OMFG just shoot me now.

[Dangerously Amused]

I am trapped in this totally fucking USELESS continuing education seminar, ALL FREAKING DAY, which I am REQUIRED to attend, and for which I paid HUNDREDS of dollars. I could TOTALLY teach this class better than the sorry old windbag yapping away at the podium. OMG... no. NO. NOOOOOO! He just said, and please let me quote verbatim:

"Is there any of you that just read in the newspaper the verdict..."

:banghead:

Oh! Oh! And now:

"My mother and some persons say that I am a person who makes up his mind real quick..."

Buddy, there ain't NOTHING quick about your mind.


Oh, this is going to be a long, painful day. THANK GOD the hotel has wireless.

[DS1]

1. That's one of those situations where I would want my 5 second quantum replay button

So I could stand up and yell "You're a stupid fucking fuck, you fuckass piece of shit!"

Just to see the reaction. Then 4.99 seconds later hit button and find myself seated, and feeling a lot better.

[Dangerously Amused]

3. THAT would be helpful.

Except it would probably lead to a continuous ten seconds forward, five seconds back situation, because I would be hitting that sweet button with the frequency and intensity of an uzi.

Anyway. Thanks for making me laugh.

[FloridaJudy]

2. This sounds like a good time

To work on your telekinetic powers.



Been there/done that. Any chance you could hide an MP3 player in your pocket? Pretend it's a hearing aid.

[Dangerously Amused]

4. Ha ha, I like the way you think. :D

The truth is I've become rather passive-aggressive about the whole thing. And so have a lot of the others who attend. People bring newspapers, laptops, Blackberries, magazines, work... it's a joke, really. The whole charade is just an vapid revenue-generating opportunity for the professional organization, and everybody knows it.

I dare not listen to my mp3 player though, I KNOW I will start rocking out and singing along to the tunes. I am really looking forward to the day when a good poker game starts up, though. :7

[lizziegrace]

5. Hehe...

oh the trouble we could cause. But, I'm not there. Yay for me!!

:P

[Dangerously Amused]

6. =sigh= I wish you were here!

But at least it is always a good opportunity to catch up on email, go through old bookmarks, file stuff correctly, etc. etc etc.

Heh. I feel sorry for the polite people who make themselves sit there for eight hours and pretend to be getting a damn thing out of it. I've done that. Life is too short.

[Dangerously Amused]

7. AHHHHHHHHHH!!1!! The stupid, it hurts!

:cry:

Sorry. I just... this is just... omg.

:cry:

[monmouth]

8. Will there be lunch with many and assorted beverages????...n/t

[Dangerously Amused]

9. Sadly, no.

There is: Coffee, tea, OJ, assorted cans of soda (NONE of which are Coke products, ;/ ), doughnuts and fruit pieces. I have already scarfed up as much fruit as I possibly can while still maintaining my dignity (such as it is), and hidden away a can of soda in my briefcase. After lunch there will be coffee, soda and cookies. Obviously they know enough to keep an arsenal of caffeine and sugar at the ready to promote actual consciousness in their captive crowd; the question for us is whether it would be more embarrassing to fall asleep while sitting up among one's peers, or more painful to endure this absolute drivel while sober and wide awake. Decisions, decisions...

:hi:

[monmouth]

12. I really do feel for you but you have a great attitude...LOL...n/t

[Dangerously Amused]

17. Aw, thanks. It's laugh or cry today. Might as well laugh. :D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear Dangerously Amused!

Oh sweetie!

You may not shoot yourself now, and nobody else can either! You are way too important for anyone to do that!

I'm really sorry to hear about your wasted day...

But at least you can talk to us!

Sorry, I have nothing funny or witty to say. Just woke up and my brain is just barely functional...

:hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

13. Ha ha, you made me laugh anyway. Thanks. :D

The day truly is a waste. I am getting such a low threshold for BS as I get older, ha ha. Actually, I didn't sleep much last night and now I'm overtired/slap happy and getting a little buzzy from the caffeine, and... and the whole dumbass thing is wanting to get me started in a serious giggle fit. Oh noes!

Must not giggle. Must not giggle. Must not giggle....

heeeee!

[Deep13]

11. I feel your pain.

At least the county pays for mine and are sometimes interesting. When I was in private practice I took anything I could get and they sucked on toast.

[Dangerously Amused]

15. You know it. Sucks on burned toast, sideways and backwards.

OMG, the "plaintiff" in the mock case sounds just like Marge from Fargo, (yaaaaah!), and one of the other party names is "Buehler." Buehler? Buehler?

I swear to god I am going to bust out in screaming laughter before the lunch break. :rofl:

[Bucky]

14. Make sure you rip him a new asshole when they pass out feedback forms

I used to organize workshops and we really relied on those feedback forms to make sure we weren't wasting the time & money of participants (ie "paying customers"). I'm not sure if the people putting on your conference feel the same way, but I think most groups do like to make sure the consumers are getting something out of it.

[Dangerously Amused]

16. Heya. I will definitely fill out the feedback form.

It's hard to know what to say to get the point across adequately while still being taken seriously, you know? Also, the guys they have speak are the venerated, white-haired, silk-stocking'd oldsters, clearly beyond reproach. =sigh= I suppose I will have to add some positive feedback to maintain an aura of "fair and balanced" credibility. Okay, um... the fruit was mostly ripe.

[Bucky]

18. Suggested feedback: "I feel like I wasted my money @ this seminar. I will tell all my associates..."

"...about the inferior quality of both the content of this workshop and the lack of professionalism of the people organizing it. But the fruit was ripe."

But that would just be my approach.

[Dangerously Amused]

21. Ha ha. Maybe just:

"Dude. More fruit, less bullshit. Seriously."


OR


"At least the fruit was ripe." :eyes:

[myrna minx]

20. Just print out this thread and submit it as real time feedback.

:rofl:

[Dangerously Amused]

22. Ahh, that would be funny!

:7

[flvegan]

19. The folks that give it know it's useless, too.

I helped write our ongoing ed seminar and I can remember saying to the other underwriters that we were simply giving folks information they already know. Their response? "Yeah, it's all crap but folks need their credits."

Sorry you're enduring.

[Dangerously Amused]

23. I know, and I think that's what irritates me the most.

We're ALL sitting here knowing that it's a complete joke... the guys who run the thing and the rest of us who are required to drop a grand to attend. EVERYBODY KNOWS it's just a way for the organization to generate the revenue to cover their salaries and pay off that nice new multi-million dollar office building they built for themselves a few years ago, you know, the one that is "OPEN TO ALL OF US WHENEVER WE NEED IT..." sure, just reserve a meeting room and DRIVE THREE HUNDRED MILES to meet a client at "your" professional building. :eyes:

Anyway, thanks. But you aren't doing nearly enough to distract me from my mental anguish here.

[SCantiGOP]

24. did he try to get you to

change the pair uh diggum?

[Dangerously Amused]

25. Do what now?

:shrug:

[Dangerously Amused]

26. PLEEEEEASE PLEEEEEEEEEASE MAKE THIS THING ENNNNNND!

People, people people! DO NOT go for "clever" until you have mastered "competent."

OMG I cannot TAKE much more of this.

:banghead:



Sorry.


=sigh=