PSA to all single straight male DU'ers....

[mcctatas]

"Nice rack, can I buy you a beer" is NEVER a good opening line!

that is all :toast:

[KitchenWitch]

1. !!!

:rofl:

[Deep13]

2. If I wrote the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

How's that?

[krispos42]

3. So what does work?

I've never done a cold hit on a woman in real life.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

72. There is no "one size fits all" line

The best lines are based on the moment and the person.

The others are likely to elicit a "Get lost, creep" response.

[flvegan]

4. If I said you had a fantastic body, would you hold it against me?

Would I get extra points if I said that while showing my tongue acrobatic abilities?

[In_The_Wind]

32. LOL

That was always the quickest way for a man to see the back of my head as I walked away. :silly:

[Danger Mouse]

5. Nice shoes...

...

[mcctatas]

6. That on the other hand...

is freaking poetry :rofl: (if it ends the way I think it does)

[Danger Mouse]

22. Oh, it ends EXACTLY the way you think it does.

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. I tried that one once

Not as a pick-up line, just as a compliment, and also as kind of a tension-breaker — she was a brand-new volleyball coach of a brand-new high school team and this was just before their first game. I knew she was married, too, so...



She looked at me, smiled and said, "Men."



I enjoyed it. :)

[mcctatas]

18. Oedi...

:spank:

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. What??

I was just being nice. :shrug:









In a semi-flirty kinda way.

[mcctatas]

20. Did you stop after the word shoes?

or did you finish the whole line?

[Oeditpus Rex]

21. I didn't know there was more

All I said was "Great shoes." :shrug:



They were, too.

[mcctatas]

24. It goes like this....

"Nice shoes, wanna..." (use your imagination here oedi;) )

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. Oh

Well... I might've been thinking that. She was really cute and we got along well.

But it'd be waaaaaaayyy out of line for a sportswriter to hit on a coach, especially at the high school level.

[Schema Thing]

71. "....have a foot race?" ?

[CreekDog]

79. Knew a lady who said Fred Biletnikoff was much more efficient than that

he simply said, "wanna f*ck?".

Raiders...typical.

Except for Madden, love that guy. ;)

[CreekDog]

78. After talking to them for a few minutes, you should always ask them what color your eyes are

:rofl:

[fNord]

66. you beat me to it n/t

[Lucian]

7. Ha!

:rofl:

I've never used that one. Usually, I stick with "Hi. How's it going?". Women tend to respond better to that one.

[harmonicon]

8. I'm sorry

Next time, I'll say "boobies".... or would you prefer "melons"? I'll get it right one of these days, and that beer will be yours!

[mcctatas]

9. Funbags?

:shrug:

[harmonicon]

13. ok, I'll try that next time.

Thanks! :)

[Oeditpus Rex]

27. I hate that one

x(

[mcctatas]

28. psssstt...

I was gonna say tatas, but that seemed a little too obvious :evilgrin:

[Oeditpus Rex]

29. I'm not a big fan of that one, either

About the only one I ever use in casual context is "boobs."



"Breasts" is such a pretty word. :)

[geomon666]

30. Tig ol' Bitties

All the chicks dig it.

[Robeson]

10. Do guys actually say that?

[mcctatas]

11. Drunken frat boys under the age of 25 say a lot of stupid shit...

and yep, that is a direct quote from about 2 hours ago, I was tempted to take the beer, but I decided to stand on principle ;)

[Robeson]

15. I guess I'm getting old. We used to exercise a little more...

...nuance, back in the old days, when we sought to get into someones pants. I dare to say, our old school methods were probably better than to say, "I love your rack". But who knows?

[CreekDog]

80. With shoes like that, you might as well

stand. :hide:

[kentauros]

12. Depends on what kind of racks you're talkin' about

:P

...
...
...



Or you could wear one of these and get a free refill:
Beer Bra!
:rofl:

[mcctatas]

14. OMFG!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry :rofl:

[kentauros]

16. I wasn't expecting to see a Spanish Inquisition

uh, I mean, a "beer bra" as I was looking for a "beer rack" :P

[begin_within]

34. Nobody expects to

[Left Is Write]

23. I'm pretty sure no one has ever said that to me.

[mcctatas]

25. Obviously you don't hang around the quality folk like I do then...

:rofl:

[Left Is Write]

43. I think it's my less-than-stellar rackitude.

:D

[CreekDog]

81. anyone with "tatas" in their screenname, well, there's no competing with that

:hug:

[Dystopian]

35. I'm certain no one has ever said that to me....

Men actually LQQK into my eyes...;)
They never notice 'anything else'...:shrug:

peace~

[NewJeffCT]

51. Believe it or not

my ex-wife said one reason she liked me so much from the beginning was because I was one of the first guys she had met that was able to look her in the eyes...

[Dystopian]

61. Oh....

that is so very sweet.....a real man!

peace~

[Chan790]

31. what if it's situationally witty?

[begin_within]

33. ...and yet men seem to love being complimented on their bodies

[CreekDog]

82. A man would prefer to be a sexual object than a Nobel Prize winner

i guess there's a glass floor too.

[DarkTirade]

36. ... so next time I should offer a martini?

:shrug:

[taterguy]

37. Wish you had posted this thread a few hours earlier

[Pierre.Suave]

42. ROFL

Did you have a bicycling accident? I am pretty sure you did not use the "nice tits" line on some woman at the bar.

[taterguy]

45. The beard is to cover scars from an old cycling accident

The bloody nose is from making a mistake while cutting down a tree

[Pierre.Suave]

46. Ouch

I hope it didnt hurt too much, unless it was a big mistake.

[NJmaverick]

38. I guess it depends on what you are looking for

if you are trying to pick up just any woman, it's a terrible line. However, if by some miracle the line works, well it certainly would be a sure fire way to prescreen the woman you are purchasing the beer for.

[Pierre.Suave]

39. Hey...

Doesnt RetroLounge live in Wisconsin...

hmmmmm

:rofl:

[machI]

40. If I don't put $500 on my company credit card by tonight, they will cut back on my travel budget

[billyoc]

41. Sound advice. If "nice tits" doesn't get a smile, don't bother with bribery.

:hi:

[mcctatas]

49. Always the pragmatist, good to know

;)

[Twillig]

44. It's a test to see how much she likes beer. n/t

[old mark]

47. Mc: I heard this long ago and far away, " I swear, Miss Judy,

you're as pretty as a speckeled pup under a red wagon."

Even that didn't work.


mark

[Iggo]

48. This one works:

Variations on "I remember you. You're the pretty one." (Got that one from my Dad.)

Be smooth, though. It's all in the delivery.

Say any line like it's a line and you're doomed.

Now go get 'em, boys. And hey...let's be careful out there.

[CreekDog]

83. and be handsome too

if you're ugly, everything you say is going to be offensive. :shrug:

[NewJeffCT]

50. This thread is useless

with pictures...

[Generic Brad]

52. That can work in the correct context

1. Guy makes his move after girl racks up pool balls for the break.
2. Guy watches girl shopping at a bar that doubles as clothing store.
3. Male admiring female deer hunters kill.

There is no such thing as a bad line! Context is everything!!!

[BreweryYardRat]

53. I may be a hairy touchy-feely lecher...

...but I sure as hell wouldn't ever say that.

Sheesh, and I thought I had bad social skills.

[SteppingRazor]

54. Sure it is! You just don't hang out in the right kind of bars.

:P

[PaddyBlueEyes]

55. nice rack

wanna _______ is better?

[mcctatas]

56. Silver tongued devil strikes again...

;)

[PaddyBlueEyes]

57. bows

....

[coyotespaw]

58. It's what you get for living amongst the cheeseheads

[mcctatas]

59. Oh please...

Iowa is like Wisconsin's ugly step-sister;)

[coyotespaw]

69. I may live in Iowa, but I'm not an Iowan

I've been drafted to Team Iowa to bring up the standards.

[mcctatas]

73. You are a true humanitarian my friend....

must be to have taken a shit appointment like being drafted to Iowa ;)

[coyotespaw]

75. Well, that and

they gave me a job that where I could drink and work at the same time.

[mcctatas]

84. In WI, we call that.....

being employed anywhere;)

[billyskank]

60. Thank you.

So what should I say to you instead?

[Skittles]

64. you're just asking for it

I INTEND TO DELIVER

[billyskank]

76. You're all words and no ass kickings.

:P

[mcctatas]

65. how about....

"Nice rack, can I buy you a car?"

[NewJeffCT]

68. I'll keep that in mind

next time I'm single and in a bar.

[Aristus]

62. I've never used that line anyway...

...I always offered wine... ;-)

:hi: mcctatas! :loveya:

[edbermac]

63. "Nice rack, can you buy ME a beer?"

How's that for an opener? B-)

[fNord]

67. That one I just might try n/t

[AccessGranted]

70. Baby, I'm Like A Snow Storm . . .

10 Inches and Keep You Stuck In The House All Day Long!

That's the worst!

[quakerboy]

74. But its still ok for us marrieds, right?

[CreekDog]

77. Yes, but I use that line because I really don't deserve any better

:shrug:

[Brewman_Jax]

85. Don't forget this one...

you must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night!

:P

[MissMillie]

86. Jeez... us single women are S.O.L. aren't we?

THAT'S what's left out there......

[mcctatas]

89. My next husband will be two things...

rich and terminal :evilgrin:

[mikeytherat]

87. "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take off your pants and dance around a little?"

That's another one not to use.

mikey_the_rat

[Parche]

88. If They were looking at your book rack?

:shrug: :hi:

[Locrian]

90. golf course

Go to a golf course and ask "how much does it cost to play a round?"


But the funniest (un-intentional, of course) was my wife at the deli: "I'd like a pound of your hard salami please"

[av8rdave]

91. You haven't seen a Congressional Medal of Honor laying around, have you? I seem to have lost mine

That's OK. I have another one at home.

[Beer Snob-50]

92. it would if you were talking about the gun rack on her truck...

and you would get off cheap because she would settle for bud light instead of a good beer.

[TK421]

93. Agreed...I never know the right thing to say, but that's not a good opener

However, I may have fucked up a little at the bar last Saturday night.

Just sitting there having some beers with my landlord and noticed that there was this new bartender who was eyeing me up. I didn't think much of it, only that I didn't recognize her from the usual barkeeps I'm used to seeing there. She was really nice and attentive, and I realized I never got her name ( I didn't want to keep saying hey bartender every time I needed a beer ). I waved her over and said "I'm sorry, I'm Mark..I didn't get your name". Well, she says "After all that time when I was staring at you so intensely from across the bar? I thought you were going to ask me something else".
I think I blushed, and didn't know what to say. Was I a dumb jerk? :(

[nickgutierrez]

94. Damn! I knew something wasn't right.

Thanks for the heads-up. :toast:

[Blue_Tires]

95. can't be any less successful than the lines i use now...

[Lethe]

96. "My name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents."

It always works if she was a Seinfeld fan and you have a dumbass self-deprecating grin on your face.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

97. Has anyone tried "Nice rack, can I buy you a Car?"