Post a title of a movie. I'll write a negative, smarmy review of it.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

If you're lucky, I might even throw in a Shalitesque pun.

I'm feeling smarmy, and I need an outlet.

[TZ]

1. Casablanca..n/t

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. Casablanca, or The Best White Tuxedo since Colonel Sanders.

What can I say about Casablanca that hasn't already been said by Umberto Eco?

http://www.themodernword.com/eco/eco_casablanca.html

I've seen Bugs Bunny parodies of this movie that were better than this movie.

It's just one stupid cliche after another. Ridiculous, stupid lines like:

"Play it again, Sam."

Or "Of all the gin joints..."

Or that bit were Ingrid Bergman calls a forty year old black guy "boy."

The only good thing that came out of that movie was the "usual suspects" line that inspired the 1994 film, "The Usual Suspects." And that movie sucked too.

If this review seems short, that's only because I couldn't stand more than a few minutes of that crap.

[speedoo]

2. To Kill a Mockingbird. nt

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

5. "To Kill a Mockingbird," or I Don't See What All of the Fuss is About.

Gregory Peck defends a rapist, shoots a dog, forces his child daughter to dress up like a ham, and conspires with the racist town sheriff to cover up the murder of the town drunk.

The jokes fall completely flat. This film has no redeeming value

[flvegan]

Debbie Does Dallas

[two gun sid]

4. Fritz The Cat

[ghostsofgiants]

6. The Fall of the House of Usher

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

11. "The House of Usher."

This Corman film is an adaptation of Poe's forgettable "Fall of the House of Usher." The only thing remotely creepy about this picture is star Vincent Price's resemblance to the pedophile in "The Family Guy."

Why they chose to make an adaptation of a noted hack and plagiarists work is beyond me. There's much better material to be found in the work of proper horror authors like H.P. Lovecraft, or Garth Marenghi.

I'll save you a few bucks. The house falls into the swamp at the end. Why couldn't it have happened to Corman and the production of this trash?

[ghostsofgiants]

13. I was talking about the Jean Epstein version, fool.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

16. No you weren't, dipshit.

Which one of us is the movie critic here?

Exactly.

[Danger Mouse]

7. Titanic. Please make it a good one.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

8. Titanic.

You could tell the ship was in trouble when he had a three month head start in the GE on Obama, who was in a bitter primary, and was STILL losing in the polls once Obama clinched the nomination.

Three fucking months! And what did he do with it? Nothing?

And then he tried every fucking failed tactic against the guy. Couldn't he come up with anything new? Just one thing? He even went with the SNL sexist route? And Rocky Balboa?

Hey, pal. Why don't you trying playing some Metallica music without a license, I'm sure they won't mind.

And Palin? Sarah fucking Palin? WTF was that? I spend more time vetting my car mechanic!

[TZ]

23. Best.Review.Ever...

:applause:

[Lethe]

9. The Abominable Dr. Phibes

[Swede]

10. Schindler's List.

:hi:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

14. Schindler's List, or The Holocaust Movie with a Happy Ending.

First off, I've a feeling Spielberg's movie about war saboteurs may be one again encouraging anti-semitism. I've said similar things about Spielberg's horrible movies before, and I'll say it again.

Schindler's list is about a Nazi who registers and records Jews on a list. He's the hero, apparently. This movie has more naked old people than "About Schmidt" and it's twice as funny. You know, two high school kids got into trouble when their class took a field trip to this movie, and they burst out laughing at a scene where a nazi shoots a jews architect when she complains about substandard building practices. Hell, that same scene worked for big laughs in "Abbot and Costello Meet the Nazis," only a hack like Spielberg couldn't pull off that gag.

[BlueJazz]

12. Blair Witch Project

[mcctatas]

15. Desperately Seeking Susan...

Wow, what random synapse fire in my brain dragged that one out of the vault :scared:

[charlie and algernon]

17. One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

20. One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

God, what an awful movie. First, it's an adaptation of a horrible book. I mean, there's one scene in that book where Jack Nicholson reminisces fondly about having sex with a prepubescent girl. And the movie is even worse that the book.

The movie has each scene entirely out of order, supporting my suspicions that director Milos Foreman was actually a patient at the Salem Mental Hospital where this movie is filmed. It's an exceedingly misogynistic movie. You'll notice that all of the mental patients have problems with women, particularly poor Nurse Ratchet, who is sexually assaulted in the climax of this film. It's the most gut-wrenching rape sequence since The Clockwork Orange. Thank God the villain, McMurphy, recieves justice in the end. However, they did do injustice to the Big Chief, the narrator of the book is only a minor character in the film. In the end, they only show him running off into the horizon. An obviously inferior ending to the book, where he ends up on the professional wrestling circut.

[Danger Mouse]

18. Okay, then. Let's do another. The Passion of the Christ.

[mcctatas]

19. homo-erotic snuff film for closeted fundamentalists?

[fed_up_mother]

21. While You Were Sleeping

[YankeyMCC]

22. Cool hand Luke

[fNord]

24. heres a chalenge.......

Bowling for Columbine:evilgrin:.....