WANTED: One NFL-caliber defense!

[JTG of the PRB]

Are you a professional-caliber defense? Can you stuff the run? Can you shut down the pass? Have you ever heard of Reggie Bush?

If so, then you're more than qualified for this once-in-a-season opportunity! You could become...

AN NFL DEFENSE!!!

How, you ask? It's simple! You see, NFL defenses are designed to both shut down the running AND passing offenses on a regular basis. The NFL defenses that can do this usually lead their teams to lofty places, such as the playoffs or national respectability. The rewards for reaching that level can truly be life-changing! Money, respect, and not getting booed off the field by your own fans!

The opportunity we have for you is in a beautiful western city: Denver, Colorado! Nestled near the Rocky Mountains, Denver is a great city with many modern amenities - movie theatres, restaurants, gas stations... Everything you could want! Denver is a city rising to national prominence, so don't let this amazing opportunity slip through your fingers!

There will be an long, detailed interview process, so prepare yourself. You must know how to cover running backs, tight ends, and receivers up and down the field. Pass rushing is a must, and extensive coverage is required. Do not apply if you cannot make a proper tackle.

We are looking for the best defense out there, and YOU could be the one we're looking for!

Apply in person at Mile High Stadium in Denver. Must like blue and orange. Must be available on Sundays (and the occasional Monday). Must have heard of Reggie Bush at least once.

APPLY TODAY!!!

[KitchenWitch]

1. Can I dovetail a request for an NFL Offense onto your request.

Although the Vikings did actually WIN today's game, there were some rather touch and go moments with the offense. All I really want is a QB that can complete a pass longer than a lateral or screen pass. I do not ask for much really. We have a great running game, I would settle for a medium to good passing game. And an offensive line that can block a little better.

And can the officiating fairy bestow upon the Vikings fewer penalties, many of which have been ticky tack penalties based on the reputations of two previous head coaches...

[JTG of the PRB]

2. I'll take a win any way I can get it...

...but I sure would like it if my team actually TRIED to win the game after the first quarter ends. I was at the game today, and it was beyond frustrating.

Like I said, I like it when the Broncos win, but DAMN! I could have sworn we had Champ Bailey AND Dre Bly playing in our secondary...

I saw that the Vikes won today. I'm kind of pulling for them a little bit this season. Not a lot, but a little.

[KitchenWitch]

3. The Vikings game was not carried locally

But I am a member of a Vikings fan club that meets at a local pizza joint, so I got to see the game there.

[DS1]

4. How about a bionic Tom Brady knee? I'll take one of those

in fact, build two while you're at it, one for each side.

[LibertyLover]

5. No, you can't have anyone from the Ravens defensive line!

n/t

[Missy Vixen]

6. It's all our fault

We lured Patrick Kerney away from the Broncos. The urban legend has it that he was ready to sign, then Jim Mora talked him into coming to Seattle for a little visit first.


"Heeere, little quarterback! Got somethin' for you!"

Even with a kickass front seven, we are kind of hoping that Santa will bring us a couple of secondary players. We'd also like our wide receivers to actually stay healthy for longer than one game snap, too.

In the meantime, I will think good thoughts for your defense, and you all have a tremendous quarterback.

Julie

[Frank Cannon]

7. That game was, indeed, a defensive fiasco

As much as I love the Broncos, I have to admit they got lucky again. Who knows how long this will last?

That having been said, I do love the orange jerseys. THAT was cool.