John McCain walks into a bar.

[LeftyFingerPop]

The bar is completely empty, except for the bartender.

McCain sits down at the bar and says..."I'll have a beer my friends"

[JTG of the PRB]

1. John McCain walks into a bar...

...which is totally hilarious because everybody else saw it, and they told him to duck, but he was too busy blathering on about something or flip-flopping on some decisive issue to notice it, and he walked right into the bar. Wanged his head up something good, fell over, and had to be helped up by the Secret Service agents with him. He smiled and waved like everything was fine, but the press with him kept snapping pictures and they went up all over the Internets and McCain became a laughing stock and that is one of the 783 reasons he lost the election.

Okay, that's not a real joke, but come on... McCain is a walking joke. How could he possibly get more hilarious?

[madinmaryland]

2. John McCain walked into a bar...

and Philboy explained the brazilian joke to him.

[valerief]

3. John McCain walks into a bar.

He says to the bartender, "Here's a picture of my newest wife."
Bartender says, "Sure she isn't your daughter?"
McCain ignores him and shows him another picture. "Here's her airplane."
Bartender grins from ear to ear and says, "Now that's mighty phallic. Mighty phallic. You sure you're not Bob Dole?"

[Orangepeel]

4. did Lieberman have to order for him? n/t

[WinkyDink]

5. But doesn't sit down, because the bartender had drawn a cross in the peanut shells.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

6. sees John Kerry, Celene Dion and a

horse in there... and says... hey guys, why the long faces?

[elshiva]

7. John McCain walks into a bar

"Ouch."

[KamaAina]

8. John McCain walks into a bar...

...and the bartender says, "Our special tonight is this new drink some guy just invented in Egypt. It's called 'beer'."

[jobycom]

9. John McCain walks into a bar and throws a glass against a wall.

The glass was full of beer. The bartender says "What the hell?" but John just shrugs and says "My wife owns that beer company, and that's what I think of her. Can I have a hotdog?" He gets the hotdog and throws it against the wall, and snarls "It had Heinz ketchup on it, and that's John Kerry's brand. Can I have a bar snack?" The bartender passes him a bowl, and he smashes it with his right hand. "Peanuts," he mutters. "Jimmy Carter."

By now the bartender is seeing a pattern, and he thinks "Ok, no Democratic stuff." So he gives McCain a cup of coffee, which is hurled across the room to splatter alongside the beer. "Coffee. Joe. Lieberman." Now the bartender thinks "Okay, no conservative stuff, either." So the bartender slips to the other end of the bar and flips on the tv. An ashtray comes crashing into the television.

"What was that?" the bartender yells. "Bewitched," says McCain. "You know? Dick York? Dick Cheney?" By now the bartender is looking for a way to call the cops. "He doesn't like his wife, he doesn't like Democrats, he doesn't like independents, and he doesn't even like the VP. What next?" Just then John stands up and says "I need to use the restroom."

"Okay," the bartender says, thinking of any possible conflict. "But don't go in the ladies room!"

[zanne]

10. HAH! nt