendens is filed within a year of the recording of the lien. Oregon? No idea.

Might be worth talking to a real attorney about this, though. Seriously.

[quakerboy]

49. Yeah...

I'm not in charge. I am just trying to help the totally overwhelmed aunt who is now POA and been summoned to a "mediation" sometime next month.

What is a "Lis Pendens", and what is a lien, and would a bill from a long term residential/retirement home be classified as a hospital lien?

Alternately, what do you know about death and the resulting issues. For instance, if someone dies, and there is no money whatsoever, how is the disposition of the body dealt with?

[flvegan]

52. Again, in Florida

a Lis Pendens is public notice that litigation has been brought against a person and parcel (or plural). It's the public record that a Complaint has been filed and a civil case is now in court. A lien is public notice of some sort of outstanding interest in a person or piece of property. To become a lien on property, it has to be recorded in the public records of the county the property exists in. Retirement homes may have specific rights to lien property, depending upon the agreement to home the person (I only know that from personal experience).

As for the disposition of the body, I have no clue.

Honestly, it would be worth the consultation with a lawyer it seems for your aunt.

[Bake]

11. Practicing law without a license is a crime, buster!

So don't make a practice of it!

Bake, Esq.

[flvegan]

19. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Which is why I would never recommend actually doing so to anyone. Besides, a lot of hard working mucho dinero paying folks sacrificed a great deal to get that Esq after their names, and it's not fair to them.

[Dangerously Amused]

16. If I yell "FIRE!" in a crowded seminar, but the seminar is TOTALLY F'ING WORTHLESS to begin with,

...can I claim temporary insanity?

Please?


Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese?


:cry:

[flvegan]

20. I'm glad you came to me with this.

You could also plead that you were merely showing great excitement for the PHYRE (Protein Homology/analogY Recognition Engine) program.

[Dangerously Amused]

21. I'm going to blame it on the juice. :D

[eyesroll]

27. Was it a video CLE?

In that case, it's almost mandatory. :boring:

[Dangerously Amused]

31. HowEVER did you guess????

:hi:

:boring:

[eyesroll]

36. Because *I* was about to stab myself or some of the other attendees with a fork

at the last video CLE I attended. (Something on commercial real estate. I remember NONE OF IT. I'm still a student so I can go for free, and my boss sometimes sends me to gather the information.)

[Dangerously Amused]

40. Stab your boss. Seriously. He obviously is trying to kill you first.

A long, drawn out, painful death at that. Bugger! Maybe he has one of those Walmart life insurance policies on you. :scared:

[Bucky]

18. I would like to copyright the word "the" and retire on the royalties.

Of course I'd allow oral use of "the" free of charge and allow non-profit entities to use my proprietary definite article free of charge, provided they acknowledge my generosity somewhere on their websites.

But what arguments can you give me for removing the word "the" from the public domain and having it declared my exclusive intellectual property?

[flvegan]

22. I'm glad you came to me with this.

The biggest argument I could give you is to consider the ease in which alphabetizing books and whatnot would be, when they do indeed have a title starting in "The". You don't have to file under the second word, because the second word is now the first.

[LaraMN]

24. "Public Lewdness" isn't a real legal charge, right?

I'm trying to plan out my weekend...

[flvegan]

25. I'm glad you came to me with this.

That depends on exactly what you're thinking of doing. Tell me exactly, and please...do so very slowly.

[eyesroll]

26. I am a lawyer working for the Department of Justice.

My superior has just asked me to write instructions for DOJ field agents to be able to circumvent laws and 4th Amendment protections and wiretap the offices of defense attorneys whose clients are accused of terrorism. The hope is to be able to prevent the next 9/11.

Assume government immunity ensures I won't be prosecuted criminally or sued civilly. Can I write the instructions? What Model Rules of Professional Conduct might be implicated here?


(Something like that showed up on my ethics exam today.)

[flvegan]

29. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Because of the double secret Operation Obama Slogan "Yes We Can", yes you can. Besides, you're just following your superior's orders.

Though I think that since this was an ethics exam, the answer is that you probably could but shouldn't because of somethingorother about enabling the breaking of a law or trampling the Constitutional Rights of people in your practice of law.

BTW, your question is a big reason why I didn't go to law school. Hope you got it right. Can I ask how you answered it?

[eyesroll]

35. I answered that I could not ethically write the memo.

Without looking up the cites because I am fried from the exam, lawyers aren't allowed to make stuff up, ignore the law, stretch the truth. They're also not allowed to use "I was following my superior's instructions" defenses when the instructions are unreasonable (which I said they were--subordinates are allowed to use that defense so long as their superior's instruction was reasonable, even if it turned out to be ultimately wrong.)

(I basically adapted my notes about the crappiness of Gonzales' torture memos to this situation. Apparently Gonzales used a 1935 Webster's dictionary to define certain words, like "severe"--needless to say, they didn't mean then what they do now.)

Lawyers are also supposed to be objective counselors to their clients (whether their clients are private, corporations, institutions, government, whatever). That means they're supposed to refrain from just spewing party line, which is what my boss in this fact pattern told me to do.

[flvegan]

37. See, not a day of law school

and I tanked it...sort of.

Love your sig line, BTW.

[MrCoffee]

33. Great googly moogly! Your Ethics prof is deranged.

[eyesroll]

38. He's a Jesuit priest who worked as a prosecutor on the Dahmer case.

So, yes.

[Mike 03]

32. flvegan, I'm not surprised. You know a lot about a many things.

Law is fascinating. I'm really weak on contract law and the finer points of will, estates and trusts.

My questions are mostly about will and trusts.

[flvegan]

34. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Law is fascinating, and there was a time I was very close to law school, but alas...

I'm actually nowhere near the skills of a lawyer, but I do know a great deal about real estate law as it pertains to the state of Florida. As for wills and trusts, so long as it's purely a real property title question in Florida, I could probably help you out. Otherwise, I'm totally worthless.

[Mike 03]

39. I really appreciate people who get deeply into a subject just out of passion

That's pretty much me too.

Fall in love with a subject, read everything I can on it.

Or else, HAVE to learn a subject because there's some emergency.

It's a great thing to have that depth of curiosity.

[Frosty1]

41. Is it illegal to tutch the butt?

:blush:

[flvegan]

44. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Not if you have the butt owner/operator's explicit permission to do so. Except maybe in Arkansas.

[Crazy Dave]

45. Oh Gawd!

More late night TV commercials

1-800-ASK-flvegan :rofl:

[flvegan]

46. "Don't be scared and confused"

just call flvegan.

I love it.

[rug]

47. When is it ripe to enforce riparian rights?

[flvegan]

48. I'm glad you came to me with this.

Riparian rights are a fine way to keep some big new destructive development from coming to fruition especially if they want to fill in land. It's also a fine way for say, a big condo on the water to offer to sell boat slips to condo owners in the Declaration.

[rug]

50. That's actually a pretty good answer.

:thumbsup:

[flvegan]

53. Thanks.

I've been in the title biz for quite a while.

[XemaSab]

51. If the dogs don't like the really expensive, hypoallergenic dog food I got

Can I sue the dog food manufacturer for pain and suffering inflicted upon the dogs?

And if it gives Pip gas, can I sue for pain and suffering inflicted upon ME? x(

:shrug:

[flvegan]

54. I'm glad you came to me with this.

No, but the dogs can. They'll need a lawyer, though.

[XemaSab]

55. Can you be their lawyer?

Will you represent them even if the food in question is lamb and potato? :shrug:

[flvegan]

56. Alas, I cannot.

I've been banned from practicing anything but baseball in California.

[XemaSab]

57. Wanna go throw the ball for the dogs at the dog park?

:bounce:

[flvegan]

58. w00t!

[XemaSab]

59. No alcohol allowed there though

You'll have to tank up before you leave.

[flvegan]

60. I always do.

I try not to drink in front of the "kids"

[XemaSab]

61. I like getting really trashed in front of them and screaming

"You're why "mommy" drinks!"

It's good preparation for having kids. :D