Are jewish people screwed when it comes to combating vampires?

[Lethe]

It seems like the whole vampire thing is so Christian-oriented. You got your crucifixes, holy water, holy wafers, etc, etc.

Why can't you stand down a vampire with a star of david? I mean, it's the same god as the christian god, right? You never hear of that happening in the books or movies, though.

[Xipe Totec]

1. No.

Garlic works too.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Critters2]

3. Not just Jews. Even Protestants are screwed. If a vampire came down my chimney right now,

I'd be hard put to find a crucifix. Cross, maybe, but I don't own anything with a dead Jesus on it. I got spring water, and vanilla wafers...but holy water and holy wafers, not so much. I do have some of those little communion pellets in my freezer, but I don't know if those are effective against vampires. And most Protestants wouldn't even have those.


So, only Catholics have really good vampire insurance. Which doesn't really seem fair.

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. "If a vampire came down my chimney right now..."

Even worse yet, Vampire Santa... :scared:

Although I suppose a plate of blessed milk and cookies would do him in :)

[Lethe]

11. maybe vampires prefer catholic blood

thats why they need all that protection?

also, this is speculation on my part....but i would say a vampire does not like alcohol. You never hear about a vampire attacking the town drunk do ya? Too high of a BAC!

[MsTryska]

23. Don't worry....A Vampire can't come in until you invite them

So jsut answer the door in garlic.

[TimeChaser]

4. Actually, in some book's universes,

any token of faith will work.

[Connonym]

6. I've been trying to remember how it worked in the book "I Am Legend"

I remember that he used a Torah against his friend turned vampire and my recollection is that the vampire laughed at him but it's been a while so I can't remember exactly. I think in that story no religious icons at all worked against the real vampires. Damn I hate how bad my memory is now that I'm old.

[Lethe]

9. hmmm

in the old vincent price movie based on the book he used garlic, mirrors, and wooden stakes.

one of my favorite things in that movie is that he has a lathe (or what would u call it?) to easily and rapidly make stakes. It most books/films they never bother to actually show a person making a stake. It takes time i would guess to make one right.

[sarge43]

71. I believe you're right, Connonym.

I think because vampires were the result of a drug gone wrong, they didn't react in the same way as traditional vamps.

[JVS]

7. Don't be a putz! Vampires can't come in unless you invite them. So don't invite them in.

[Connonym]

8. This reminds me -- is anyone watching the new vampire series on HBO?

I saw a preview and it looked interesting. I don't have HBO though :(

[deucemagnet]

16. I just downloaded and watched the first episode tonight.

It was more focused on Anna Paquin's character, who is not a vampire, but it hooked me enough that I'll watch the next episode. The premise so far seems more science fiction than horror.

[Connonym]

21. where did you download it?

if you don't mind my asking

[deucemagnet]

25. I downloaded a torrent from mininova.org

You'll need a bittorrent client, and a fast connection is a plus, too.

[Connonym]

26. thanks :)

[deucemagnet]

28. You're welcome!

I'll keep seeding for a few days.

[MsTryska]

24. i watched it...

i dug it. it's so darn Southern. and it's got the pre-requisite nudity.

[Dogtown]

46. When "American Gothic" was cancelled

I was seriously pist. I really hope this sticks, it's interesting.

And southern-gothic.

[Shakespeare]

61. Horrendously bad stereotypes and attempts at southern accents, though.

I wish the characters were a tad more authentic.

[PeaceNikki]

48. I LOOOOVE it!

[driver8]

63. I watched an episode the other night -- I am hooked!!

I thought it was a movie, at first...when it ended I was thinking, "WTF?! This movie sucks!"

Then I realized it was a new series and set up my Tivo to record every episode!!

[Forkboy]

10. I open the Lounge and this is the first subject line I see.

:rofl:

I love this place. :)

[UTUSN]

12. I am SO screwed for thinking the o.p. is funny!1 n/t

[RetroLounge]

13. Threads like this are why I get nothing done in my life

and spend all my time reading the lounge...

:rofl:

By the way, as an Agnostic, would I be vampire bait?

:shrug:

RL

[Connonym]

29. no way dude

a heretic like you is already doomed to eternal hell :-P

[Jamastiene]

64. Nah, they never appear to those of us who are atheist or agnostic,

for some odd reason. I've noticed that. I mean, seriously, none of my friends who are atheist or agnostic have ever had vampire problems or even so much as seen a vampire anywhere near them. Have you? I sure haven't.

The real question is:
If vampire bites make you immortal, then why do so many people turn up dead with all their blood sucked from them in those movies? Does a vampire bite make you dead or immortal?

Then again, I'm already immortal. So, that's probably why they never come see me....and dammit...Halloween is my favorite holiday too. Where's my blood drinking knight in a fancy cape with the cool kickass accent?
:cry:

Oh, well, there's always this coming Halloween...and we do have a Transylvania County in North Carolina. :think: :bounce:

Btw, Howdy, RL. :hug:

[crispini]

69. Ya know, there are a couple of schools of thought on that.

In some universes, just being drained by a vampire is enough to make you come back as a vampire after you die. In others, it's the vampire BLOOD that makes you into another vampire. So in those, you have to be "made" a vampire by being fed on, and then drinking the vampire's own blood.

[mcctatas]

14. I don't know...

are vampires Kosher?

[Catch22Dem]

15. Holy wafers?

I've never seen that in a vampire movie.

Where does garlic fit into the picture?

[Lethe]

17. they use holy wafers in Bram Stoker's novel

they chew them up in put them in the cracks around a door (because vampires can become a gas and go through small cracks), and also fill the heads with holy wafers when they decapitate it. ( from what i remember )

[Catch22Dem]

18. I never knew that

Pretty ingenious!

[Aristus]

50. Van Helsing (played by Laurence Olivier) used a holy wafer to repel Frank Langella's Dracula

in the John Badham version.

[Jamastiene]

65. Garlic makes your breath stink.

So, the vampires can't come up to you all sexy and swanky like (has there ever been an unsexy vampire?) to suck your blood, because of the smell. That's just a guess. :shrug:

[minnesota_liberal]

19. Yes, if they use screws

I prefer silver bullets. Have never had much luck with crosses.

[Sebastian Doyle]

39. Silver bullets only work on werewolves

They won't do shit to a vampire.

[pokerfan]

20. sure but try improvising a SOD with scrap wood

[jobycom]

22. In Elizabeth Kostova's "Historian," different faiths use different symbols

this comes up when a Muslim banishes a newly-infected Muslim vampire. I don't know if that had to do with the faith of the vampire or the vanquisher.

[Flagg]

55. Never mention the concept of muslim vampires to freepers, please

[jobycom]

57. I generally avoid all conversation with Freepers, but why?

Do they hate the competition, or do they just look down on vampires in general as lightweights in the bloodsucking industry?

[elshiva]

27. Ask Willow Rosenberg:

She is Jewish, but also a Wiccan and a witch. But, then again it isn't the cross that kills the vampires, it's a wooden stake through the heart and/or decapitation.

buffy/

[Lethe]

31. preferably with a khukri knife

it always does the trick. The secret is to stab it into your adversary's guts, and when they bend over in pain, you cut off their head in one swift stroke like my man J Harker.

Bowie knives are for limp wristed texan assholes. Khukri knives are the way to fight a vampyre.

[elshiva]

32. Thanks for the tip, mate.

:)


buffy/

[Lethe]

35. anytime chummer

remember:

bowie = overcompensation
khukri = lethal british killing machine

[elshiva]

40. Thanks again, pet. "I may be love's bitch

but at least I'm man enough to admit it."



buffy/

[Jamastiene]

66. Oh, great...another knife for me to start collecting.

I'm gonna be broke before I ever get started in life, but who cares? I'll have tons o' knives everywhere. :P

[cemaphonic]

30. What you really have to watch out is pulling that shtick on the *Jewish* vampires.

"Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire." - Shagal from "The Fearless Vampire Killers"

[moriah]

33. Remember "Love At First Bite"?

When the guy reached into his vest and pulled out the Star of David instead of a crucifix?

(I love that movie. "I do not drink ... wine. And I do not smoke shit.")

[crim son]

34. I don't imagine so.

My BIL is a jeweler i.e. he owns a company that makes jewelry, and much of what he creates and sells is Christian-oriented. If anything, he'd be able to bury a vampire and burn him into a stinking pile, if he were to be attacked at his factory. :D

[Sebastian Doyle]

36. Garlic's kosher, ain't it?

Vampires don't like garlic.

[samuraiguppy]

37. garlic is supposed to be good

vampire deterant and it can be used by all faiths!

[krispos42]

38. Actually, vampires should have evolved by now

Vampires that were Christian before they were, um, "converted" are the ones that are afraid of crosses and such. It stands to reason that for that very reason they would not be able to prosper in that kind of area. Too many crosses, too much holy water.

I bet that Christian-based vampires roam around in non-christian areas simply for survival reasons, and non-Christian-based vampires wind up coming to Christian countries. After all, if you're a Muslim vampire, America is pretty safe for you. Damn few crescents for an American to grab and burn your skin with.

The Balkans are probably a big crossover area, with all those Caucasion Muslims and Caucasion Christians to blend in with.

[crispini]

68. So what about Athiest and Agnostic vampires?

Are they repelled by -- question marks?

[sarge43]

72. The Origin of Species by Natural Selection should work. n/t

[krispos42]

73. Flying Spaghetti Monster car decals

And Invisible Pink Unicorn decals, too.

:P

[Misskittycat]

41. Not being able to kill vampires is a cross we Jews have to bear.

[Connonym]

42. ...

:spray: well played!

[BlueCollar]

44. second that

I love the lounge...

[hobbit709]

43. What about Hindu and Moslem texts?

Will the Vedas and the Koran work? How about an image of Quetzalcoatl?
We need to know these things.

[billyskank]

62. You could try beating the fuck out of them with a Mahabarata.

Big book that. :D

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Taverner]

47. Well considering Anti-Semites have based a lot of post-Bram Stoker vampire lore on Jews

Of course, if indeed a Vampire were Jewish, could you kill him with a Star of David Throwing star?

[Orrex]

49. Irving Ninjawitz would be the coolest martial artist ever

Just sayin'.

[TZ]

54. You don't even need a throwing star

Just get some nice stale matzo, or matzo balls or even a good hard potato pancake would be GREAT weapons!
Do you think a Jewish Vampire would go for sleeping in the same broth they preserve gefiltefish in?
That pickle juice will preserve ANYTHING!
Just call me the Deli Ninja of Death...:rofl:

[tigereye]

51. maybe jokes from the 50's Catskills heyday might do it....

edit to add Borscht Belt...

[Twillig]

52. "Stake my wife--Please!"

ba dum bum!

[Orrex]

53. Marvelous!

"A vampire flew up to me and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks. So I bit him."

Boom-ching!

[tigereye]

74. waaah-waah

:rofl:

[Akoto]

56. From personal experience ...

I would pit a Jewish mother against a vampire any day. ;)

[skooooo]

58. Ask Barnabas!!!

[Jamastiene]

67. I loooooved that show.

What I wouldn't give to have the entire series plus the movies on DVD.

[skooooo]

70. It's available on DVD...join Netflix...

They have the entire show available - 26 sets of DVDs X 4.

Also, it's going to be made into another movie next year with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.

Younger whippersnappers who missed out on the original are in for a surprise!!!

Remember, Barnabas will always be with you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p0qZgnDSEE

[Orsino]

59. I can recommend Paul Wilson's THE KEEP. (spoiler)

The vampire in this book pulls the most diabolical trick ever....












{minor spoiler}














The vampire puts an elderly Jewish scholar to work (against his will) on finding a way to free him from the eponymous keep. In the course of their interactions, the vampire is seen to cringe from a Crucifix, but he merely laughs at the Star of David.

Turns out the vamp was unaffected by the Crucifix, but pretended to fear it simply to undermine the old scholar's faith. :o

That bit is about all I remember from the book, but it's brilliant.

[Sequoia]

60. I recall reading somewhere that the first vampire was a Jew.

Wandering Jew....but Anne Rice thinks the first was Egyptian.