Christmas Vacation best lines....list them here

[greenbriar]

Shitter's full


Hey griz...if you aren't doing anything constructive run and get my stogies

[suninvited]

1. Hey Rudolf

your nose sucks. It used to be red, now it is just beige.

[BulletproofLandshark]

2. "We're gonna press on, ..

and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest
Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye!"

[RoyGBiv]

8. Longer quote ...

This is my favorite ...

"Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

[greenbriar]

3. todd and margo

Todd and Margo Chester, the Griswold's yuppie neighbors, appear]
Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: I wasn't talking to you.

[greenbriar]

4. best one

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

[RoyGBiv]

6. We need sound ...

http://www.wilstar.com/midi/tirade.wav

[greenbriar]

5. can't stop

You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

[RoyGBiv]

7. Ed, what's wrong with the dog?

Oh, he's just yacking on a bone ...

<harrruppggg>

He's alright now.

http://www.wilstar.com/midi/bone.wav

[greenbriar]

9. squirrel

Russ, go get the hammer.
Clark, what do you need a hammer for?
I'm gonna catch it in the coat... And smack it with the hammer.

[mreilly]

10. Here's one I used the other day!

A guy I know from work parked in a handicapped spot when we went out to lunch. He actually had a handicapped tag somehow even though he was perfectly healthy. And he was gleeful about getting the spot. So I told him "That's pretty low, mister! If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you with it." I really would have too, but there was no rubber hose in sight.

[Initech]

11. Here's one:

"They want you to say Grace."
"Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!"
"THE BLESSING!!"
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands, one nation under god, indivisble, with liberty and justice for all."

:rofl: