Ode to coffee

[pokerfan]

Not so much an ode as a collection of favorite quotes....



How sweet coffee tastes! Lovlier than a thousand kisses, sweeter than Muscatel wine! ~ Johann Sebastian Bach

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend! ~ Gerard Way

Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do.

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.

If this is coffee, then please-bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever. ~ David Letterman

It's a sad tale, but true. The thrifty young student comes to campus in pursuit of knowledge, only be to led astray by casual sex, recreational drugs and the sweet aromas of the roasted coffee bean. ~ David Adesnik

This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder. ~ Honore de Balzac, "The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee"

Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee! They got mochachino, cappuchino, frappachino, Al Pacino, what the fuck? www.what the fuck.com!
~ Denis Leary

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles. ~ Dave Barry

The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole. ~ George Carlin

Give a frontiersman coffee and tobacco, and he will endure any privation, suffer any hardship, but let him be without these two necessaries of the woods, and he becomes irresolute and murmuring. ~ U.S. Army Lt. William Whiting, 1849

For fifteen days I struggled to prove that no functions analogous to those I have since called Fuchsian functions could exist; I was then very ignorant. Every day I sat down at my work table where I spent an hour or two; I tried a great number of combinations and arrived at no result. One evening, contrary to my custom, I took black coffee; I could not go to sleep; ideas swarmed up in clouds; I sensed them clashing until, to put it so, a pair would hook together to form a stable combination. By morning I had established the existence of a class of Fuchsian functions, those derived from the hypergeometric series. I had only to write up the results which took me a few hours. ~ Henri Poincare (Science et Methode)

A PROCLAMATION FOR THE SUPPRESSION OF COFFEE HOUSES: Whereas it is most apparent that the multitude of Coffee Houses of late years set up and kept within this Kingdom...and the great resort of idle and disaffected persons to them, have produced very evil and dangerous effects; as well for that many tradesmen and others, do herein misspend much of their time, which might and probably would be employed in and about their Lawful Calling and Affairs; but also for that in such houses...divers, false, malitious, and scandalous reports are devised and spread abroad to the Defamation of His Majesty's Government, and to the disturbance of the Peace and Quiet of the Realm; his Majesty hath though it fit and necessary, that the said Coffee Houses be (for the Future) put down and suppressed... ~ King Charles II of England, December 23, 1675 (Revoked on January 8th due to widespread citizen protest)

We made three cups of coffee today. The last one - you know when all the plumbing was warmed up, the hydrogen gun and everything, was warmest of the three. I don't know who had that one - Neil, did you have that one? How was your coffee? You didn't drink it till later, did you? Anyway, it's pretty good. It's not piping hot, but it sure beats stone-cold coffee. ~ Michael Collins, Apollo 11 Command Module Pilot speaking to Houston Mission Control

[electricprunes]

1. Cool pics

Thanks for that!

[pokerfan]

2. Those are the small versions

For the wallpaper sized (3+ mega pixel) versions, google 'coffee' with extra large images selected.