Last night I was assaulted!

[Turbineguy]

That's right!.

I was at the 7-11 (minding my own business) buying a Lotto ticket and a blue, banana flavored Slurpee (xtra large size) when 2 white ruffians threw me to the floor. One held me in a pinned position while the other, brandishing a hot-dog, carved a large "Q" in my forehead four times.

This was obviously a racially motivated attack as they left the Pakistani running the shop, alone. Did I mention the attackers were white!?

After they finished terrorizing me (thank goodness the frank was kosher!), they told me that this served me right for not having an Obama sticker on my car. I told them that I have removed the sticker after some wingnut had nearly run my Son with his family off the road.

They left. The store manager had already called the police. With the last drops of energy left in my broken and bruised body, I crawled to the condiment tray to smash a couple of packets of ketchup on my head for effect. Unfortunately, in the altercation, I lost my reading glasses and ended up with mustard and mayonnaise instead.

The police came and they were white too. There I was with Four-Q on my forehead and my hair matted with mustard (Grey Poupon yet) and mayo. I told them what happened and they promised a full investigation with the guilty parties fund, tried and executed. I told them to look for a couple of white guys. Shoot to kill.

My Wife took me to the ER where I was Baker Acted and spent the rest of the night listening to the screams of crazy people.

I finally got home at 5 this morning. The attackers were white.

And if you believe any of this you must be a republican.

[DS1]

1. Plastic Grey Poupon packets in a 7-Eleven?

You must live in one of those elite states, elitist.

[vard28]

2. That's a

doggone shame! Frankly, I'm appalled! :hide: